Page 89 of Teach Me How To Fly

“I like killing bad people, yes.”

“And you’re only killing those people?”

“Mostly,” he answered quickly and his muscles tensed. “Do you really want to talk about this right now?”

I questioned my dumbness at that moment and came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to discuss things like that, but it was the way I could hide the questions I really wanted to ask him.

I should have found my courage and talked to him openly about what I was feeling and what I had been thinking about all this time. But I felt ashamed that I wanted to open my heart to him when everything around me was falling apart. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy, not even for a second.

A fucking moment of pure happiness. That was all I needed to continue walking into the chaos that was emerging in my life.

“Your heart started beating faster, Annalise,” he breathed on my chest and I felt like I was going to fall from the highest mountain existing.

That was it.

I wanted to see how much I could handle. To see if the little Annalise was still somewhere inside my mind. I wanted to be comfortable with being touched, because that's how love is expressed among other things as well.

I wanted him to touch me and teach me how I should touch myself – how to not feel ashamed of anything that my body consisted of. I just wanted to feel something other than emptiness.

“Annalise.”

He demanded, and all I could do was put my hands on each side of his face and make him kiss me.

He pressed his lips on mine without hesitation while his breath was caressing my face. In a matter of seconds, our kiss became more beastly and his body made its way above me, making me spread my legs so I could feel him closer to me.

I felt like I was about to catch fire, and my heart didn’t know how it should beat anymore. Our hands were wandering on eachother’s body and the way his lips were moving against mine only made me feel something warm and wet in the panties I wore.

My body was trying to accept everything, but it was my mind that was trying to stop me.

I didn’t know much about the closeness between two people, but I surely did feel something pushing between my legs through the thin material of the pajamas.

“Annalise, this does not feel right for you,” he whispered over my lips and put his calloused palm on my cheek, breaking our kiss with a heavy breath.

“Then make it feel right,” I quickly answered as I tried to catch my breath. “Teach me how to accept your touch because it’s the only one I want to feel.”

The moment he heard my words it was like he shapeshifted into a being I had never seen before. His eyes fell on my body, as if he was ready to devour me entirely. I didn’t feel scared for a second. My body knew Maksen wasn’t going to hurt me considering how it was responding to his touches, but my mind didn’t hesitate to warn me that something was wrong.

Maksen started leaving soft kisses on the pulse line of my neck, sending shivers down my spine each time his breath hit my skin. His hands were not going below my waistline and I loved that he didn’t cross my boundaries.

He raised his gaze to mine as if he still needed my permission to go further.

“Do what you want to me.”

He spent a few moments analyzing my answer and it seemed like he didn’t know what to do first. At that moment, I wanted him to forget about what I’ve been through and touch me as if I was just a normal inexperienced girl.

I took a deep breath when he started opening each button of my pajama blouse. He made every movement with a slownessthat drove me crazy because I didn’t know what was coming. I was only aware of the nervousness I felt.

“Are you sure, Annalise?” he asked again, his voice trembling and his pupils dilated so much I could swear that his eyes were a black void.

“Yes,” I briefly answered and that was the moment I knew I couldn’t step back.

He took off my blouse as he let his eyes fall on my naked breasts. I was ashamed that he was looking at me like that, but I also felt good when I saw how hard he bit his lower lip. Once his mouth found its way to one of my nipples, my toes clenched with pleasure and my mind froze with fear.

Fuck.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

It’s not him, it’s Maksen, the man I deeply love. Get yourself back up, Annalise. You’re safe.

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