Page 21 of Never Forget You

This is why we need to talk and be adults about this before we move forward, or backward, or whatever way this is going to go, I’m not quite sure yet. I need to lay it all out there, however scary it is, and let her know how much I like her, how much she means to me, how much I can’t stand the idea of losing her again, so I don’t want to get into it if it’s not going to be real. Even thinking about saying that is terrifying me, but it’s for the best.

I can’t live in this constant terror any longer. It’s impossible. I can’t exist on the edge, not sure which way things are going to tip over. I need answers, however much I might not like them. I have to have them.

17

GEORGIA

“Oh, my God, what am I doing?” I press my hand to my head, trying to calm the aching down. “What a mess.”

I shouldn’t have been so rude to Harry. I shouldn’t have kicked him out quite so violently, but I’ve just gotten myself out of a messy romantic situation with the end of my marriage. I don’t want to get into another one. Even if it is Harry. Harry Jones, whom I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember. Oh, God, I miss him already.

“Mommy, I had so much fun. We watched a really nice movie, and then we ate popcorn and we had fun.”

Luckily, Ella is much too excited to notice the strangeness in my mood. She doesn’t stop talking the entire time that I am putting the groceries that I can save away. I think I get every single detail of the slumber party, which is nice. I need that distraction from all the emotions circling around in my veins. I am a goddamn mess.

“It was just in the morning when I missed you, Mommy, and I wanted to come back home.”

I bend down to show Ella that I’m serious when I tell her it’s okay. “You can come home whenever you want to, sweetheart,” I reassure her. “As long as you have a good time, that’s the most important thing to me.”

She throws her arms around me and envelops me in a hug. I squeeze her back tightly, needing to cling to her because I’ve missed her so much. I didn’t quite realize how much I missed her until now. That’s probably why I got so carried away last night and didn’t think about the consequences of my actions.

“I did have fun, but I’m glad to be home. Now, can I go and play in my room? I missed my toys.”

“Of course. You go and have some fun, darling.” I rub her hair. “I will be here whenever you need me.”

She runs off, allowing me the space to breathe just a little bit easier. I love having her back, but I’m scared that she can see how confused I am. I don’t wantanythingthat happened with Harry to affect Ella. No way. I mean, he’s her freaking teacher, isn’t he? She doesn’t give a damn about our history. She doesn’t need this.

“I don’t want to move again,” I mutter to myself as I finally collapse on the couch, the hangover claiming me hard. “I don’t want to have to leave this place because I’ve made a mess of things all over again. I can’t.”

The thing is I know what needs to happen, really. We need to have a talk. We’re going tofinallyhave to hold an open and honest conversation, and not just about the past but about now as well. About our real feelings right now.

Scary. The thought sends a shiver racing down my spine, but it’s essential. We’re just going to have to suck it up. I don’t know what the hell I will say, but I’ll have to work out how to be truthful. Oh, God, but not today. Today, I just need to do nothing. I’m not in the mood for anything stressful. I just want to chill out and relax as much as I can…

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

“Oh, God,” I groan to myself as I think about getting off my ass and grabbing my cell phone. The only thing that makes me do it is the idea that it might be one of the millions of jobs I’ve applied to. “Okay, do this. Just do this.”

I’m shocked as I grab my phone and I see a number that I recognize on the screen. One that I didn’t expect to hear from ever again. I don’t know what to do, whether I should pick up or if I should throw my phone across the room.

“He–hello?” I answer. I don’t even realize that I’m going to pick up until I’ve already done it. “Mom?”

“Oh, goodness, Georgia, I didn’t think that you were going to answer.” She sounds thick and emotional. “Sorry for calling you out of the blue like this. I just… well, I miss you and I want to talk to you. It’s been a while.”

“It has.” I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know how to act. “Erm, is everything alright, Mom?”

“Not really.” Now I’m pretty sure she’s crying, which hurts my heart. So much for a day of no drama. “I miss you so much, Georgia. I hate that everything has gone the way that it has. I wish that you hadn't married Ben because I know he wasn’t good to you, and I also wish I hadn’t let your father dictate your life so much.”

Wow, it’s like this has been building up inside her for years and now she’s finally letting it out. I never knew that was possible. She’s always seemed so compliant with what my dad wants, so I don’t know how to take this. Has she really been on my side the whole time and just too scared to say anything about it?

“Erm, well… it’s okay. I’m fine now. Doing much better, thank you very much. I have a nice house here, and Ella is enjoying her new school and everything. So, yes… but of course, I do miss you as well.”

I haven’t really thought about her, to be honest. She hasn’t ever been that much of a feature of my life for me to think about her. She’s always been behind my father, never much of a presence, but it seems that she’s noticed me the whole time. I can’t believe that’s a revelation to me. I can’t believe my mom loving me has come as a shock.

“I wish you were here, I will be honest, but I understand. I know you needed to get away. I just wanted to get in contact with you because… well, I’ve never been the best mom to you, have I? I’ve never helped you like I should. I keeping thinking about all the things that I should have done to save your life.”

Is this a trap? I don’t know if this is a trap and I can’t help being a little bit freaked out about it all. Could my dad be standing behind my mom with Ben there as well? Could they be trying to trick me to find out where I am? That’s the last thing I want. I came here to escape them. I can’t imagine my mom would be doing that to me with that much emotion in her voice, but if my father has scared her, then maybe. I need to work out whether I’m going to trust her or not. I think I’m going to have to make a snap decision and stick with it so I don’t freak out.

Trust her.My brain and my gut agree.Trust her, see what she really wants here. Give it a try.

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