Page 120 of Fallen Stars

“Great.” I cross my legs at the ankles. “Dusting off the cogs a bit, but it’s nice to be back and have a sense of purpose.”

“What about the workload?”

Here is where the restrictions come into play. LimitationsIput in place.

“Minimal.” A sardonic huff leaves my lips. “But that’s my doing.”

“We haven’t talked much about your schedule from before. By your reaction, I assume this is not what you’re used to.” She scribbles notes on the pad.

I shove my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie—Oliver’s hoodie—and clamp my fingers painfully. “Not at all. Most of my workdays were ten to twelve hours long. Depending on the project, sometimes I’d work from home after I left the office.” I shrug and purse my lips. “I love what I do.”

A soft smile tips up the corners of her mouth. “It doesn’t always feel like work when we love what we do.”

“Exactly.”

“Does work feel different now?”

“A little.” I shift my attention to the window and stare at the evergreens lining the bay. “I still love it.”

I pause, but Dr. Hampton doesn’t push me to continue. Instead, she lets me decide when to speak and how much to say. The backs of my eyes sting as I consider my next words.

“After what happened, parts of the job seem trivial.”

“How so?”

With Dr. Hampton’s expertise, I’ve been able to process what happened without guilt or shame. She has taught me how to find the smallest shred of positivity in each moment as we work through my experience. Every time I have a nightmare or flashback, I follow one of several mental exercises she has taught me. Rather than surrender my energy to the horrors I lived through, I channel my attention on what and who is important.I breathe through the dark memories, tell myself they are in the past, and remind myself I am safe and home now. Then, I focus on something positive in my life. It’s not a slow process, and I do my best not to rush it.

Some days, the exercises work. Other times, the images are too vivid, too front of mind, too gruesome to forget.

Oliver has been my rock and guiding light through everything. When a panic attack or nightmare surfaces, he centers me with softly spoken words and gentle touches. A simple reminder he is by my side. But as we attempt to move forward, our lives ease back into our former routines. Which means it is impossible to spend all hours of the day together.

Thankfully, the other solid friendship I have is with my business partner. Tymber is more like a brother than a colleague, and I’m fortunate to have met him years ago. Like Oliver, Tymber gives me freedom to breathe and make my own decisions. But when I need extra support, he steps up without hesitation.

After a nightmare or flashback, I see the world through a different lens. Frivolous activities and situations no longer hold the same weight they once did. And that perspective has bled into every facet of my life, including work.

“I work at one of the top up-and-coming security and investigative companies in the Northwest.” I scoff. “Because of me, one of the biggest known human trafficking rings was shut down.” Tipping my head back, I stare at the ceiling and take a deep breath. “Chasing potentially unfaithful spouses seems like a foolish waste of time and resources now.” I level my gaze and roll my lips between my teeth. “But I’m also terrified to work on a case as heavy as my last.”

Dr. Hampton jots notes on her pad. Eyes narrowed and lips bunched, her expression turns curious. “I’m unfamiliar with thelogistics of your company, but is it possible foryouto specialize in an area of security or investigations?”

My vision blurs a moment as I tilt my head left then right. “It’s never been brought up before, but I suppose it’s possible. Why?”

Gathering the pad and pen, she sets them on the table beside her chair and clasps her hands in her lap. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that everyone heals differently and in their own time. We’ve been working together close to two months and your progress has been remarkable.”

When Dr. Hampton remains silent a moment, I say, “But…”

A kind smile lights her expression. “I think you would truly benefit from working on cases where you reunite people rather than unearth a scandal.”

I mull over the idea. Abductions aren’t something I’m quite ready to handle yet, but Dr. Hampton probably has a different concept in mind. “I like the idea, but kidnappings are… off the table. For now.”

Her eyes soften. “It may be years before you’re comfortable with darker cases, and that’s normal. I’d anticipate nothing less. I was thinking more along the lines of helping a loved one find someone they haven’t seen or spoken to in years due to a discord between other family members.” She sits straighter and crosses one leg over the other. “It would fulfill your desire to help others, as well as make a positive impact—for them and you.”

I repeat her words in my head over and over. The idea has merit; the more I consider it, the more a new warmth blooms in my chest. A mixture of intuition and passion. Of purpose and courage. Now that it’s out in the open, I’d be a fool to ignore it.

“I’ll talk it over with Tymber.” I nod.

“Wonderful.” She reaches for her pen and paper. “Let’s discuss more personal topics now.”

I pull my hands from the hoodie pocket and stuff them beneath my thighs.

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