Page 44 of The Accidental Ghost

His ears flapped, his steps spry and happy. He stopped right in front of her but didn’t look at her. Instead, he looked through her (no pun intended) and sniffed, deeply, completely.

As if he approved, he sat down beside Ralph and curled up.

Dale. This must be the infamous ghost-sniffing Dale.

She smiled down at him, wishing she could touch him. Instead, she stroked his head, her hand disappearing through his snout. He might not be able to feel it, nor could she, but it made her feel better.

“You must be Dale, huh, sweet baby? I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’ve heard a lot about you. So many good things. Aren’t you the loveliest, handsomest boy? And you have a great owner. He’s been really kind to me, and I was just a total jerk to him. What do you have to say about that?”

Dale snuggled in right near her with a soft moan, closing his eyes with one last huff.

Ralph chuckled. “I’m glad to see you agree.”

“Ralph, sweetie, are you all right?” Wanda asked, her eyes warm and soft as she sat on her haunches to look into her eyes.

“I was a total asshole.”

And she had been. She’d reacted to old feelings, and she’d acted like a petulant child. It was unacceptable. Her old resentments had bubbled to the surface in an angry boil and she’d lashed out at Shamus, who’d done nothing but try and help.

Wanda chuckled softly. “Not a total one, but I take it this has to do with something none of us are aware of. I think you know Shamus would never intentionally keep something from you without good reason. I know we’ve only known him for a day, but I have it on good authority that he’s a great guy.” She paused for a moment, letting Ralph digest her words, before she asked, “Do you want to talk about what triggered you? If not, I get it. I don’t want to pry, but sometimes it helps to talk about how you feel and how this is all affecting you.”

Running her hands through her hair, Ralph shook her head, scrunching her eyes shut as if she could block out her shame. “Do I want to talk about my pathetic display of baggage? Not really, but I suspect this is the part where I head to baggage claim and pick up my luggage anyway.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t fucking want to,” she heard Nina say as she sat down next to her, cross-legged. “But it’s our experience that it helps if you do. So what the fuck, Glow Stick? Why’d you go off on Ghost Talker? He was just lookin’ out for you, managing your expectations.”

Looking out for her. Of course, that had been what triggered her.

Ralph shrugged, tucking her long skirt under her legs. “It’s sort of a stupid parallel, I guess.”

Wanda cocked her head, the tendrils of her hair wisping around her face. “It’s not stupid if it triggered something in you. Sometimes this journey, this paranormal thing, heightens every cell in your body. You’re raw, afraid, on edge, exhausted from the unknown. It only stands to reason that if Shamus did something that doesn’t sit right with you, you’re going to lash out. Ask Nina. She lashed out all the time, at us specifically.”

Nina made a face at the memory, but she nodded. “I hate to admit it’s the fucking truth, but it’s the fucking truth. I did lash out, because anger was all I damn well knew, and I was angry someone had taken my chicken wings forever. I couldn’t eat anymore. I could only sleep during the damn day for the longest time and that’s just the half of it. It sucked. Now, Wanda and Marty? These two sissies cried all the time. It amplifies how you’re used to handling shit, that’s all.”

That made so much sense, it made Ralph’s teeth hurt.

With a sigh, she began to explain. “My mother was a great parent, but sometimes—scratch that—all the time, she was very protective of me. In this day and age, it’s called a helicopter parent. She?—”

“Smothered the shit out of you, did she?” Nina provided with a smile.

Winding her hair around her fist, Ralph nodded. “Yes. She overwhelmed me with her need to keep me safe. To an extremely heightened degree. Now, looking back, I’m guessing it was because she was a single parent, and she didn’t have the luxury of referring to a partner for backup, but her need to keep me from harm left me afraid. Afraid of everything. Afraid of people and new places. Afraid something really bad was going to happen, afraid of what happens after I die…because she threatened Hell more times than I can count. Afraid all the time.”

“Hell?” Nina repeated. “Explain.”

Ralph sighed, looking down at Dale. “My mother was also very religious. She watched all the televangelists, sent them money. She strongly believed in Heaven and Hell, and the punishment the devil would dole out if I did something wrong. For a long time as a child, I was terrified of the devil. Now I know he’s real.” She shuddered.

Wanda sighed, pressing her fingers to her throat. “So you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop?”

Ralph’s laugh was a little bitter. “The funny thing is, because nothing bad ever happened to me, I obviously don’t know how to behave when something bad does happen. Like when someone murders me. I mind my manners. I always do the right thing. And I never, ever question authority.”

“That’s ’cause you were afraid the devil was gonna come get ya. Damn, that’s some bullshit. My nana Lou is super Catholic, but even she didn’t use it to scare the shit out of me. That sucks.”

It had sucked, but as she grew older and saw it for what it was, she resisted by way of keeping her skepticism to herself. Turned out, her mother had been right. At least about the actual place existing.

Ralph fiddled with her bracelets. “There were so many things I wasn’t allowed. Sugar, for one. Television, which is why I’m a TV-watching whore now. Staying up late, dances, school trips. The list goes on and on.”

Wanda looked at her, her expression bewildered. “I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry. I can’t imagine so little joy.”

But Ralph shook it off. “Anyway, tonight, when I realized Shamus was keeping something really important from me, something that could change the whole trajectory of this ghost stuff, for the first time ever in my very carefully cloistered life…I reacted. And it was all wrong. To boot, I aimed it at the wrong person. All my resentment, all my pent-up anger, spilled out and all over him.”

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