Page 95 of Theirs to Corrupt

When our guests have quieted, Link picks up a glass and looks at me and Pax. “Pax, you’ve been at my side?—”

The overhead lights suddenly flicker. The soft background music vanishes, replaced by an explosion of sound that rocks the atmosphere.

Then music that sounds like the opening of a Hollywood blockbuster shakes the room.

“Jesus,” Link says.

A booming voice echoes through the room.

“Stop this! Stop this immensely!”

Pax swears under his breath and checks his watch. “Bonds.”

“Goddamn it,” Link mutters, slamming down his drink.

Julien Bonds?My eyes widen.

The double doors burst open, and Julien Bonds strides in, followed by an entourage and a film crew.

I blink at the spectacle.

He’s wearing a suit, but his accessories are outrageous.

His bow tie is a garish yellow, not tied correctly, and it clashes horrifically with his neon orange sneakers.

Without slowing down, Julien marches across the room and leaps onto the stage.

When he lands, his shoes light up with silver wedding bells that race around the bottoms.

“This is an absolute travesty!” After saying hello to me and telling me I could have done much better in the marriage department, he yanks the microphone from Link’s hand.

“You’re absolutely right that a toast is performed by the most magnificent man. Clearly”—he pauses for dramatic effect—”that man is me.”

With stunned confusion, I look back and forth between Link and Pax.

Link’s eyes flash with annoyance.

Everyone around us is grinning, laughing, snapping pictures.

“Ladies, boys, and lovebirds.” He gestures dramatically toward us. “We are gathered here today to celebrate a union as rare as a dodo bird in a petting zoo.”

Oh my God.I can’t help but laugh.

“Link and Pax… Congratulations on finding someone who will endure your brilliance and bullshit, of which there’s many.” Then he looks at me. “Tessa, you now have a future filled with herding guppies.”

“Jesus,” Link says again.

Julien, wedding bells still racing around the bottom of his tennis shoes, snatches away Link’s champagne glass. Then he angles it toward each of us. “May the days be filled with happiness, and your nights make us jealous. Happily never after!”

He takes a long drink, hands back the flute, then jumps off the stage as everyone begins to applaud.

“Were you expecting that?” I ask Link.

“With Bonds, only the unexpected is expected.”

Off to one side, the Genius of the Known Universe holds court.

After Julien’s unexpected toast, the reception settles back into a more conventional rhythm.

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