Page 49 of Still Her

“We need to get you the fuck out of here,” he says, pulling me towards the main entrance of the suite. I only barely register his voice in the back of my mind. “People are going to hear you,” he continues, grabbing my jacket off the chair and shoving it at me. I know what he’s getting at. Every staff member in these hotels signs a blanket NDA upon hire to protect the privacy of anyone in the public eye that may visit, but that doesn’t mean they’re always going to abide by it. I guess it’s a good thing that Matt is bearing that in mind, because I seriously don’t give a flying fuck right now as he opens the door and pushes me through it. Once we’re out in the hallway, he stops and glances in both directions before steering us in the direction opposite of the elevators.

When we reach the end of the hall, he pushes me through a door that leads to an empty stairwell.

“Up,” He orders. We climb the stairs, me taking two or three at a time. After what I think is five or six flights, we reach a landing where there is nothing more but a door with the words, “Roof Access”. Matt leans in to test the door and it swings outward, letting us into some kind of rooftop garden. There are tables and benches, pebbled paths that wind around what look like Zen gardens and three electrical fire pits with flames flickering, strategically placed throughout with Adirondack style chairs positioned around them.

I pause to catch my breath from the adrenaline that’s coursing through me, and glance around at the view of city lights. We’re not on the highest roof, but one that is carved out about two thirds of the way up the hotel building. I stand rooted to the spot, absently staring at Matt as he walks through, looking around, I guess to make sure that we’re alone. When he spots the public entrance, he makes a beeline for it and tests the door. When it gives, he lets go and looks around a moment before walking over to an iron bench. He drags it over to the door, and once he’s satisfied that he’s barricaded it efficiently, he straightens up and turns to me.

“Alright, have at it. Whatever you need to do Jack, go for it. Let it out. We’ll take care of it in the morning. We can afford the damages. We’ll say we found it damaged when we came up for a break, but pay for it anyway. It will make us look good.”

It’s tempting. In fact, that’s all I want to do. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to move. I don’t know if the height we’re at is slowing things down and shifting them back into focus, but I feel my control coming back to me and I mentally grab onto it. I’m finally feeling the chill of the evening air and shrug into my jacket that I’d absently been carrying. And then, instead of tearing the place apart, I slump down onto a bench. The blinding white light of unbridled rage seems to have faded out, and the first clear thought that forms in my head is that I need to know if my wife is okay. As much as I need to hear her voice right now, I don’t want her to hear mine. I’m still shaking and my breathing is still ragged. I don’t want her to worry about me on top of God knows what else is going through her head right now. So I take my phone out and dial Shane instead, knowing he’s with Mayzie and can tell me where they are.

“Jack.” His usual straightforward greeting comes through the line.

“Are you with her? Is she okay?” I ask, skipping the pleasantries.

“Of course I’m with her, you would’ve heard from me if I didn’t have eyes on her. She’s safe Jack,” he assures me.

“Is she okay? I mean…” I can’t even repeat what I saw laying on the bed when I got to the room and she was gone. I can only imagine what it did to her.

“She’s alright Jack. I can tell something’s bothering her, but she seems to be holding up okay.”

Figures. My wife, who was the actual recipient of the cause of my fury, is holding it together better than I am.

“Thank you,” is all I can think to say to him now. I look up to see Matt across the garden with his back to me, talking on his own phone. “Just stay with her and let her know I’ll be back soon.”

“You got it,” Shane replies before signing off.

I look up at Matt, who still has his phone to his ear, saying something that I can’t hear from where I’m sitting. I shove my hands into my jacket pockets and one of them comes in contact with my beanie. I pull it out and slip it on, partly to stay warm and partly for something to do. I drop my head back and close my eyes, trying to focus on nothing else but the cold night air coming into my lungs, cooling the inside of my chest. Mayzie is always trying to get me to do yoga, telling me it will help me relax. I can never get into it, but I try to now, at least the meditative breathing part. I will try anything to level out right now. I need to get my head back together so I can get to Mayzie, make sure she’s alright and just be there for her.

I hear footsteps approach me and then the bench shakes as Matt drops down beside me. I keep my head laid back and my eyes closed but give him my attention when he starts to speak.

“I got ahold of Ron. He’s having the hotel room taken care of.” I blow a hard breath out in response before he continues. “Texted Shane too; asked him to try to divert Mayzie from there until the lamp is replaced.”

“Thank you,” I manage.

“I let him know where we are too.” He shrugs, like he’s not sure how I’d react to that.

“Damn. You’re all over it,” I finally say, chuckling and lifting my head to regard him.

“Just looking out for my family,” he replies, leaning over to rest his elbows on his knees. “So I take it you’re done hulking out?” he asks, tilting his head towards me with one of his eyebrows raised like he’s skeptical.

I let out a heavy sigh and push the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Yeah,” I finally answer as I drop them in my lap. What just happened down in the room is something I’ve been struggling to keep from happening since the scumbag cornered Mayzie in that bathroom. Seeing confirmation of his intentions right there in solid black and white made the anger of the last few weeks finally culminate. I’m just thankful Maze wasn’t there to see it. She needs to know she can count on me to keep it together for her.

“You’re sure? I’m giving you free reign of this rooftop. Get it out of your system.”

“I’m good,” I reply curtly, before leaning forward and mirroring his position with my arms on my knees. “I just… it’s Mayzie. It’sher.”

“I know,” he affirms, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze, trying to convey that he knows what she is to me. “I know you’re scared for her. Just try to remember what you were thinking when you wroteSee Her. She’s got spunk. And not only can she handle herself, but she’ll have a cold-as-ice detective and a team of trained professionals at the ready. Plus… she’s got you in her corner.”

“Yeah…” I nod, considering that last part.

“Mayzie can handle a few nerves,” he continues. “And if she falls, you’re going to be right there to catch her. She’s got this, and you’ve got her.”

I let out a revitalized breath at that thought. Damn right she has me. There will never be a question of that. I just wish it didn’t have to be her, that this could just end with me laying the son of a bitch out. The only silver lining I’m finding is that this will be over, one way or another, after tomorrow night, and then Mayzie and I can get back to our happy life. I grip my hands together as if that thought is a lifeline that I’m trying to hold onto.

“It’s going to be alright, Jack. I refuse to believe that it won’t,” Matt concludes.

I sit up straighter and look over at him. I want to thank him; for everything. From keeping me from busting my hand on a hotel room wall, to letting me freak out and cleaning up my mess, to talking me down… I’m just opening my mouth to let him know that it didn’t all go unnoticed when there’s a push at the main access door, making the bench scrape the pavement just a little. Matt jumps to his feet to see who’s trying to come out here. After a quick look through the door’s small opening, he pulls the bench away and opens it all the way. He gives Mayzie a gentle smile as she walks through the door, and then disappears behind her.

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