Page 49 of Cowboy's Sinful Bargain

On the other hand, if he didn't understand my words I was less likely to have my head handed to me because I was being rude.

"I didn't mean to get hurt, Miko, but you have to admit that I am far more capable of taking damage like that than you are. Those cattle would have pulverized you."

They could have pulverized him, too.

"You lucky."

"I was lucky," Jos admitted. "I could have very easily died in that stampede, but I'd much rather me die than you."

My eyebrows snapped together as I glanced back at him. "Why?"

No one except my grandfather had ever cared if I lived or died, and he'd only wanted me around because I was his last link to his daughter. Most of my relatives would have preferred that I died.

"You're my husband, Miko," Jos said. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Not husband," I insisted stubbornly.

Jos's eyes rounded. "Are you saying you don't want to be married to me?"

"Married people share the same room. They share lives together, not separately. They comfort and support each other through the good times and the bad. They are not strangers to each other."

At least, that was what I had learned in all the books I'd read. Maybe my idea of what a marriage was supposed to be was somewhat skewered, but I refused to give up that idea even if it wasn't real.

"Miko, when we got married, you didn't know anything about it."

"I know now."

Jos's smile felt placating as all hell. "Yes, but this wasn't something you chose. Hell, I don't even know if you're gay."

I shrugged. "I don't know either, but what I do know is that I accepted this marriage and you. If that means I'm gay, then I am gay."

Jos grabbed my hands again, holding them in his strong grip. "Miko, it doesn't work that way."

I blinked rapidly and ducked my head when tears welled up in my eyes. It was obvious that I was being rejected. Maybe I wasn't someone he was attracted to or even wanted to consider as a spouse.

I was the bastard child of an American man and a Japanese woman. My family despised me for that fact. Maybe Jos did, too. I'd never been good enough for them and now I found I wasn't good enough for the man that was supposed to be my husband.

Well, it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I'd been living the life of an outcast since the moment of my birth, ostracized and ridiculed almost every single day.

Why should here be any different?

"I understand," I said in a low respectful voice as I pulled my hands free, pressed them together, and gave a proper bow with my head. "Thank you for explaining it to me."

I refused to force myself onto someone that didn't want me. If Jos was determined to be married in name only, so be it.

Jos huffed. "Miko."

"I'd like to sleep now."

"Miko, we need to talk about this."

I pinned my gaze on Jos, my eyes meeting his. "What is there to talk about?" It was all I could do not to snap at him. "You have made your position very clear. I won't force you to be my husband if you don't want me. We can even talk with my father about a divorce and then you can find someone you do want. I won't stand in your way or make things awkward for you."

A gasp left me when Jos suddenly surged up, pressed me into the mattress, and hovered over me. His face darkened with rage and it was mere inches from mine.

"No divorce!" he snarled. "I don't ever want to hear that word come out of your mouth again. You are mine and you'll stay mine until the day you die!"

I should have been terrified.

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