Page 66 of The Accidental Ghost

And that made her angry. So very angry.

Holding on to Frank’s slimy tail, she sank her teeth in deep, feeling it flail and squirm, making her gag, but she held fast while Frank screamed, swinging around until she was no longer on his back but once more on the floor, sputtering in the water.

Sliding, scraping, whipping through the last embers of the flames, his tail still in her mouth.

“Get off me!” he bawled. “Get her off me!”

Nina ran for him, grabbing Frank by his horns, wrenching him upward to look him in the eyes, her hair flattened to her skull from the water, her clothes soaking wet.

“I will fucking rip your tiny scaly balls off your slimy body and laugh while I pop ’em like baby balloons, you stupid fuck!”

“Frank!” a booming voice rang out, making everyone halt.

From the light, an angel appeared, his wings glorious, his robes shimmering, his hair red. “What the bloody fuck is going on here, Frank? Stop squirming or I’m gonna have to use your horns for toothpicks, you wank.”

The angel swooped in with George and Dex right behind him, standing in front of Frank, who now cowered in Nina’s grip.

“Holy cow,” Shamus muttered, his jaw unhinged, his hat mashed down on his head from the tsunami.

The moment he put his arms down, the water stopped rushing, the waves stopped crashing against the light’s walls.

“Titus?” Nina called out, sloshing her way through the dissipating water, running her free hand through her soaking-wet hair. “How the fuck are you, big guy?” She threw Frank to the ground with a hard shake and opened her arms.

The angel flicked the cigarette he had in his mouth to the ground. He grabbed Nina up in a bear hug, planting a kiss on her cheek before brushing the water from her eyes.

“There’s my beautiful vampire. How the fuck are you?” he cooed. “Damn you’re hot, little lady, even soaking wet. It’s all I can do not to rethink this whole angel bullshit with you in the mix, my saucy minx.”

Nina actually giggled, giving him a squeeze before he set her on the floor, welcoming a sopping-wet Marty and Wanda into his wide embrace.

“Titus!” Marty and Wanda squealed against his broad chest.

He inhaled long whiffs of their hair. “Like damn flowers on a rainy spring day, you two are. Good to see ya. Hate that it’s this turd who brought me here.”

He glared at Frank, who quivered on the wet floor, before the angel turned to Ralph with a smile so perfect, so beautiful, her heart filled with gratitude even though she had no explanation as to why.

“And you? You must be Raphaela. Damn, I’m sorry you didn’t get the uzhe treatment when you died. You deserve trumpets blaring, angels singing, a gosh dang fucking parade with your own float. The afterlife failed ya, pretty lady, but I’m here to make it up to you.”

He pulled her to her feet with a gentle tug for such a large man, using the long arm of his robe to dab at her hair and face.

She spat the chunk of Frank’s tail from her mouth, wiping her lips with the back of her hand and giving him a guilty look. Fighting a gag, she confessed. “I bit him,” she murmured, looking at this magnificent man with apologetic eyes, her clothes dripping, her feet frozen.

Titus gripped her hand that much harder, the warmth of it filling her soul, making her forget the putrid taste in her mouth.

“You sure as shit did, little lady. Doesn’t taste like chicken at all, does it?”

When she stared up at him with reverence, almost afraid to laugh, everyone else laughed for her.

She looked around in surprise. “You all can see me? Hear me?”

“Of course they can,” Titus assured her with a wide grin, pulling her into a hug that felt like everything all at once. “That warm feeling when you touched my hand was me giving you all your powers. Your permanent psychopomp powers. Welcome to the fam, beautiful lady.”

“Can you do something about the bad aftertaste in my mouth?”she whispered against his broad chest. “Demons definitely don’t taste like chicken.”

He threw his head back and laughed, long and loud. “For suresies,” he said with an affable smile, cupping her cheek until the horrible aftertaste was gone and the interior of her mouth tasted like toothpaste. Peppermint, to be specific.

Looking down at her body, Ralph let her hands roam over her wet waist, her hips. “I’m not transparent anymore?” To test that theory, she ran to Nina and grabbed her hand, and it didn’t fall away in a puff of smoke. She felt everything…her lean, cool fingers; her smooth, wet skin.

Ralph laughed out loud, jumping up and throwing her arms around Nina’s drenched neck. “I can touch you! You can’t call me Glow Stick anymore! Hah!” she cried out in happiness, kissing Nina on the cheek before she rushed about touching everyone.

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