Page 127 of The Mercy Chair

‘Because when you saw it, you knew everything in those videos was true.’

‘Not just that.’

‘Oh?’

‘I say this knowing full well I’m in a secure hospital talking to a therapist.’

‘What is it, Washington?’

‘I saw her, Doctor Lang,’ Poe said, wringing his hands, his voice barely above a whisper.

‘Who?’

‘Bethany Bowman. I mean, I know she wasn’t actually there, but I swear for a moment she was. I could see the terrified fourteen-year-old as clearly as if I’d been standing next to her when she died.’

‘You had a visual hallucination?’

‘If that’s what it’s called.’

‘It’s trauma-based memory,’ she said. ‘Almost certainly the first external manifestation of your PTSD. It also explains why you had such a strong reaction to Joshua Meade’s “regrettable” comment. At that point, I doubt you were even aware of your actions. Luckily Superintendent Nightingale recognised this and took precautions.’

‘I know that now.’

Doctor Lang nodded. ‘Because if those police officers hadn’t been there, I think you might have killed Joshua Meade.’

‘He dismissed Bethany’s murder as nothing more than bad PR,’ Poe said. ‘Something he’d have to manage. And he didn’t care at all about the five gay men Cornelius had abducted and killed.’

‘I need you not to dwell on this. Not now, not ever. Life is full of regrets for things wehavedone, Washington. Worrying about things we might have done, but didn’t, is a first-class ticket to this place.’

‘That’s easier said than done.’

‘It is. It’s also why you’re here talking to me instead of sitting under a viaduct with a bottle of turps.’ She smiled. ‘What happened next?’

‘Superintendent Nightingale escorted me outside. Ordered me to go home.’

‘And did you?’

‘I did not,’ Poe said. ‘I went to see Eve. I went to tell her we’d got it the wrong way round. That Bethany hadn’t killed her brother; it was her brother who had killed Bethany.’

‘What time was it?’

‘About six in the morning. It was just getting light and I knew Eve rose early to do her yoga.’

‘Was that a wise thing to do?’

‘I felt I owed it to Bethany,’ Poe explained. ‘And it wouldn’t have been long before the press got hold of it. At the end of the day, Eve didn’t deserve to get ambushed. But, given what happened next, I’d have to say all things considered, it wasnota wise thing to do.’

Chapter 112

Poe’s phone rang five minutes after he had joined the M6. Bradshaw had wanted to drive him home but he assured her he was fine. He squinted at the car’s onboard display. It was Superintendent Nightingale. He wondered if Joshua had already made a complaint. He considered ignoring it, but he had too much respect for her to hide away from bad news. He accepted the call just as the sun crested the skyline. Visibility immediately went from full to zero as the low sun beamed into the car like the ‘punter blinders’, the harsh lights a band aim at the crowd during a rock concert. All he could see was a filthy windscreen, smeared with grime and welded with bug entrails. He reached for his sunglasses but dropped them in the footwell.

‘Damn,’ he said.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Not you, ma’am. Just been blinded by the sun. Give me a second.’

He fumbled around his feet until he found them. Visibility improved, but not by much. He moved into the left-hand lane, tucked himself behind a Tesco wagon and took advantage of the shade.

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