Page 9 of Quiet Longing

By the end of my shift, I was all set to drive back to Aunt Claire’s, but then Derek texted me about a party at their house that they were throwing to welcome Charli. My thoughts went to her as I wondered if she were the sort of person who liked parties being thrown in her honour. Personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse than being forced to be the centre of attention.

Then some kind of longing squeezed in my chest. I liked talking to her yesterday, liked how she looked at me as if I were the most interesting person in the room. Her smile had broadened for me more so than it had for the others, whichconfused me. I didn’t often get that reaction from girls, and it made me strangely nervous, something tightening in my chest when her eyes held mine. But I knew her warmth was mainly down to myFalloutT-shirt, which she was a fan of, too. Beautiful and a gamer. Could she be any more perfect?

Thinking I could spare a few hours to go to the party, I quickly called my aunt and explained the situation. She seemed hesitant but finally accepted when I promised I’d be home by ten. The only problem was, after an eight-hour shift, I reeked of body odour and was in desperate need of a shower. Remembering I had some clothes stashed in Derek’s room from the last time I stayed over, and how their housekeeper was meticulous about laundering every item of clothing that entered the house, I shot off a quick text to my friend asking if I could shower and change in his room.

Sure, man. Get your arse over here,he texted back.

That was what I loved about Derek. He didn’t ask questions about why I would need to shower at his place. He just went with the flow. It was a quick drive to their house. I parked outside, my mam’s twelve-year-old Honda looking completely out of place next to the Balfes’ collection of shiny new, top of the line vehicles.

I pushed down the feeling of inadequacy and knocked on the door. Thankfully, Derek was the one to answer, and we went straight to his room. As expected, I found my clothes neatly laundered, folded, and stored in a drawer. Derek fired up his PlayStation while I headed into the bathroom to shower.

“There are some new toothbrushes under the sink if you need one,” he called after me.

“Thanks,” I said because I did need to brush my teeth.

When I emerged from the bathroom, dried off and fully clothed—since I had no interest in being shirtless around my six-pack-having best friend—I dropped onto the seat next tohim and quietly took the spare controller. He was playingFIFA, which I didn’t mind, though I much preferred dystopian or fantasy-based adventure games to football or sports.

“So, who’s coming to this party tonight?” I asked.

“All the usual suspects,” Derek replied. “It’s going to be a quiet one. I don’t think Charli’s a big party girl. Plus, it’d be overwhelming to be the guest of honour at a party full of people you’ve never met.”

“I can imagine,” I said, eyes on the screen.

A few moments passed before I noticed Derek glancing at me. “So,” he began. “Why’d you need to shower and change here? Piss off the old man?”

His question was light-hearted. He couldn’t have suspected the way it caused dread to curl around my insides. “Something like that,” I muttered.

“Ah, that’s shite. Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.” He shot me a wink. “My bed’s big enough for the both of us.”

“The last time I shared a bed with you I woke up to your bare backside on full view. No, thanks.”

“Hey! I was drunk. And it’s not my fault I can’t sleep unless I’m naked,” he defended.

“You could at least wear some boxer shorts.”

“I can’t. They constrict my blood flow.”

“Just shut up and play the game,” I griped, not keen on visualising where exactly his blood might be flowing.

About an hour passed before people started arriving at the house. I wasn’t much in the mood for a party, but I also wasn’t in the mood to go back to Aunt Claire’s and be constantly looked at with gentle, probing empathy. This was the lesser evil, for sure.

Theo and Aidan strode into the bedroom and sat on Derek’s bed, watching us play before Tristan came in and started complaining about us hiding out and being anti-social.

“Get downstairs the lot of you,” he ordered. “It’s fucking dead down there. We need more people to liven the place up a bit.”

Reluctantly, I put down the controller and followed my friends downstairs. I wore a black hoodie and dark jeans, though, thankfully, the party was casual. Nobody was particularly dressed up. A few of Derek and Tristan’s parents’ friends were there, along with a couple of the neighbours’ kids. I wouldn’t exactly call the party dead, as Tristan had described it, but it also wasn’t a wild one like the brothers sometimes threw when their parents were out of town.

Music was playing, and there were drinks and party food. There was a laid back vibe, which, in my current mood, I found preferable to whatever Tristan had in mind. Derek handed me a beer, and I hung back, my eyes scanning the room until I saw her. Charli stood talking to her aunt and uncle, and another older couple who lived down the street. She wore ripped jeans and an oversized cream knit jumper that fell over one shoulder, exposing smooth, olive skin. Her thick, dark hair fell down her back in messy waves, and there was an easiness to her that drew me in. She laughed at something her uncle said and the light, feminine sound released some of the tension I’d been carrying around all day.

There was just something about the girl. Looking at her made all my worry and stress about Mam seem less overwhelming. I was pathetic. She spoke to me once, no, twice, and already, I’ve developed a crush. I needed to get a grip.

Somebody turned up the music, and I knew it was Tristan’s doing. If Derek was the older, more responsible brother, Tristan was the energetic, charismatic younger one. He got people going, made them excited. You could feel it in the room. He was hyping everyone up, making things more lively. I envied him that. Heseemed to take being the centre of attention in his stride. I’d always been much more comfortable on the sidelines.

“Hey, Rhys,” someone said, and I glanced down to find Nuala had come to stand next to me. I got along well with Derek and Tristan’s sister. In fact, I’d always seen her as the little sister I’d never had. She was a kind, soft sort of person. The kind of person it was impossible to dislike. I noticed her nervously worrying her lip as she watched a group of girls enter the party.

“You okay?” I asked, frowning and wondering if these were the same girls who’d ostracised her from their group at school. And if so, what the fuck were they doing at her house? Some people had brass necks.

She let out a slow breath, but I could practically feel the tension radiating off her. “I’m fine, just thought I’d hang out back here with you. How’s work going at the hotel?”

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