Page 49 of Nanny for the Firefighter

My stomach clenches, and I snap my gaze to my sister-in-law.

“Who told you that?”

She cocks her head at me, giving the classic “oh please” look.

“Who do you think? Your mother.”

“Well, hell. Yes, we have a bit of a history. But as that word implies, it’s all in the past. Our lives are drastically different now. We’re not the same people we were.”

Meredith shrugs. “So?”

I chuckle through my exasperation. “So, it’s not like I can just date him. He’s my boss. I’m taking care of Mia. Not to mention, he’s Hudson’s best friend.”

“Bridget, you can date whoever you want. There’s not actually any law against falling for your brother’s bestie, or your boss, for that matter. You just have to be ethical about it.”

An abrupt cut of laughter rushes out of me, and I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, because it’s really that easy.” I sigh, laying myself across the table before I shoot right back up. “Youcannottell Hudson. I…I’m not dealing with that, especially since nothing is going to happen.”

“I won’t. I’m not a total bitch.” Meredith pats my hand. “But you can’t just sit here and do nothing about your feelings. That’s how people die angry and alone.”

Tension clings to every muscle and the relaxed quiet I had before everyone woke up is certainly gone now.

“Meredith, I…there are other things at play here besides my feelings.”

She nods like she knows something I don’t and looks off at the door where Hudson will come back with their kiddo.

“There always is, hun. Look,” she sighs again, refocusing on me, “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but here’s a tiny piece of advice from someone who’s been through the wringer with her feelings. Life is so short and dangerous and hard. When you find someone who makes all that seem like it’s not so bad, you grab onto them with everything you can.

“You’ll never know what could have happened, the incredible life you could have enjoyed if you don’t make a move. It’s terrifying and risky, for sure. But if you want something—someone—you can’t let anything stand in your way.”

It’s impossible to hear all that and not feel like I owe Meredith the effort to try this. She’s cleary going for best sister-in-law status, and for some reason I don’t want to let her down.

Damn, she’s too good at this shit.

“I appreciate the advice, Meredith. I really do. I just…” My voice wavers and I have to clear my throat to get it back under control. “I don’t even really know what the future could be like with Mason.”

Meredith sighs, putting a hand on top of mine where it rests on the table.

“What is your heart telling you?”

I chuckle, but there is no humor to it, and the creeping sadness at the edges gets stronger.

“I don’t know. I haven’t listened to it much. Not for a long while.”

My chest feels heavy as Meredith offers me a sympathetic look. But it’s true.

Ever since moving out west with Jai, I haven’t been listening to what I really want. Hell, probably before that.

Because if I had been—if I’d actually listened to my desires and not just my need for validation—I probably wouldn’t have gone off with him.

“Oh, hun. I think that’s where you need to start then. You need to sit down with yourself and have a little heart-to-heart. Pardon the pun.”

I give Meredith a smile, knowing that she’s more right than she realizes.

Because the truth is that it’s not just Mason and my feelings I have to consider. I need to think about Jai.

Not if I want to go back there—I definitely don’t—but if I can finally bring myself to stand up to him.

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