Page 69 of Land of Monsters

It rattled me, scared the fuck out of me, because I felt calmness deep inside. Peace. And I wanted to tear it out of my soul. I shouldn’t feel anything but pain and anger. I couldn’t give up on them, couldn’t forget why I was here.

Dressed in camo pants and a t-shirt, my wet hair slicked back, I hightailed it out of the clubhouse, the downstairs bar lively with people chatting and eating. Cutting out the side door, I heaved in air, smelling the stench of city life. A park across the street drew me, crossing over rail tracks, the morning gloom making the graffiti area even more depressing and worn.

Cold air stabbed at my lungs, prodding my skin. My jacket was back in the room… where she slept. Where she would wake up. Alone.

Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the nearest tree, trying to pull energy I didn’t need from it, like it would heal whatever I was feeling, take away the confusion.

The problem was I knew the truth; I just couldn’t accept it.

A wail came from my throat, and I bashed my knuckles into the trunk, needing to cause both of us pain. I was on the last step before the cliff crumbled underfoot, before I dropped into the void, lost forever. And I clung to the ground, clung to Kek and Lukas…

Blood spurted from my hands, my cries burning up my sore throat.

“Stop that, pretty boy.”Kek’s voice felt like it was right in my ear. “Those hands are way too skilled to be damaging them like that.”

“I can’t,” I whispered hoarsely. “I feel like I’m losing you guys.”

“You can’t ever lose us,”Kek retorted.“We were way too remarkable in bed to ever be forgotten.”

I scoffed at the comment, which sounded so much like Kek.

“You like her.”It was as if Lukas was standing on my other side, his soothing, low voice in my ear, hiccupping grief in my heart.“She’s different from anyone you’ve ever met before. That doesn’t make us any less. And all we want is for you to be happy.”

“Though, I’m still hotter,”Kek teased, bubbling up another crazed laugh from my chest.

“We don’t want your revenge, Ash. It’s not who you are,”Lukas said.“Kill for love, kill to protect your family, but never revenge.”

“Speak for yourself. I say kill those assholes.”Kek grinned, playing with her blue braid.

“I failed you both.” My head dropped, finally saying it aloud. Owning it. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself.”Kek snickered, crossing her arms.“Like I would’ve let your pretty fairy ass fight for me. I am a demon. I fight my own battles.”

“There was nothing you could’ve done.”Lukas picked up after her. “There is no blame to take, Ash. It was not something you could’ve stopped. You don’t have a say in our ends, but you have a say in the life you want to live after our deaths.”

“Always the responsible, kumbaya one. So annoying.”Kek rolled her eyes.“But what he said.”

“It’s why we needed him.” I grinned at Kek. “You and I were too fucked up and dark.”

“Why you need her.”Luca’s voice was quiet and serious, speaking about Raven. And I felt him drifting away once again.

“So don’t fuck this up, fairy boy. We’re rooting for you two.”Kek’s image dimmed, but I could still see her snarky smile.“And we are rooting for more sex like last night, so we can voyeuristically watch. You guys were so fucking hot.”

A sob huffed through my nose as I felt them dissipate, easing a slight weight off my chest. Their permission was something I didn’t know I needed. Their forgiveness and approval. Even if it was in my own head.

I only wished I could do the same for myself.

Chapter 14

Raven

?

“Master Ash said to stop licking her.”

Chirp!

Voices dragged me from sleep, a strange sensation, like sandpaper, running over my hip.

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