Page 48 of Until We Fall

“You are so fucking sexy, Rory.” I lick my lips. “I fantasize about you. I want you. I ache to touch you. There is not a single part of me that isn’t attracted to you.”

He blinks hard, another shiver rushing over him, his cheeks darkening with a blush. “It has to be so frustrating for you. That you have to keep saying it. Over and over.”

“Have to?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Igetto keep saying it. It’s not frustrating at all. I’ll tell you a thousand times a day and wish I could tell you a thousand more. Iwantyou.” I pause, struggling for how to put it into words. “When I’m with you, my heart races, my mind opens. Everything is clearer, crisper. Ifeelit.” I lick my lips, nerves popping at what I’m going to say. Butthere’s something whispering in my mind that maybe this might be the leap we need to take.

Fuck, I don’t know. But he’s right, the words are not fully working for us. I can say them a million times, and Iwill, but it’s my kisses that he seems to believe.

And on that ledge earlier, he implied that he wants to take the next leap. We’re on the edge. We need to jump.

“What if…” I start again. “I suck your cock?”

14

Rory stares at me,a wisp of red hair falling into his lashes. Tree frogs chirping behind him, and I’m feeling every molecule of this moment. The years together, all those nights studying, I can practically feel them.

“What?” He blinks.

I clear my throat, squishing my toes into my flip-flops, nerves popping like peonies. “Yeah, so… maybe at this point, cock sucking is the way to go?”

I know it’s not all about sex. And I won’t cross a single boundary he doesn’t want to cross, but we’ve been playing around this. Giving each other long, lingering looks. It’s time we talked about it.

“You’d…” His eyes zip down me, gracing me with one of those looks now. “…want to?”

“Without adoubt.” My voice cracks. Fuck, I am so sosonervous. Rory brings it out in me. I just like him so much.

His teeth graze over his bottom lip, the tips of his hair moving in the breeze. I’m inches from him, but I don’t touch. I’ve expressed my interest, but I haven’t gotten a yes from him.

He’s still staring at me wide-eyed. “And… you want to do this now?”

“Yes.” I swallow. “I think I’ve wanted to do it for so long. I turned my brain off from thinking about it, but I think the thought has always been there. Have you ever thought about it?”

His eyes widen at my question, his fingers balling and releasing at his sides. “I…” He inhales sharply. “So many times.”

Ohhhh, Rory. Why did it take us so long to get here? “What did you think about?”

He squeezes his eyes shut. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It doesn’t have to be embarrassing with me.” I can’t think of a single thing he would say that I wouldn’t be interested in. I inhale the smell of night blooms. “I’m happy to talk about it, whether we end up doing something or not.”

He peeks out of one eye. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I’msosure.

“Okay,” he says cautiously, his chest expanding under his tee. “I’ve pretended…” He winces and then his next sentence tumbles out in a rush. “…that you were Leo. And I was Oliver..” A blush flares across his cheeks so deep that I don’t have any trouble seeing it in the shadows. “I know you aren’t Leo.”

“I’m not.” I study him. Does he wish I was? My chest tightens. “But I’m real, and I’m here, so at least I have that going for me?”

“You’rebetter, D. Leo’s good for Oliver. But you’re better for me. You’re kinda perfect for me, actually. I mean…” He shakes his head, glancing over toward the palms, blinking quickly.

My heart floods. It seriously feels like there’s a wash of water coursing over me. His words hit me fucking hard. “I like you so much, Rory.”

“I…” His eyes flash back to me. “I like you, too. And I want to, but…”

“You can tell me anything.”

“I’m nervous.”

I lick my lips. “I think nerves are fine. I’m feeling that, too. My fingers are seriously shaking. But as long as it’s not worry, or fear, or any feeling like you don’t want to do this, then I think it’s okay.”

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