Page 90 of Teach Me How To Fly

It’s not wrong to want to be touched by someone who loves you, even if you’ve been touched before by someone without your consent.

It’s not wrong to want to feel things after a life when all you felt was emptiness.

It’s not wrong to live your life and enjoy its pleasures, Anna, even if there was a man who made you not want to live anymore.

Stop punishing yourself, Annalise.

Forgive yourself.

You did nothing wrong.

“Little angel, look at me,” he whispered and that was when I realized he came back above me and his nose was almost touching mine. “You don’t have to do this. You’re not prepared for this and there’s nothing wrong with it. You’ll grow your wings, angel, and I’ll help you do it when you’re be ready.”

That was when I started crying.

The tears were rolling down my face, making me want to bury my face into the pillow and not face Maksen’s gaze again. I felt so ashamed now, but also relieved that everything stopped. I put my hands on my face, trying to hide my tears, but he quickly grabbed me by my wrists and pinned me with his eyes.

“Talk to me, Annalise.”

“I don’t want to,” I answered and pulled the blouse over me to cover my naked chest. “I wanted to feel you and…”

“And your wings haven’t grown yet,” he interrupted me and caressed my lower lip with his thumb.

His voice calmed me instantly, and his words made me realize what I needed – what we both needed.

“You’ll help me grow my wings, and I’ll teach you how to fly,” I said and he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Why would I need to know how to fly?”

“You’ve not accepted your past, so I’ll teach you how to fly away from it until you’ll be ready to face it,” I explained and put my hands on his face. “I’ve accepted my past and I’ve lost my old pair of wings. Now I have to grow new ones to fly towards the future, and I don’t want a future without you in it. So I'll be here with you, until we're able to fly together towards a better life.”

He remained stuck for a few moments and his lips parted, letting the air escape between them. He kissed my nose, then pressed his forehead on mine, his breath resting on my skin now.

“You’re my definition of love, Annalise. You’re the definition of why I love life and why I love being a human,” he spoke so slowly, and the tears came in the corner of my eyes. “And you’re mine, angel. You’re fucking mine.”

And that’s when I kissed him with all of my being.

I was crying, and kissing him as if it would’ve been the last day I could’ve done it.

But the world we live in cannot promise us that it isn’t, in fact, truly the last day.

30

ANNALISE

One week has already passed since Maksen and I started sleeping together and I couldn’t be happier for it. It felt comforting to have someone holding me, making me feel safe and always at peace. He made me happy.

I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore, and I didn’t have nightmares, which really shocked me.

I raised my gaze towards him, smiling in the corner of my mouth as I saw him already looking at me.

“Today is the day when you’ll meet your father again,” he said as I poured a glass of orange juice.

“Today is also the day when Katya will come back to her new home,” I quickly replied and took a sip from the juice. “Aren’t you nervous to see your future bride?”

His jaw clenched and I was pretty sure that if he could, he would’ve made me shut my mouth. Yet he kept silent and made sure to throw a terrifying glance at me.

“Let’s not call her that way, shall we?” he said, raising his eyes when Taylor entered the kitchen.

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