Page 159 of Toxic

Unsure how to answer, I shrugged. "Well, I like the lyrics. Especially the part about 'I have died every day waiting for you' and ‘all along I believed I would find you.'"

His eyes roamed over my face for a while, but he didn’t comment on the lyrics.

"My dad used to play beautifully. He started teaching me even though he had very little time since he was the one supporting us. But after the accident, he never picked up the violin again."

I put the instrument back in its case and sat down next to him again.

"What happened to your dad?" I asked.

"Car accident. He lost the use of both legs and one arm. He couldn’t work and had back problems… He suffered a lot. The pain was so intense it drained his will to live."

"How old were you then?"

"Nine."

I froze. I hadn’t realized Soren was so young when all this happened. For some reason, I assumed he had to be older—at least a teenager. How else could he have managed everything?

"Did you have any help?" I asked.

"The Omega Aid Agency sent a nurse to help with my dad's hygiene needs, but I had to do the rest—cleaning, shopping, cooking, going to school on my own. He couldn’t even attend parent-teacher meetings; he only spoke with the school principal online."

I blinked in shock, realizing that Soren’s life had been much harder than I’d imagined.

"Oh my God, Soren. You really had no one to help you?"

Soren shook his head. "My dad was an only child. He had no siblings, and both my grandparents were already gone."

"And your alpha father?"

"He’s gone too. He was a soldier and died during an overseas mission."

"How did you get by financially? Was there a pension?"

"My parents weren’t married. My alpha father was a… stud. Very handsome guy. He got five omegas pregnant, so I have a lot of half-siblings, but I don’t know any of them well. We met during our father's funeral and later when our granddad died. I was also invited to some weddings, but there is no close bond. I didn’t get any money from my father, I only inherited a small sum from my granddad, who left a bit to all of my father’s illegitimate children, which covered two years of my tuition. So money was tight, and I was always taking on part-time jobs from the time I was fourteen. My dad worked online as a text editor. He had one functioning hand, and that’s how he supported us."

I was quiet for a while, unsure of what to say. Soren finished eating and stared at the empty tray.

"I’m sorry, Soren. I can’t even imagine what it must have felt like to have so much responsibility fall on you… You had to grow up fast."

Soren stayed silent, now fixing his eyes on the wall opposite the bed. A framed photograph of my family hung there, showingall of us smiling on the porch of my childhood home. I felt strange, knowing that he didn’t have such a support system and that his upbringing was so different from mine. I used to complain about my situation—growing up with so many siblings with wildly different personalities—but Soren had real reasons to be upset. His rough childhood would certainly shape anyone's character and outlook on life.

"He died one and a half years ago," Soren continued, "after another unsuccessful surgery that was supposed to fix his constant pain. I don’t have anyone. I only had Anton and Liam throughout high school and most of college, but Anton left too, soon after my dad died. And Liam… well, you know the rest of the story." Soren trailed off and pressed his lips together.

Suddenly, it all clicked in my head—the understanding of Soren’s deeply stressful reaction to the thought of losing another person in his life, especially someone who had been present for almost a decade. He didn’t want to push Liam away—that’s why he was ready to sacrifice his own happiness and play along with the ‘platonic boyfriend’ scenario. But at the same time, he didn’t want to lose me either, and that was his dilemma. Have his cake and eat it too?

Even though I had backed him into a corner, and anyone else in their right mind would have told me to fuck off, he stayed. This realization gave me a new perspective on Soren. It helped me better understand his fears and why he clung so desperately to the people in his life, even when it didn't always make sense.

"I won’t leave you," I whispered, reaching for his hand.

Soren laughed bitterly. "Everyone says that, but there’s always a way out for anyone. You can’t control everything in life."

"But you can try. I know what I want. I want you in my life. I want to be with you."

"We’ll see. Time will tell."

He looked down at our intertwined hands. My finger gently brushed over his tattooed wrist, and something caught my attention—did the scar there seem flatter? I didn’t dare mention it, not wanting to lead to a conversation he might not be ready for. His fingers moved slightly in response to my touch, and his eyes slowly lifted to meet mine.

I could feel the electricity increasing in the air. Soren slowly pulled the blanket down, exposing his chest. My eyes fell on his hard, dark pink nipples.

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