Page 142 of Afflicted

“Yes, leave.”

Sutton sighs, leaning back in her chair which creaks with the shift in her weight. “And where exactly do you think you’re going to go?”

“Am I a prisoner here?”

She shakes her head emphatically. “Of course not.”

“Great, so could you ask them to open the gates please?”

Sutton gets to her feet, rounding the desk to lean on the side closest to me. “Look, I understand that yesterday was an emotional day for you. That vampire obviously means a lot to you.”

“He does.” My voice wavers, and I clench my teeth together to stop myself bursting into tears again. “And I’d like to go and find him.”

“Juliet, listen. I get it, OK?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “We’ve all lost a lot here. I lost my husband and my son. I understand you, I do. And I didn’t stop him from staying here to be cruel.”

“I know, I get it. But that doesn't change anything. I want to go and find him.”

“And what if you don’t?”

I shrug. “Then something else will and either way I won’t be your problem anymore.”

“You are not a problem.” Sutton sighs heavily, running a hand over her short curly hair. “I promised him you’d be safe here. What’s he going to think if he comes back here and you’re gone? And we never know what happened to you?”

“I need to go and find him.” I know she’s right. This is dumb.

“But you’re safe here.”

“I was safe in Georgia, too!” I catch myself as my voice rises, breaking against the rawness of my throat. “I was safe there, locked up, for five years. I’d have been safe in Charleston too, as much as any of us can be in this fucked up world. But I don’t want to be safe for the rest of my life if it’s not with him.”

“So, you’d rather die out there with him?”

“Sure, if that’s what being with him means. What else do I have to live for?”

“You have yourself to live for.”

This is stupid and toxic and what a therapist would call codependency. But I push that thought away. “He saved me. He was there for me when no one else was. He killed for me. He protected me with his life, he loved me even though it could have gotten him killed. I’m not leaving him out there alone.”

Sutton pushes off the desk and moves towards me, stopping short, lifting her hands as though to touch me then letting them fall. “Juliet, listen to me. Your pain, it’s raw, and new, and you’re not thinking straight.”

“Can I please go now?”

“What if he’s gone? He could be miles away by now.” Sutton’s face starts to sag with defeat. “Juliet, you can have a life here, and that’s what he wanted you to have.”

I take a deep breath. She’s right, I know she is. And Silas would be telling me all this himself if he were here. But I don’t care.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, I’ve lived the life other people have wanted me to live for a long time now. I’m done with that. I want to live the lifeIwant, and if that’s short because I’m stupid, then that’s on me. But at least I made that choice for myself.”

Sutton exhales heavily, running a hand over her face. “Well, when you put it like that…” She trails off, looking up at me with narrowed eyes. “Michael!”

The man who escorted me appears in the doorway a moment later. “Yeah?”

“Can you organize a pack please?” Sutton says, looking down at my feet. “And go see about some proper boots. She can’t walk in these flimsy shoes.”

Michael disappears quickly.

“You don’t need to do that,” I say to Sutton. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“No I don’t, but I do owe something to myself, and my integrity matters to me.” She walks to a filing cabinet in the corner, unlocking it and pulling open a drawer with a loud scrape. She withdraws a handgun, inspecting it for a second before walking back to me. “Do you know how to use one of these?”

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