Page 44 of Till Death Saves Me

We drive in silence, the city lights blurring past the window. But I can't take my eyes off Ivan. The way his jaw clenches and unclenches, the tightness around his eyes - I know he's still worried about me.

And suddenly, it hits me like a tidal wave. I've never felt more right, more safe than I am with him. I've never trusted anyone else like this. I've never wanted anyone. I want to give him all my time, I want him to come home when he's gone, I want to pull him to bed when he stays up late and feel him wrapped around me.

I love him.

I love Ivan fucking Kozlov.

The realization steals my breath away. My heart pounds so hard I'm sure Ivan must hear it. Love. It seems impossible, ridiculous even. This man who I was forced to marry, one who has a terrible temper and a cocky attitude - how could I possibly love him?

I guess because I finally saw the guy that Anya kept telling me was there. I finally learned that he is loyal and caring and thoughtful beneath the exterior he presents to everyone else. And after everything, how could I not fall for this man?

And I have. God help me, but I have.

I want to tell him. The words bubble up in my throat, desperate to spill out. But fear holds me back. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if this is all just duty to him?

I squeeze his hand tighter, and he glances over at me. The softness in his gaze makes my chest ache. How did I not see it before? How did I miss the depth of emotion hidden behind his cold exterior?

For now, I stay silent. I don't want to know if he's just protecting me because he has to. I don't want him to tell me that he said not to get any ideas about getting attached. Because I did, and I don't know I can stand to hear that he's just fulfilling a contract. That he's just making sure that everyone knows not to cross him because I'm his wife, not that he cares.

I let the warmth of his hand in mine and the steady rhythm of his breathing wash over me. And I hold this newfound love close to my chest, both terrified and exhilarated by its presence.

21

IVAN

Icarry Virginia into the house, her body pressed against mine. My heart pounds, a mix of relief and something deeper I can't quite name. As I set her down in the living room, my hands linger on her waist, unwilling to break contact.

"You're safe now," I murmur, my voice rougher than I intend.

She looks up at me, her brown eyes wide and vulnerable. "Ivan, I?—"

I cut her off with a kiss, pouring every ounce of fear and longing I've felt into it. She responds immediately, her fingers tangling in my hair as she presses closer.

When we break apart, I rest my forehead against hers, breathing her in. The realization hits me like a freight train—I'm completely, utterly fucked. This woman, who I once saw as nothing more than a liability, has become everything to me.

"I thought I'd lost you," I admit, the words scraping my throat.

Virginia’s hand cups my cheek, her touch impossibly gentle. "You found me. You always find me."

Something inside me breaks at her words. I pull her into my arms again, marveling at how perfectly she fits against me. It's like she was made for me, and I for her.

"I'm never letting you go again," I vow, my lips brushing her ear. "You hear me, Virginia? Never."

She shivers in my arms, nodding against my chest. "Good," she whispers. "Because I don't want you to."

The surge of emotion that courses through me is overwhelming. I've spent so long fighting this, denying what I feel for her. But now, holding her close, I can't remember why I ever resisted.

I'm happy. Fucking happy. The realization should terrify me, but instead, it fills me with a warmth I've never known.

Needing to feel her, I kiss her again, deep and passionate. Pushing her lips apart, I devour her. It's intense, a raw need driving me. My hands grip her hips, pulling her against me. I can feel her heart racing, matching mine beat for beat. She tastes like sweet vanilla, and I can't get enough.

I lift her, those long legs wrapping around my waist. Her fingers tangle in my hair, urging me closer. I force myself to pull back, searching her eyes for any sign of hesitation. "Virginia, are you?—"

"Fuck me, Ivan," she begs, her voice a husky whisper that sends a jolt straight to my cock. "Please, I need it."

I groan, capturing her mouth again. "Anything," I murmur against her lips. "I will give youanythingas long as you ask like that."

She rips her shirt off, exposing smooth, dark skin that I can't resist touching. My hands glide up her back, unhooking her bra with ease. Her breasts spill free, and I dip my head, capturing one nipple in my mouth. She gasps, arching against me.

---