Page 153 of Toxic

He locked himself in the bathroom and stayed there for a long time. I bit my nails nervously. When he finally came out, I noticed his eyes were red. He was wrapped in a towel and headed for the bedroom, but for some reason, I didn’t follow him.

I went to shower too, feeling a strange sense of dread. Why was he so shut down, as if all the life had been drained out of him? Did it really hit him that hard? Well, of course. He wasn't here of his own free will, feeling cornered, threatened.

People called him toxic, but what about me?

Was I any better?

A strange, almost funny thought occurred:

Maybe… after all, we belonged together?

Paradoxically, it awakened a sliver of hope in me. In place of my lost faith in us even being TMs, could we be a case of just… toxic True Mates after all?

Deserving each other?

When I got out of the shower and was drying my hair, I heard Soren’s phone ringing, but he didn’t answer it.

After a moment of hesitation, I walked out of the bathroom and headed to the bedroom. Soren was lying on the bed, still wrapped in a towel, staring at the ceiling.

I stood there looking at him, and he slowly turned his head toward me.

"What are you waiting for?"

I blinked. "Waiting for? I don’t understand."

"We’re together now, Skye. You can fuck me as much as you want."

I closed my eyes tightly, yup, the toxicity was holding strong. "Clearly, you still don’t get it, Soren. Just ‘fucking’ you is not what I ever wanted…"

Then I walked out of the bedroom, my heart aching too much. Maybe I had Soren physically, but I knew we weren’t even halfway to truly being together.

Dejected, I grabbed a blanket from the closet and lay down on the couch in the living room. Even though my body wanted him, my heart was too clenched to go into the bedroom while he was in that state. To be honest, I was on the verge of sobbing,feeling helpless and clueless. What a mess I had gotten myself into, this time of my own choosing.

I stretched out on the couch and put my hands behind my head, but then I heard the sound of bare feet in the hallway. Soren walked into the room. He looked at the blanket covering me and surely figured out I was planning to sleep there.

"You’re really greedy, Skye. I’m offering you my body, I moved in with you, I left Liam for you—my best friend—what more do you want from me? This is all I can give you right now, so don’t ask for more."

I looked at him, honestly having no idea what to say. My mind was blank. Maybe he was right, maybe I went way too far with this.

He took a few more steps closer and stood over me. I stayed silent.

"What do you want from me?!" he almost shouted.

"Something you clearly don’t think I deserve."

He closed his eyes tightly, then turned and walked away.

And that was that. Silence crept into my apartment. Nothing to add, nothing to do… This night I spent on the couch in the living room.

***

Imagine my surprise when I woke up in the morning and heard sounds coming from the kitchen.

Everything that had happened came back to me in a second and made me ache with stress. I got up and went there, not sure what I’d find.

Soren was standing by the kitchen counter, making himself a cup of coffee. That wasn’t the strange part—it was more about what he was wearing. Or rather… what he wasn’t wearing.

He was facing away from me. He only had on a pair of jockstrap-style briefs with very thin straps. Black and sexy—just a thin line of fabric running between his firm, round cheeks. Other than that, he was completely naked. His hair was loose, falling in a silky black wave down his back, past the middle.

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