Page 43 of Blind Sin

“Actually, I just wanted the excuse to hold you,” I whisper, in case Lucy can hear me over the hum of the engines. I’ve already been pushing the boundaries of what I can get away with in front of her. The urge to confess that I’ve slept with both Nolan and Alexander is massive, but at the same time, I need this secret. I need it locked up in my heart, a piece of me that belongs to me alone. Okay, to Nolan an Alexander too, but I know they won’t let slip.

“However much I love a dirty little secret, my Sinful, you’re going to have to tell her at some point.”

Nolan extracts himself from my grip, but then I feel his arm around my back, pulling me into him. He hooks a finger under my chin, angling my face towards him, then, without any warning, he kisses me harshly. I pull back, or try to pull back, terrified that Lucinda will see, but he’s brought his hand up to my head, holding me in place. The kiss is hard, frenzied even, but then he softens his pace and it’s not his hand holding me in place, but the kiss itself. I’ve not kissed Nolan before and I didn’t expect it to be so sensual.

“Shit!” I pull back as I come to my senses then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Actually, I thought it was pretty good, Nolan chuckles. “Eight out of ten.”

I nudge him in the side. “Lucinda will be down any second,” I hiss out.

Its ok him playing fast and free with all this, but its Lucinda who’s going to get hurt when she finds out I’ve been lying to her.

“I thought this might be a good way to make it clear who you belong to, Sinful. I mean, there was no mistaking how hot that was.

“I’m scared that it will hurt her,” I admit. “You’ve seen how protective she is of me. It was always just the two of us. I don’t think either of us expected...” I trail off, not sure how to finish the sentence. ‘Fall in love’ is too much, but I don’t exactly know how to define what I feel for the three of them. Well, Nolan and Alexander at least. Josh is another matter entirely, and probably the one where my feelings are the most complicated. I thought I was in love with him a long time ago, but now I realize that he was practically a fictional character, brought to life by Lucy’s stories of him. The real Joshua Nix isn’t the savior and answer to my dreams that my fifteen-year-old self thought he was. But this, Nolan holding me, is real.

“You didn’t expect to get yourself entangled with a couple of reprobates?” Nolan finishes my sentence, taking me from my thoughts.

“What was that?”

Startled by Lucinda's voice over the engines, I jump and pull back from Nolan.

“I was just saying that I think that Dacre parents should redecorate,” Nolan lies smoothly.

“I like the house the way it is,” Lucinda says sitting next to me.

“How did things go with Nix this afternoon?” Nolan asks and I hear a long sigh escape her lips. I want to know too, but I’ve been too afraid to ask. I listened at the door when they were arguing earlier, but their voices were muffled.

“I hurt him a lot.”

“He’ll get over it. I mean it’s only been a week and already he’s come out of his cave. Maybe in the next century he’ll stay out of it for more than five minutes?”

Lucinda laughs and I feel the tension in her ebbing away. The journey from the island isn’t a long one and I’m disappointed when Lucinda suggests going straight to the doctor.

“I called ahead,” Alexander says smoothly, sidling up to us on the dock. “They aren’t expecting us for half an hour. I’d like to take you somewhere that I think you’ll all like.”

There's a brief pause before Lucinda responds, her voice laced with concern. “I don’t want Lauren around too many people,” she says. “Not until we’re sure that she’ll be safe.”

Alexander takes a moment, his breath audible in a thoughtful sigh. “She has a mask on,” he says, his voice steadier and directed towards Lucinda. “We need to pass through there to get to the doctor, anyway.”

Lucinda seems to relent as a pair of fingers thread through mine. It takes me a few moments to figure out its Alexander holding my hand, urging me forward. I reach out back with my other hand to grab Lucinda. This time I recognize her fingers straight away. I press my thumb into her palm three times.

“This is a market,” Alexander informs me, “but there’s something special about it.”

“I don’t see it,” Lucy huffs, but then her hand leaves my grip as though it’s snatched away.

A few seconds later, Alexander leans into me. “Inhale, baby.”

I do as he instructs and my nostrils are filled with the most amazing scents. “The market has a spice row. All of the stalls here sell spices. I thought you’d like to experience something new.”

“It smells amazing,” I say, trying to distinguish one scent from another. I turn to my side. “Lucy. Isn’t this wonderful?”

“She’s not there. Mercier took her to show her vegetables.”

“She’s not?”

“She’s currently being shown the difference between one long green vegetable and another long green vegetable that looks exactly the same by Mercier. Strangely she doesn’t look bored to tears.”

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