Page 17 of Blind Sin

I shake my head. “After that stunt, I doubt you’ll get within ten feet of her again, but by all means do what you want. What with you bringing those, and Nix being the miserable git he is, I’m the only one who’ll Lucinda will trust. And if Lucinda trusts me then...” I let the thought trail off.

I've fucked more women that I can count, but Lauren is the only one that’s gotten under my skin.” I shift my gaze out of the window to the two sisters walking on the beach. I can see why some men like their women submissive and Lauren is as submissive as they get thanks to the shitty way she’s been brought up, but it wasn’t her submissiveness that hooked me, it was her fighting against it. She’s regressed back into her shell since her sister appeared on the scene, but underneath that shy exterior, the girl has fire running through her veins.

Mercier shakes the box in front of my face. “I’ll put them in the top drawer in the main bathroom for all the fucking you’ll be doing then,” he says with a smirk, before leaving me alone in the kitchen.

10

LUCINDA

Idon’t trust Dacre or Mercier one iota, but for whatever reason, Lauren is protecting them, which must mean either they did nothing to hurt her or they did and still have a threat over her. They appeared nice enough through dinner and it’s really hard not to notice how easy on the eye they are, but I’ve known men like these. Nice hides predatory, and there’s no way they rescued us out of the kindness of their hearts. The first time they took Lauren, I can understand. There was a ransom and Nix was behind it all, fuelled by his grudge against me. He still seems to hold that grudge, judging by his disappearance not long after we arrived and his absence since then. I believed I had moved on from him a long time ago. Everyone has a first love and most of the time they either remember it fondly or it ends up in a messy break up. With Nix and I, circumstances wrenched us apart. I don’t want to dwell on it ever again, but his loathing of me, even after I told him the truth, is something that still hurts. I don’t love him anymore. At least I didn’t. I don’t even know how to process how I feel, except I don’t like this situation we’re in. We’re in paradise, something I’ve always dreamed of, but now I’m here, I feel uneasy. There’s something going on between the men that they’ve not made me aware of. Some tension. I could be making more out of it than it is. We’re all tense. Every single one of us is at risk, and it’s only a matter of time until that risk comes to fruition. My father will find us and when he does, there will be no punishment more severe. I made it very clear to them that getting on a boat and sailing to a private island will only hide us for so long. He already knows we were in Alexander’s Parents’ apartment in Manhattan. It’s hardly a stretch to think he’ll figure out that we’ve tried the same trick twice, albeit further afield.

I slip out of my dress, the soft fabric pooling at my feet, and look at myself in the mirror. Years of abuse has left its toll and the bruises I suffered at the hands of my father after he found Lauren and I are still visible. My body is like a patchwork quilt of color. Earlier when I took Lauren out to the sea, I kept myself covered, wearing long leggings and a long-sleeved top, a trick I learned a long time ago to stop people asking questions. Before modeling assignments, my father made sure to lay his hands off me, but in between the times I was taking my clothes off for photographers and movie directors, I was my father’s punching bag. I wrap a towel around myself and head to the bathroom I share with Lauren. I knock gently, hoping for a response. When none comes, I take a deep breath and push the door open. The light flickers on, casting a warm glow across the small space. Even though nothing is out of place a sense of panic has me bolting to the door to Lauren’s bedroom. I pause, my hand hovering over the doorknob. I know I’m being ridiculous. Lauren needs her space and yet I can’t get over the feeling someone has taken her from her room. Instead of rushing in, I swallow back my fear and knock softly instead. I let out a long breath as she answers.

“Yes?”

My head drops to the door in relief. “It’s only me. Just letting you know I’m taking a shower.”

“I was in bed. Night Lucy.”

“Night,” I whisper, feeling insane. The silence is heavy, and I can hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I turn and glance at myself in the mirror, taking in my tousled hair and tired eyes. The day has been a whirlwind, and I can feel the exhaustion creeping in. I’m making up scenarios in my head, frightening myself, but as I step under the shower I honestly can’t decide if I was more worried that I’d find Lauren gone or Nix, or one of the others with her.

I let the water cascade and try to enjoy the hot water, but I’m too strung out. I wash the salt from my hair quickly then wrap it in another fluffy towel and step into my room. The only sound is the waves, and yet, even that feels malevolent. Lauren honestly thought it was going to carry her away today. In some ways, I hoped it would carry us both away.

I’m caught up in my thoughts when I hear a noise outside my door. My heart begins to pound again. I need to pull my shit together. I can’t spend the next few weeks jumping at every sound. It’s probably just one of the guys heading to bed. I creep over to the door and listen. Someone is there on the other side and whoever it is isn’t walking past. I can hear their breathing. Despite the pounding in my ears, I refuse to be scared any longer. I pull the door open quickly. Josh is standing there.

His eyes rake up and down my body, and I suddenly become aware that I'm still wearing only a towel. As a model, I'm used to walking around backstage in a lot less than this, so I'm not self-conscious about my appearance. But something dark in Joshua's eyes makes me feel exposed and vulnerable.

For a moment, there's silence between us, and I can feel the tension mounting. Then, without warning, Joshua steps closer to me, invading my personal space. His eyes drop down to the towel and too late, I realize, the bruises on my chest must be visible.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asks, but he already knows. Anger shows in his eyes, but underneath it I see the boy I used to know. “I’ll murder the bastard.” He reaches out to touch the bruised skin but I bat his hand away.

“What the hell, Joshua?” I hiss, my voice low and dangerous. I don’t want to dredge up my past and I don’t need Nix caring about me. “What are you doing here?”

His expression is inscrutable, and I can't tell what he's thinking. There’s a dark beauty to him, that if it was anyone else, I wouldn’t be able to resist. Every man I’ve chosen to sleep with has been someone that reminded me of Josh in some way. A haircut, a mannerism. Every consensual sexual act has been the first time that never happened with Josh. Not one man came close to him and now he’s here and looking at me through eyes of pure anger.

“Not a damn thing.”

His anger is palpable and I know I’ve done nothing to cause it. This is his own dark shit.

“You were loitering outside my door. It’s obviously not nothing.” I stand my ground, but I feel the tension between us rising. I wish he’d just tell me whatever it is that’s obviously going on in his mind and then get the fuck away. Just looking at him has a myriad of long lost emotions bubbling to the surface. Emotions that I don’t want to feel anymore. Ones I packed away for a reason.

He steps forward and I get a flashback to when we were younger. Back then he never looked like this. He never scared me, but now there’s danger in his eyes. “Why doesn’t it bother you that I fucked Lauren?”

“Of course I care, but I can’t change the past.” I let out a long breath to stem the pain. “What do you want, Joshua? Absolution? Jealousy? I take a step toward him and look directly into his dark eyes. “Or do you want my permission to do it again?”

His hand reaches for my throat and strangely my fear drops. This is what I know. Anger seeps into the cracks. We stare at each other for a beat too long but I refuse to be the one to back down. I feel his fingers tight around my neck, but not squeezing enough to restrict my airflow. If he’s trying to insert his masculine crap onto me and I’m not having it. I’ve spent the last part of my life around so called alpha males who like to think they have the control. I’m not going to let Josh be another one of them.

“You don’t get to give me permission, Sin,” he spits out. “If I want something, I take it.”

All the times I wondered about Josh after he left, I never thought he’d turn out like this. It’s frightening to see what’s happened to him and it’s more frightening to know it’s me who he blames.

I push his hand away from my throat. I expect some resistance, but despite the muscle ticking in his forearm, he doesn’t push back. “Let me get one thing straight with you. I’ve lived my entire life with someone much more evil and much scarier than you. I’ve learned to deal with shit that would make your eyes water and your stomach churn. You are the last person on earth I thought I’d have to take this shit from and I won’t. You will not touch a hair on Lauren’s head and if you do, so help me god, I will gut you.”

I don’t slam the door, because I can’t bear Lauren knowing about this, but I close it abruptly enough to get the message through. Once the door is closed, I lock it with a resounding click. For a moment, I stand there, my hand still on the doorknob, trying to steady my breathing.

When I hear his footsteps receding down the hallway, I crumple to the floor, my back against the door. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back fiercely. I can’t let another man into my life who think he can take whatever he wants.

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