Page 81 of Quiet Longing

“Yes. He was trying to avoid his ex-fiancée, who I’d just met and had lunch with, completely unaware of their connection,” I replied with a grimace. “Rhys practically threw me into his office. I started hyperventilating because being grabbed is still very traumatic for me.” My voice was quiet, and Nuala’s eyes gentled.

“Oh, Charli,” she whispered, her lips forming a sad shape.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I brushed away the momentary, bristling discomfort. “Rhys, being Rhys, was very kind and understanding about the whole thing. I’m just so embarrassed, though. I hate anyone seeing me like that.”

“Rhys would never judge you,” Nuala said softly.

“I know, I just … Anyway,” I went on, shrugging off the lingering embarrassment as I pointed a finger at her. “I have a bone to pick with you. Why didn’t you tell me Rhys worked for your father? It would’ve been nice to know I was going to be colleagues with the guy I lost myfreaking virginityto.”

The server arrived with our coffees, a young, slim man in his early twenties. I could see he was holding back a grin.

Great, he’d overheard.

Thankfully, he set the drinks down and left swiftly. Nuala tore open two brown sugar sachets and poured them into herlatte. Stirring them in with a spoon, she shot me a mildly guilty expression. “I know I should’ve said something, but I’d just gotten you back, Charli. You seemed overwhelmed with everything that was going on, and you were in such a delicate state after the divorce. I didn’t want to tell you anything that might turn you off coming to live here. It was selfish of me, and I’m sorry.”

Her wide brown doe eyes were so full of remorse that I couldn’t even be mad at her. I was curious, though.

“Why would me knowing I was going to see Rhys turn me off coming to Ireland?”

“Well, hewasyour first. You two were completely besotted with each other that summer. I distinctly remember a lot of sneaking off to have sex. You weren’t as discreet as you thought you were.” She shot me an amused look, and even as a thirty-four-year-old woman, I flushed. Had we been that transparent?

“But really,” Nuala continued. “I worried you wouldn’t want to be confronted with all those memories, not when you were still putting yourself back together after Jesse. I thought you might decide against moving here and stay with your mam in Boston instead. But I missed you like crazy, Charli. I wanted you back. You have no idea what it meant to me having you come stay that summer. I’d been so lonely and depressed with all the shitty teenage drama. I literally had no friends. Then you came along, and you had my back. You helped me regain my confidence, and then when I returned to school for my final year, I had Milly. I might never have become friends with her if you hadn’t been around, giving me the confidence to invite her to hang out with us. She introduced me to her friends, and I had a whole new group. I know it doesn’t seem very important in the grand scheme of things, but having supportive friends that year was everything to me. I could concentrate on my studies andgetting into college without the stress of feeling like a friendless outcast.”

A wave of emotion rose as I rubbed at my chest. “I had no idea you felt that way.”

“Yes, well.” She looked a little chagrined after her heartfelt speech. “You gave me such an amazing experience that summer, and I hate myself for letting our friendship drift after you got married. I should’ve tried harder to keep in touch with you.”

“You did try, but I was like a cult member back then, determined to push everyone away. Jesse completely indoctrinated me.”

Nuala reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “I’m never letting it happen again. I love you so much, Charli, and whatever happens in your life from here on out, you’re stuck with me. I’ll never let us drift apart. When we’re old and grey and our future husbands have passed on, we’ll live together in a little house likeGolden Girls.”

A sheen of tears filled my eyes, but I managed to suck them back, a hint of amusement tugging at my lips. “Golden Girls. Right. I can totally see that for us. Although it’ll only be your husband who dies. I’m never getting married again.”

A flicker of surprise passed over her pretty features, followed by a hint of sadness. “Well, I guess I can understand why you wouldn’t want to, but never say never.”

“I think I can definitively say never in this case,” I replied. My resolve on the matter was rock solid. Never again would I allow myself to be chained to another person. After so many years with so little control over my life, my freedom was the most important thing. I wouldn’t give up a single grain of it so long as I lived.

“Tell me about Milly,” I said, needing a subject change. “Are you guys still friends?”

“We are,” Nuala replied, smiling. “She moved to the UK for work after she finished her degree, but we keep in touch over social media. I also visit her whenever I’m in London.”

“Nothing ever came of her and Derek? I always thought they’d end up together.”

Nuala sipped her latte and shook her head. “Sadly, no. I’m certain some stuff happened between them back when we were younger, but being that Derek’s my older brother, I don’t think she was ever comfortable talking to me about it. Whatever happened, it didn’t work out. Life goes on, I guess.”

“Yeah,” I said just as the server, who still appeared mildly amused by what he’d overheard earlier, returned with our food. We happily dug into our salads for a few minutes before I noticed Nuala studying me.

“So, you had lunch with Stephanie,” she said, the statement open ended and inviting me to say more.

“I did.” My stomach sank a little. Stephanie and Maeve had invited me to eat with them again, but I’d had to use my lunch breaks the last few days to sort out some employment and tax paperwork, so I couldn’t join them. Also, it felt off to befriend Stephanie knowing she was Rhys’ ex. I doubted she’d be comfortable having lunch with me if she knew our history. She was clearly still processing the breakup. I decided that I’d remain a cordial acquaintance and colleague instead of a work friend.

“And? What did you think of her?” Nuala went on.

“Why does my opinion matter? They aren’t together anymore so …” I trailed off, shrugging.

Nuala pressed her lips together. “Well, it’s just that Derek, Tristan, and I were discussing it, and we think something happened that Rhys isn’t saying. Like, one day they were engaged, and the next they weren’t. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Did Rhys say why they broke up?”

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