Page 152 of Toxic

I sat down at my computer and tried to focus on work as much as I could. Soren came back about half an hour later,smelling like a pack of cigarettes. He sat down and stared blankly at his screen.

Was I an asshole?

Yes, I was, definitely. I blackmailed him.

But… fuck if I cared. Not now, anyway. Living together could give us a real chance. Soren could see that being with me wasn’t such a tragedy. Slowly, gradually… every day would work in my favor. I could build us!

I was so determined that I didn’t dwell deeper into my conscience, instead keeping my focus.

When lunchtime came, Soren didn’t go to eat anything. He just stayed at his desk. I went with some other coworkers, then came back and kept working until it was time to leave.

Right at 5 pm, I got up from my chair, and without looking at Soren, I headed toward the elevator, positioning myself there in a way, so I wouldn’t see if he left the room or not—I didn’t want to know.

A few other employees started gathering, waiting for the elevator. Among them, I spotted the only other alpha in DevApp, Sariel Lowen, with his unusual minty hair and eyes. He gave me a curious look and even seemed like he wanted to say something, but I stayed silent, wearing an unapproachable frown on my forehead and staring mostly at the glowing elevator call button.

Finally, it dinged. The doors slowly opened, revealing an already partially filled interior. Feeling the painful clench in my jaw, I stepped inside, and only then did I turn around. The hallway was empty. The doors slowly closed… no one appeared there.

It felt like my world was about to collapse. In a moment, in a few seconds when I reached the first floor, I’d be able to fall apart, but not just yet…

Ding!

The doors opened again.

Soren stood there, pale, his hair slightly tousled. Slowly, he stepped into the elevator, squeezing in between the tightly packed employees.

My God, my heart was pounding like the opening gong ofAlso Sprach Zarathustra.

We descended to the ground floor in silence, then made our way out of the building; Soren walked beside me, saying nothing.

"Where’s Liam? You two usually go to the parking lot together?" I asked, trying to avoid drifting into sarcastic tones and sound as normal as I could.

"Liam has to stay late today. He has some things to finish for the graphics department," Soren replied in a rather lifeless, robotic tone.

I didn’t say anything because that worked out perfectly. I really hated the idea of a parking lot confrontation; I knew it would just end in a mess of emotions. So I opened the car door for him, and he slid inside. I got in too and merged into traffic.

The next ten minutes passed in a strange quiet. On one hand, I felt a weird pain, knowing he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to, but because I had cornered him. At the same time, I felt a kind of joy—finally, I had a window of opportunity to show him that I might actually deserve this chance. I was dizzy, like on high.

Did I just bet everything on one card today and win? Did I REALLY win?

Before we got out in the parking lot in front of their building, I said firmly, "From now on, you're only mine, Soren. You belong to me, and me only. He doesn't have the right to even touch you. You and Liam… are a closed chapter."

Soren was sitting next to me with a strange, numb, blank expression.

I couldn’t help but wonder what Liam would do now. I felt stressed about it and… also felt pretty crappy. I wasn’t a strangerto guilt. Liam really did something amazing for Soren—did he deserve what was coming? No. But this was a brutal fight, and there wasn't going to be a clear winner. It was every man for himself. If Soren had a twin, we could all have a chance, but the sad truth was, someone had to win. Life was cruel.

Without another word, we got out and went up to the second floor of the building, to their shared apartment. The first thing I noticed was that they had two separate bedrooms.

Soren quietly began packing his things. I watched him; he seemed apathetic. I searched my mind for some words of comfort, but none came. What could I say? The only thing I could offer him now was actions, not words—I’d said enough already.

When Soren finished packing, he sat down at the kitchen table and wrote something on a piece of paper. It wasn’t long. Then he got up, took the first suitcase, and I grabbed the rest. Together, we carried them down to the car.

We hadn’t said a word. We got in and drove off.

Since I lived close to work, we got there in about ten minutes. We carried the suitcases upstairs, and I showed him an empty closet, almost like it had been waiting for him all along. Soren unpacked in silence, but I noticed his hands were shaking.

I couldn't leave it like this, crouched down next to him, wanting to hold him, but he suddenly straightened up and said, "I’d like to take a shower."

"This is your new home, Soren. You can do whatever you want," I replied softly.

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