Page 49 of Until We Fall

His eyes move over me again, his fingers rattling against his thigh. “You’re nervous, too?”

“So fucking nervous.” I can see a thought lingering in his eyes. “It’s alright if you don’t want to. We can do something else. Talk or walk on the beach. Or snuggle and kiss. I love just sn?—”

“I’m smaller than you,” he blurts suddenly. “You know that.”

“I do.”

“Like significantly, and?—”

“Stop,” I say softly. “You don’t need to warn me. There’s nothing to warn about.”

He snaps his arms across his chest. “But?—”

“Ilikesmaller dicks.”

His eyes widen. “That’s not possible.”

“Why not?”

He hesitates. “I… don’t know.” He studies me, like he’s debating. Maybe something has slipped through. Something has made an impression.

I debate what to say. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable talking about other guys, but maybe he needs to know.

“I like being able to take a dick fully into my mouth,” I say. “I like the smallness. And every time we’ve been close, you’ve feltperfect. You’re my fantasy—head to toe, inside and outside. You’re who I want.”

He shivers, staring at me. His lips part, his chest moving. Then he steps backward, through the open sliding door.

My heart plummets. Right down to the ground.

I’m about to turn and just head out into the night, just give him space, not sure where I’m going, when his fingers tug on the bottom for his tee.

“D,” he whispers. He pulls his shirt up, over his head. It gets caught on his elbows, but he yanks it off, then drops it on the floor. He inhales an unsteady breath, dark gray eyes watching me. “Do you want to come in?”

Oh fuck. I’m frozen.

Everything except my eyes, which are alloverhim. His freckled chest, the buds of his nipples dark against his skin, just above the cross of his arms. The tan lines, that I can barely see in the dim light, around his thin biceps.

I breathe out, hardly able to keep my hands from shaking. “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

He shakes his head, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Youare,” I say. “I wish you could see inside my head. Because you are indescribably amazing. And I know you don’t fully believe that now, but someday, I hope you do. I hope that you see what I see.”

I follow him into the room. He steps back to give me space. It’s darker in here, light welling in the glass door from the landscaping lighting and the last glow of the nearly set sun.

“I…” His arms fall to his sides. “I want to. It’s just hard to imagine that you look at me like that.”

“I don’t think you could possibly be sexier.” Like there’s seriously nopossibleway. “I don’t know why it took so long for me to tell you. I should have told you right from the start.”

“From the start?”

“That first study group.”

The room is quiet. Outside, even the tree frogs are silent.

He swallows, still watching me carefully, and then he moves, his fingers skimming over the top of his waistband.

“Iwantto, D.” He grasps the elastic of his shorts and then he tugs them down, taking his boxers with them.

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