Page 40 of Still Her

“So,” Jack begins as he turns back to me. “What was that in Mike’s office?”

I shrug, trying to blow it off. “It was just a self-defense move. Okay, so Ian wasn’t attacking me, but he was pissing me off and it was high time he paid for all the noogies he used to give me.”

“Where’d you learn that?”

“Shane,” I nervously rest my hands on the small of my back. “He taught me a few moves… I asked him to.”

“When was this?” he asks gently as he steps closer to me, looking down in my eyes.

“Charlotte.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I guess I was afraid of it stressing you out even more than you already are; that it would make everything seem even more real, you know?”

He looks around the room and nods, like he’s considering this.

My voice is getting shaky and quiet. Talking about all this definitely makes everything more real forme. “It’s not that I’m planning on being in a situation where I’ll have to use them,” I say, trying to reassure him that I’m not preparing for the sting behind his back. “It’s just, Eli’s had a real affinity for just popping up places on this tour, and I don’t know…” I trail off, shrugging before finding words again. “Knowing these techniques just makes me feel better. Stronger.”

Jack takes me in for a moment, his eyes wandering all over my face before speaking. “Well, the scumbag is right about one thing,” Jack brings his gaze back down to mine as his hands come up to hold my face. “You are smart. You’re brilliant. Baby, you’re so amazing.” He lowers his mouth to mine. The kiss is deep. Sweet. Hard. Long. Like he’s trying to drink me in. It goes on for a minute or two before he finally, gently pulls away, leaving one last peck on my lips. He rests his forehead against mine and lets me in on one last thought. “And by the way… watching you take out your brother? That was seriously fu-,” he looks around at the room, “effin’ hot,” he finishes. I giggle at his choice of words. “Come on,” he says chuckling, and opening his arms to gesture at the adorable future nursery. “Look at this room, I can’t curse in here!” I let my head drop back in a giggle. With that, he takes me by the hand to lead me out of the room. “Come on, you need pie.”

Screwthat. I need a turkey nap. Okay, I need pie. But after that it’s a nap.

19

Jack

The next day,Mayzie and I are back at our house, although she goes to Annie’s to spend a little time with her and catch up on what’s going on with Tyler and the pregnancy. We have a precious two more days here, so I’m doing every home project I can. I’ve basically been tinkering around the house in my sweats and trying not to stew over shit. Our stint in New York is drawing closer. I can’t make a decision about this, but soon, it’s going to be made for us. I keep telling myself that I’m not letting Mayzie alone in a room with that lowlife, no ifs ands or buts. But then I think about what our life might look like once he’s cleaned us out - Maze and me, and the rest of the guys. What we’ll do from there… The band might recover just fine. We’ll just keep making music and build our way back up. But how the joint sacrifice will affect Mayzie… It will make her feel low, small, defeated. And God knows how long those feelings will last, and the toll they’ll take on her emotionally and mentally. I try to tell myself that the important thing is that she’ll be safe, but then I wonder if avoiding the risk will truly be worth it. I know she won’t feel that way… But how the fuck do I let my baby…

The conundrum feels like it’s ripping my heart in two. Hence the reason I’m trying to keep myself busy and moving.

I’m putting together a dresser that’s been sitting in a box in our spare room since before the tour when my cell rings. I toss my screwdriver down in the tool box and pull out the screw I was holding in my mouth as I pick it up. My mood lifts ever so slightly when I see on the caller ID it’s my friend George from The Shock Wave.

“George, what’s going on man?” I answer.

“Same shit. I wanted to see if you’re down for meeting up in Boston. You’ll be there for a couple nights, right?”

“Yeah, first two nights are shows, then we get a rest before heading to NYC the next day,” I answer, heading over to the window. The plan is to fly over and do the big metropolitan cities on the upper East Coast before heading back across the Midwestern states. We’ll be leaving the dogs with Mike and Sarah for a couple of weeks, and then picking them back up during the holiday break in between.

“Nice, we’ll be there doing that ‘Rock into the Holiday’ showcase. We missed you in L.A., and Erin wants to see Mayzie… What do you think? Will you have time?”

“Yeah, yeah. When is this showcase?” I ask, pulling the curtain back to get a look at the grey sky that’s threatening to rain, or maybe even sleet.

“The day after you leave. There’s a lot of bands in the lineup and each is only playing four songs or so. I’m surprised you guys didn’t have time to do it too.”

I’m confused. How does he know we didn’t have time to make an appearance when we didn’t even know about this in the first place?

“What do you mean? This is the first I’m even hearing about it.”

“What? When we got a list of all the bands that were playing it, we asked why Turn it Up wasn’t on it. We knew you guys would be somewhere in the vicinity and presumed you’d be part of it. All anyone had to say was that the event manager had reached out to your agent and asked for you, and he’d told them you wouldn’t have time in your schedule.”

And now it all makes sense. When Eli told Mayzie he wouldn’t have any gigs for us while she was thinking about his proposition, he seriously acted on the notion. I lean my forehead against the windowpane for a moment, welcoming the cooling effect it has on the building fire in my mind. “Right,” I grumble out.

“Jack, you all right man?” George asks, concern evident in his tone.

“Yeah…” I pinch the bridge of my nose. I’m not sure if I should bring him into this, but I need to talk to someone. Sure, Mike and Sarah know what’s going on, but anything they have to say about it comes from a family perspective. They’re too close, and therefore it’s hard for them to see the big picture. I need someone that understands the life, the business. George has more years in the industry under his belt. He’s a friend and I trust him. “Listen, I have a question. Who’s your agent?”

“Uh,” he pauses, obviously caught off guard by my random question. “Rachel Lawrence. She’s with Excel PR. Why?”

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