Page 143 of Afflicted

“Yeah, my dad was a cop, he said we had to learn how to use one responsibly.”

“Good.” She hands me the weapon. “I can’t spare many bullets, just what's in there. But I won’t send you out there unarmed.”

“Thank you.” I clasp the gun in my hands, which suddenly feel cold. “I appreciate it.”

“And if you don’t find him, come back.” Sutton’s mouth lifts into a wavering smile. “Don’t think you’re not welcome back here. I could use someone like you here.”

I snort. “Stupid and irresponsible?”

“No.” She shakes her head, her eyes softening for a moment. “Passionate and driven. It’s easy to lose that in a world like this, where we’re just surviving all the time.”

I swallow hard. “Thank you.”

Michael reappears with a black backpack, a pair of boots and thick navy blue puffer jacket. “The boots will probably be a little big, but they’ll do better than those things.”

“Thanks.” I take a seat, kicking off the thin flat shoes I’d been issued at the compound, and pull on the thick socks and hiking boots. They’re a little big, but the socks help. I get back to my feet, shrugging on the jacket before hoisting the pack onto my shoulders.

Sutton and Michael lead the way out of the office, and with every step I feel more and more ridiculous. I’m a fool. This is so stupid.

But by the time we reach the gate, my resolve returns. I refuse to believe that Silas is miles away. He’s nearby. He hasn’t left me. He wouldn’t have done that.

Or maybe he’s not as dumb as me, and he actually has a sense of self-preservation.

Sutton turns to me, and smiles warmly. “I meant what I said. If you don’t find him, you get yourself back here.”

“OK.” My stomach is a churning knot of ice.

“And if I was him, I would have headed north, further from Georgia.” She gestures to her left. “That way. Follow the main road out of town. Be careful in the forests, there’s marauders every now and then.”

“OK.” I’ve lost the ability to say anything but that word. I jump as the gate starts to groan, rolling open slowly.

Sutton must sense my fear, because she puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Be safe. I hope you find him.”

“Thanks.”

“And remember - you can come back, anytime.” Her hand drops from my shoulder, and she takes a step back.

“OK.”

I turn away from her, and walk through the gate. The guards above me look down at me, probably thinking what a goddamn idiot I am. Finally I’m on the other side, out on the road, the last place I saw Silas, the last place he held me. The gate rolls shut behind me, and then I’m alone.

For a split second my resolve nearly falters, and I want to turn and slam my fists against the gate, beg them to let me back in where it’s safe. Panic rises through me, rushing into my lungs and squashing all the oxygen out of me. I lean on my knees, rasping in deep steady breaths. I’m not going to panic, I’m not going to lose it.

I can do this. I can find him. He’s close by. He won’t have gone far away from me.

I force my feet to move, even though they’re weighted to the ground by fear. One step, one more, and another, and before I know it, I’m out of sight of the gate. A few more minutes and I turn a corner, out onto a wide open road that stretches in front of me along a line of collapsed buildings.

The sun’s beating down on me as I keep walking, and despite the cool breeze, within a few minutes sweat is running down my back. The backpack is heavy, and hurts my shoulders a little. My feet are sweltering in these boots, but at least they don’t hurt. I hope I can run if I need to.

After an hour, the city has started to fall away, the road widening and rising to pass the forest that runs alongside it. I notice for the first time the mountains on the horizon. The land around the compound was so flat, and I pause for a moment to admire my surroundings. If I look past the ruined buildings, it’s actually really pretty around here.

I take the pack from my shoulders, opening it to find a huge bottle of water, some packed food, some silver foil packets that remind me of army rations, and a first aid kit. I take some careful sips of water, not wanting to waste it. Is that a stupid thought to have when I don’t even know how long I’ll survive out here?

I look over my shoulder, back the way I came, and I’m sure I could find my way back to the colony. But how far do I go before I give up?Give up. My shoulders sag a little as I think about the day before. Silas gave up. He just left me here. Maybe he’s far away, maybe he realized he didn’t want to be with me after all.

I inhale sharply and straighten up. I’m being ridiculous. Silas just wanted the best for me, that was all. He thought he was saving me, he just wanted to see me be safe. It has nothing to do with him not wanting me. I can’t help the tear that runs down my cheek, catching the cool breeze. The temperature is dropping and I hope to god it doesn’t snow.

I push on along the abandoned highway, taking steps over large cracks in the asphalt, vines snaking along the ground. Nature started taking this place back a long time ago.

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