Page 18 of Blind Sin

I get up and get into bed, playing back everything that’s just happened. I gave Josh three reasons why he might have told me about taking Lauren’s virginity but I left the real reason out. He told me because he wanted to hurt me. He wanted to hurt me the way I hurt him all those years ago and he’s using Lauren to do it.

11

NIX

Iwalk away, more angry than ever. She should be down on her knees, begging with gratitude for everything we’ve done for her. And while she’s down there, she could suck my cock. It’s been a long time coming. I’m half tempted to turn around and fucking make her, but she’s probably already locked the door and while having Luce suck my cock might make me feel better now, it will fuck everything up. She was right back on the boat and she was right just then. I need to stay away from Lauren. Not because Luce fucking demands I should, but because I need to get my head straight. Going to see Luce was a mistake. I trudge back to the staff quarters, where I’ve decided to stay until we get off this god-forsaken island. Let Dacre and Mercier try to dip their wick. They have no chance of getting past Luce. She’s like a pit-bull with a bone that she’s not willing to give up. I log into my college email and check the work that’s come through. Dacre is a fucking miracle worker making it so we can still do our work from here, but as I look at the email from my tutor, I know I won’t be able to concentrate. My body is way too hopped up to sit still. I pull off my clothes and head out to the swimming pool. Someone has been coming to the island to keep it clean, which in another source of worry. I’ll have to let Dacre know so he can cancel his parent’s lackeys.

My blood is still boiling as I dive in, completely naked to the deep end. I hold my breath as long as I can, swimming underwater to the shallow end of the pool. With my eyes closed, I picture Luce’s body as she hastily tried to hide the bruises on her chest. What else is she trying to hide from me? After all these years, she still can’t trust me enough to tell me her father beat her. He beat her then, and he’s still beating her now. I’ve never felt sheer anger like it. When my lungs start to strain, I come up and pull in a deep breath before going under again. I swim a hundred laps in all and still I can’t get the image of that bastard touching her, hurting her out of my mind. It’s like a curse or a virus that my body doesn’t have the immunity to. And now it’s magnified by her sister coming into my life. Her sister, who their father abused far worse than Luce. I pull myself out of the pool as I think of sweet innocent Lauren who I treated like shit. And I did treat her like shit because I thought she was her sister. I thought she was Luce and I thought I hated her and all the time I raged at her, she took it. She took everything I threw at her and still let me take her virginity.

“Fuck!” I heave out. No wonder Luce thinks I’m a monster. I can concentrate all the anger I like at Peter Waldgrave, but I’m no better than he is. I just don’t leave bruises. I think about the way Luce looked at me as I grabbed her neck earlier and I realize that’s not even true. I leave bruises and not always the visible kind.

A noise has my eyes darting to the main house. I quickly pull a towel to cover myself. The last thing I need is Luce calling me a pervert for swimming naked, but as I scan the house, squinting my eyes against the darkness, it’s Lauren’s eyes I see watching me from her window.

Not watching me.

She can hear something. No doubt my muttered “fuck” a few minutes ago. I sit silently wondering what she’s thinking. Wondering if she thinks I’m the monster her sister obviously does. She blindly gazes out for a few more minutes and I realize she’s enjoying the breeze through the open window. She’s fully dressed in some pajamas, but it feels voyeuristic watching her when she doesn’t know I’m here. I don’t want to add voyeur to my list of shitty life decisions so I silently pick up my towel and walk back to my room.

Ten minutes later, there's a knock on my door. For a split second, I entertain the insane hope that it's her – I don't even know which “her” I want it to be, but as I pull the door back, it's Dacre.

“Brought you dinner. It’s cold but you can microwave it in the staff kitchen. He thrusts the plate into my hands and heads into my room.

“Why the fuck are you staying here?”He looks around the room as though I’ve opted to sleep in a pig sty and not one of the staff’s bedrooms.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” I point out as I sit on the bed and start eating the meal.

“The main house has ten bedrooms.”

I ignore him as I eat. The meal is delicious even cold. I recognize it as one of Mercier’s signature dishes.

A muscle tics in his jaw as he sits in the bed. “You planning on hiding out here the whole time we’re on this island?”

“I’m not hiding,” I lie. “I just don’t want to be around to witness yours and Mercier’s pathetic attempts to get into Lauren’s pants.

“I don’t think you need to worry about that. Mercier bought some condoms and left them out where Lucinda could find them.”

“Fucking moron,” I smirk. “I saw him drop something into one of the bags at the store.”

“Yeah, well she wasn’t best pleased. She practically dragged Lauren from the house on the pretence of going for a walk and when they came back they both went straight to their rooms. I’ve not seen either of them since.”

I don’t admit to seeing both of them. I don’t want to think about the encounter with Luce and the image of Lauren enjoying the breeze feels like a secret I don’t want to share. I can’t deny that knowing Mercier and Dacre won’t be able to touch her makes me feel better. I’ve had images of all four of them fucking each other senseless plaguing me since we first set foot on the island. Despite what Mercier wants, I’m not sure if sharing Lauren is in any of our best interests. At least that’s something Luce and I are on the same page for.

“It’s probably for the best,” I mutter between mouthfuls. “We don’t need the distraction.”

Dacre gives me a strange look. “Distraction? Are you still telling yourself you don’t want her?”

“I don’t want Luce!” I say a little too quickly.

“Luce?” Dacre stands up from the bed. “I was talking about Lauren. Jesus fuck. You really are fucked in the head.”

“No shit,” I grumble as I take the last bite of the meal. “The pool’s clean.”

Dacre looks confused at the abrupt change in subject. “What?”

“The swimming pool. I just went for a swim. It’s clean. Someone is coming here and cleaning it. Probably daily. There wasn’t a lot of leaves floating on it.”

“Shit!” Dacre skates his hands through his hair. “Fuck! I didn’t think there’d be any staff here. My parents usually bring them all in a week before they arrive. I don’t have their phone numbers.” He spins around looking as panicked as he usually does whenever his parents are mentioned. “I’ll head out to the mainland first thing tomorrow morning and stop them. That woman at the marina might know who it is.”

The same woman that you thought was looking at you funny?” I ask. “I’ll go.”

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