Page 20 of Never Forget You

“Ella… I just got a call from Josie’s mom, and she’s bringing her back here now. She’s missing home. You can’t…” She rakesher fingers through her hair, very clearly agitated. “You can’t be here. It’s too much. I can’t have another man in the house like this, and her teacher as well. It will freak Ella out and people will talk…”

“Oh, right.” Her actions are too much. It’s too early in the morning for me to figure out what’s going on here. I slide myself out of the bed, knowing that Georgia wants me gone and that’s the main thing. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

I get dressed as fast as I can, but it’s hard to find my clothing. I guess we were in a bit of a hurry to get one another naked last night. But I can’t seem to get dressed quickly enough for Georgia. She’s in a right mess.

“We need to… to sort this out. Oh, my God, this is such a mess, isn’t it? This is such a nightmare…”

“It will be fine.” I attempt to calm her down, but she glares at me. I don’t think that my advice is wanted, so I snap my lips together rapidly. This is nothing like the Georgia I got last night. It scares me because I can’t help but worry whether she regrets last night or not. Of course, she seemed really into it at the time, but in the heat of the moment, she might have acted on impulse and not really thought about it… but this isn’t how things are supposed to go. I thought that we were reconnecting once more. I thought that things were going to go well…

She isn’t married anymore, and I don’t have anyone special in my life. There isn’t anything holding us back. I know this might be a little bit weird, but it doesn’t need to create this much animosity between us, does it?

Oh, God, maybe I’m reading things wrong. Perhaps I’m seeing what I want to see and I’m about to be crushed all overagain. This is what Matthew and my mother tried to warn me against and I’ve been too dumb to see that. My heart clenches in my chest. It feels constricted and painful. I can feel myself crumbling and falling apart.

“This isn’t going to be messy.” Somehow, through everything, I find the right words to say. “I promise you.”

“You sure?” Oh, God, poor Georgia. Here I am worrying about myself and what this means for me, and she’s an emotional wreck. This is upsetting her. I need to be more respectful of what she wants. She’s a mother now, after all.

“I’m sure. Trust me. Everything is going to work out fine.” I smile reassuringly. “I promise.”

We both get ourselves dressed and respectful in a matter of minutes, finding it easier with less stress surrounding us, and then I know it’s time for me to go. I don’t want to leave, but then I’m always scared of walking away from her in case I never see her again. But I need to remain calm and remember the truth. She’s here now, to stay.

“Right, I am going to get out of your hair.” I reach out to touch her, but she shocks me by stepping back. Oh, God, now she doesn’t want me anywhere near her. This is really hard! “I will see you later, then.”

She walks me to the door, making no attempt to hide how she’s feeling. She really needs me gone so that she can get back to her real life. Her life that definitely doesn’t involve me as much as I want it to.

“Do you want to talk about meeting again or exchanging phone numbers?” I pull out my cell phone, but she shakes her head. Ithink it’s because she’s in a hurry, though. “Oh, right, okay. We’ll talk about it later.”

I almost try to kiss her but decide against it at the last minute. That isn’t going to go well, is it? So, instead, I say goodbye and creep away. I don’t go too far, though, and I’m not quite sure why. I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I guess I see it when I spot Josie’s mother bringing Ella back to the house. I don’t know if I thought that she was lying or anything, but at least I can confirm now that she wasn’t just making an excuse. She didn’t just want to get rid of me because she didn’t want me around. It’s because of the complications around her. Complications that I assume come from her daughter and hopefully not from this ex-husband of hers. We haven’t really talked about him much, but what she’s said about him has been negative. I assume that she’s over him, but maybe not…

We need to do some talking,I tell myself firmly.We can’t move forward without being open and honest.

It’s true. Georgia and I do lose our heads around one another. We can’t seem to sort ourselves out for long enough for us to talk properly about everything. We’re still kinda like teens in that respect. But we aren’t teenagers anymore. We’re adults, and we need to be so much smarter about this. I mean, what I said before about teachers not really being supposed to date parents is true, so I need to make sure that it doesn’t get explosive.

“This is a small town,” I mutter to myself. “Peoplewilltalk. How the hell are we going to do this?”

I walk all the way to my car, forgetting about the groceries until I see them on the back seat. I don’t know how many of them have survived, but I do know that they aren’t all mine. I’m going to have to face Georgia again to get them to her. After all, shebought these last night for a reason, and she probably really needs them.

“Shit.” She isn’t going to be happy. I will have to make sure that Josie’s mother is nowhere to be found. “Fuck!”

Talk about making things more complex than they need to be. This is probably what Georgia has been fearing. But I don’t have a choice. I’m going to have to do this. Maybe it will give me a clue as to how she’s feeling.

I’m nervous on the drive. My heart is pounding at the speed of light as I go. My palms are sweating and my breaths are short, sharp, and labored. My head is spinning rapidly. I can hardly keep steady. By the time I’m at Georgia’s home, glancing around like a crazy stalker to see if anyone is around, I’m in a state.

It’s even worse as I grab the shopping bags and half-run down her path to get to her door. I feel like I’m breaking the freaking law as I bang on the door to give over the bags. The door swings open rapidly as I can see the fear of being caught in Georgia’s eyes too. Shereallydoesn’t want us to be seen together. By anyone.

“Sorry, it’s your bags,” I whisper as I hand them over. Guilt grips me, and all I can worry about is the mistake I made. I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have brought these bags. That was dumb of me. “I thought you might need them or something. Sorry, shall I get out of here? I don’t know what to do right now.”

She smiles and takes them from me but doesn’t really say anything. She doesn’t give me a clue as to whether this is the right thing for me to do or not, and it’s only a second before the door closes on me again. It slams in front of me and leavesme cold and alone, with nothing but a weird terror zigzagging through my body.

“Okay, well that’s that.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to act blasé even though no one is looking at me, and I head back to the car. I’m deflated now as I start driving once more. I feel like all of the air has been zapped from my body and there isn’t anything left. Nothing but numbness as I try to figure out where she and I are.

“It’s okay,” I try to convince myself as I make my way home. “It’s going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

I know that I won’t see anyone today. I won’t go to visit my mom or Matthew because it’ll be all over my face, I’m sure. They will then be able to say ‘I told you so’, and I just can’t hear that. Not right now.

I have to remember that it really might be okay. Maybe once we’ve had a little bit of space, Georgia will realize that she does want me and that we need to find a way to make it work. It’s going to be a shock at first, isn’t it? It’s going to take some adjustment. For her. I don’t need any time because I really just think that this is fate bringing us back to where we were always meant to be. For me, it just feels right for us to be back together. Last night was the best night of my whole life, and not just the sex—although that was mind-blowing—but spending time with her, talking and having the most incredible time ever. No one has evergotme like Georgia has. No one makes me laugh, makes me smile, makes me feel as joyful as her. She has always been the one for me. Always.

Maybe it’s just ironic that I’ve been forced away from her without her phone number again. A little reminder of the past, a moment to make me know how easy it is to lose her… not that it’s any issue for me. I will never forget what it feels like to try andlive life without Georgia. It’s agonizing, painful, empty. I don’t need this reminder.

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