Page 31 of Until We Fall

His lips press. “Are you sure you want to know?—”

“Yes.” I nod. “I’m sure.”

He scans me. “D… it’s hard to talk about.”

“That’s okay.” I squeeze his fingers. “But I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

He bites his bottom lip, considering me, then after a long moment, he nods. “I had this boyfriend in high school. Or at least, I thought he was.” He inhales sharply. “He cheated on me. But that’s not even what really bothers me. It was what he said.”

“What did he say?”

“He said being with me was…” He fights through what he wants to say, each word coming slowly. “He said it was a waste of time. That I wasn’t… enough.”

Fuck this ex.

I mean, seriously? FUCK HIM.

I’ve solidified, my shoulders stiff, my elbow pressing into the bed. I try to calm down so that Rory doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him. But I’m fit to pop.

“He told me,” Rory continues, “that in the beginning, he thought I was cute, but then he grew tired of my freckles, and my hair, and how fuckinglittleI was, and how I talked about nothing important. Random facts and bits of information that no one cares about except me.”

“He was wrong,” I say.

Rory shakes his head. “Except he really wasn’t. I do have freckles, and I am little, and I do talk about random shit.”

“No.” My throat closes. “He waswrong. I don’t even know what he was talking about, because when I look at you?—”

“He wasright.” His lips press. “It’s not just him. I get comments all the time.”

“Then those people are wrong too.”

“So, I’m supposed to assume that everyone else is somehow wrong?”

“Yes.”

I can’t even begin to contemplate how someone can think that Rory isn’t amazingexactlyas he is. It just doesn’t compute in my head. I look at him, and I see… Jesus… I seeeverything.

“That’s not reality,” he says sharply. “It’s not logical. If there’s a common occurrence, then that repetition needs to be considered.”

“Who says?” I zero in on him. “Listen to me instead. You are absolutely, without a single doubt,enough, Rory.”

His lips part, his breath shaky.

“D,” he whispers hesitantly, but he tugs on my hand, pulling me closer, and I bend forward on my elbow, letting my forehead fall against his cheek.

Fuck, I’m feeling so much. My heart is pummeling, my skin prickling. We’re twisted together, a pile on the bed, silently breathing, but inside my head is loud. I think that in all the years I’ve known Rory, I haven’t fully known him. But now, here, I see.

And it makes me feel even more for him.

Maybe we all have this same battle to different degrees. Questions about if we’reenough. I have it at times too. Less about my physical self. But my mental self? Yeah.

My struggle to get through school. The times when I’ve had to read out loud and I can feel people’s eyes on me, silently coming to conclusions about me. I’ve wondered how the world might feel different if I could process information faster.

And part of what’s helped me is Rory. Not just him sitting on my bed and studying, but his belief in me. With him, I don’t need to be anyone besides myself. I can just be. And he’s fine withme.

My throat tightens, and I press my forehead harder against his cheek, feeling him breathe, feeling him sink more against me.

“You’re enough, Rory,” I whisper. Does he believe me? I don’t know. “You’re enough forme. Fuck everyone else.”

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