Page 62 of Still Her

“I want this too,” We stare into each other’s eyes, until I see a hint of realization in hers. “But let me go slow,” I continue. Slowly, she nods her head. I let out a sigh of relief and bring my lips to the marks that fucking asshole left on her jaw. I’m beyond livid, but I will put that aside to give her what she needs. I start making a line of slow, gentle kisses along her jawline until my mouth is by her ear. “I’m going to make you feel so good, baby. I promise,” I whisper, while I stroke my thumb back and forth against her opposite cheek. “Just let me make you feel safe.” I pull her hair to the side so that I can kiss down her neck, and come back up to whisper in her ear some more. “I want to take our time, just like the first night we were together. Remember how amazing that was?” I feel her body relax as I say this. I close my lips around her earlobe, and I hear her breath catch. I continue to hold her and kiss down her neck, and when her breathing changes from rapid and shallow to slow and deep, I finally bring my mouth to hers and kiss her, letting my lips overlap with hers for a few strokes before going deeper and letting my tongue caress hers. I let my hands roam up her sides, all across her back, and down to squeeze her thighs that are caging me in. One hand comes up to her shoulder to pull the stretchy material of her dress down her arm, the newly exposed skin of her shoulder drawing the attention of my lips to it. I repeat the same motions with the other side of her dress, worshiping her skin with my mouth. I pull the material down further, leading her to pull her arms out of it and let me push it down around her waist. Her breasts are pushed up in a black lacy bra, and I watch them rise and fall with her breathing. I drop a kiss to the top of one of them and give it a squeeze. I am so fucking hard for her, but I’m still hell-bent on taking my time as I hold onto her and let my mouth work its way all over her chest. What she doesn’t realize, is that I need her, too. I know better than to speak my case right now, but I went through hell tonight too. It gutted me to not be able to protect her, and I feel this inherent need to do that now. To make her feel safe. I need to touch her, be close to her, feel her trust me with her body and her heart; to feel her come apart in my arms as she gives herself over to me. These are all things she has done over and over in our few years together, but I need to feel it now more than ever before.

Her breaths are coming out ragged and she’s letting some moans escape as she leans back, giving me access to her body. Still holding her in my lap with one arm, I let my other hand roam all over her. It comes up to cup a breast, before gliding around to her back to run across the bare skin there. I kiss up her throat, as my hand comes back around the front of her to slide up under the bottom of her dress. I push it between her legs, letting my fingers rub against the lacy material of her panties. Her hands squeeze my shoulders in response as I continue to rub her. The sounds she makes while she clenches her thighs against me are almost my undoing, but still, I rein it in. When I feel her panties dampen even more, I move them to the side so that my fingers can glide against the slick velvet of her clit.

“Oh God…” Her words come out in a moan tangled with a gasp. I push two fingers inside her and she starts to ride my hand. It’s getting harder and harder to keep my control, and it doesn’t take long for her to lose hers as I pump my fingers into her. “Jack,” she pants, “I’m going to…”

“Let go baby,” I say, encouraging her as I kiss up her chest to her neck, occasionally letting my tongue dart out to taste her sweet skin. I push into her a little harder and that does it. She cries out, clenching around my hand. I almost can’t stand it as she writhes in my lap, riding it out. The site of her blissed out by my doing makes me want to go off. The squeeze of her muscles gradually weakens and her breathing slows as she drops her forehead against mine. I press my lips against hers as I wrap both arms around her, standing and turning to lay her on the bed. I kneel over her and bring my face down close to hers. I take in the look in her grey eyes that seems to have gotten some of its sparkle back as she gazes up at me. “Do you want more?” I ask gently.

“Yes,” She says quietly, nodding her head. “Please, baby. Give me you.” She grabs at my shirt, pulling it up, and I sit up to yank it all the way off before coming back down to hover over her again.

“You always have me, sweetheart.” I say against her lips, as her hands glide all over my stomach and up to my chest. I take a moment to enjoy the feel of her touch, letting my body react. “Always,” I repeat, before kissing her, giving her my weight as I lay down completely on top of her. Her arms come around me, and her hands move all over my back, alternating between massaging and caressing as we get lost in our kiss. Her touch always makes me lose my mind. My tongue strokes hers, and after a while, our bodies start to move against each other like they just don’t have any control. I reach behind her with one hand to unsnap her bra, and lean back just enough for her to pull the straps off her shoulders and away from her chest. I lay back down on her, feeling the bare skin of her breasts pressed against my chest, giving me the feeling of coming home. I kiss her for another minute before standing up to finish the job she started earlier, of undoing my pants. I watch her raise her hips to push her dress down her legs as I step out of my jeans. I lean forward to pull the dress the rest of the way off. Once I’ve shucked my boxer briefs, I lay back down on top of her, immersing us both in the ecstasy that comes with our skin caressing together. I work her panties down each hip, pulling them down and throwing them off to the side. She’s kissing my neck and touching me everywhere she can and it’s making it so much harder to hold back. I close my eyes and try to get a grip as she reaches down and strokes me. I’m worried I’ll go off the second I’m inside her. Once I feel like I’ve got my control back, I press my mouth against hers, and push inside her in one long, slow thrust. She’s wrapped around me, tight and warm, and I still as she whimpers into my mouth. After a moment, I start to move, thrusting my hips into hers.

“How’s that feel?” I ask her between kisses.

“So amazing,” she gasps, arching her back and thrusting herself down onto me. I’m so mesmerized by her right now. After everything that went down tonight, she’s still Mayzie. Nothing took that away. She’s still my girl and she is one hundred percent in this moment with me; and while I’m aroused beyond my wildest dreams, a wave of gratitude for this woman knocks me down and crashes over me. The power of my thrusting picks up and I kiss her with more of a hunger, our lovemaking becoming intense. We move faster and harder against each other, and I feel her getting tighter. She’s close to losing control, and her muscles squeeze me, like they’re urging me to join her. I swear, our hotel room disappears, and there’s nothing but shooting stars and galaxies exploding around us.

“Jack, baby, I’m going to come.” Her words come out brokenly between gasps, as she grips my back tightly.

“I’m right behind you, baby. Go ahead and let go,” I say, bucking into her harder. She tosses her head back and cries out as her orgasm takes over. She’s throbbing around me, and I groan out loud as I get closer, my climax chasing hers.

“I love you Jack,” she says on a strained exhale, like she’s desperate for me to hear that.

“I love you. Oh my God, I love you.” I say back to her, as I thrust into her hard, over and over, grunting and moaning into her neck. I love everything about her. How brave she is, how strong; how she wouldn’t let that piece of shit ruin the band or break her spirit. I explode inside her, unable to contain the roaring and cursing coming out of me. Everything I have shoots into her. I collapse on top of her, breathing so hard I’m afraid I might hyperventilate. My heart is about to explode out of my chest. After a few seconds, she gently presses her hands to my chest, rolling us so that she’s lying on top of me. She plants kisses on my cheek and down my neck. Her hands caress up and down my chest, and I realize our roles have reversed. Now she’s the one trying to calmmedown. There’s a sheen of sweat covering both of our bodies, and once I’m sure I’m not going to have a heart attack, I pull her up my body to thread both my hands in her hair and kiss the hell out of her. When I release her, we stay close, our foreheads touching and looking in each other’s eyes for a moment before we both break out in a smile, like neither of us can fathom what just happened. After giving her one more kiss, I wrap both my arms around her and she settles her head against me with her cheek on my chest. I’m reminded again of the first time we ever made love, which ended with us in this very position.

27

Jack

As nice asit would’ve been to fall asleep with the weight of Maze on my chest, that doesn’t happen. Only a few minutes pass before we fall back into it again… and again. Hours go by before we break away, but still stay close enough to hang on to our connection, facing each other with our foreheads touching and hands joined between us. She seems to finally drift off easily, and after a while, so do I, although I wake up way too soon in the darkened hotel room. I lay still, waiting for sleep to come back to me, but it doesn’t happen. I look over at Mayzie, thankful that she’s not only sleeping, but sleeping hardcore. Her face is completely relaxed, her body unmoving. The sight of her beautiful body lying next to me in the darkness, finally getting the rest the asshole has been depriving her of, makes a feeling of immense relief settle over me, and I suddenly don’t care that I’m not sleeping.

It’s mere moments of lying there quietly before words start floating around and connecting to each other in my head. I stay relaxed, and let them come before I start to hear a melody in the background, the lyrics rapidly flooding in, overtaking my mind, and I can’t keep up with it all. I have to write it down, and since sleep is nowhere in sight, the comfort of my guitar sounds good right now.

I climb out of bed and head over to my bag, finding a pair of pajama pants and pulling them on commando, before loosely tying the drawstring and swiftly walking out to the sitting area. I grab my guitar case from beside the couch and lay it down on the cushions to unsnap the clasps. From the inside pocket, I snatch my notebook and pen, sit down, and scribble down the lyrics that are swirling in my head. Once I feel I have them all scratched down on paper, almost filling a page, I head over to the kitchenette to fix myself a cup of coffee and grab my phone off its charger. While the coffee is dripping into my mug, I check my messages. I only have a couple from the other guys and one from Ron, which I open first, knowing it’s about a matter that needs to be addressed.

Ron:Total media circus. Rachel is at the ready with statements. Say the word.

I know he’s referring to the spectacle that was probably Eli being led out of the hotel in cuffs last night. I tap out a quick response.

Jack:Tell her to go ahead and release the band’s statement. Hold off on mine until we talk to family.

Ron:Done.

Satisfied with that for now, I walk back over to the living area with my coffee and sit down, eager to see if I can do anything with the words and chords that are ambushing my brain. After pulling my guitar across my lap and tuning it up, I get to work, strumming out some notes and experimenting with the words.

You did your best to do your worst,

Tried to dominate

Tried to shake

Our foundation

But you can’t take

My salvation…

* * *

MAYZIE

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