Page 31 of The Accidental Ghost

Darnell gave her an odd look. “No one can touch ya?”

Ralph shook her head in disbelief. “No. Only Shamus, another long story, but none of the ladies can touch me. No one.”

“Maybe in Hell my powers are stronger?” Darnell mused.

Ralph sighed in defeat. “There are so many nuances to being paranormal. Regardless, I don’t know how I got there.”

Shamus scratched his head, but his gorgeous green eyes were filled with concern. “I don’t know how you got there, either. One minute you were here, the next, you were just gone.”

“So what you’re saying is, as a ghost, I can just randomly disappear with no rhyme or reason and land in Hell?”

He ran his hand over his tanned face, his brow furrowing. “I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. This has never happened before. I’ve never dealt with a ghost of this nature.”

“I thought you were the fucking expert?” Nina said, jabbing him in the arm with a finger as she cradled Blanche.

“Nina, relax!” Marty demanded. “We’re supposed experts, and we don’t always have all the answers, either. I’ll put a call into George and see if she can poke around the Heavens and maybe explain this. Until then, knock it off. The man’s doing everything he can to help. We all are.”

The guilt Ralph was feeling for consuming their entire day and night only intensified. They’d been so incredibly kind to her, and she’d taken up enough of their time. She didn’t want to disturb any more of their schedules, their lives.

She might not be the bravest, but she’d figure that out, too. She always did.

As she hovered, Ralph looked at them. “Listen, I’m doing nothing but disrupting your lives, and you’ve all been really lovely. Now that I know I can leave the castle without a vortex sucking me into its black claws and Blanche is safe, I can just go back to my apartment. It’s not like anyone will know I’m there once Shamus’s fairy dust wears off, anyway. I’ll be fine.”

“The fuck you will, Glow Stick,” Nina groused. “You got some trick tryin’ to choke you out. Accident or not, you’re not goin’ anywhere without us. Besides, Carl wants to meet you. He’ll be back a little later tonight with my husband, Greg. They’ve been on a golfing trip. He’d be so pissed if he missed you.”

But Ralph shook her head, even if her heart felt empty. “I can’t let you do that. It’s too much. I can wait for Carl and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Of course, you can, Mistress Tucci,” Arch said with a smile, appearing out of nowhere. “You shall stay until this has been sorted. You’re safe with my girls. They’ll make certain of it. While I realize food isn’t on your agenda at the moment, I insist you sit with us and at least endeavor to partake of our family time. I’ll hear nothing further on the matter.” He motioned toward the dining room table, clicking his heels. “Now, come. Dinner is served.”

Marty grinned, a gleam in her eye, pointing to the dining room. “You heard him, and when Arch says it’s family time, it’s family time. Get a move on!”

Her heart warmed in her chest. She ate alone all the time. It was just her and Blanche most nights. She’d seen their family dinners. They were always filled with laughter and plenty of food.

Even if she couldn’t eat whatever delight Arch had cooked up (and apparently she could afford to miss a meal or two, after seeing her chalk outline, thank you very much), it would be nice to be a part of their circle.

As they all took their places around the long wood table, and Arch filled it with mountainous plate after mountainous plate of food she found herself salivating over, Shamus sat next to her.

Leaning in, he whispered, “I’m sorry I don’t know more about exactly what’s happening, but I’m still convinced you’re a psychopomp. It’s the only explanation for what happened with Gloria.”

Ignoring the shiver his voice sent skittering up her spine, and the tickle his beard made against her ear, Ralph sighed. “Right. I’m the ghostess with the mostest, yes? Because I’ve been a good girl all my life, I get to take only the very best of the best to the afterlife.”

“There’s more. There’s so much more, Ralph,” he said with such conviction, such passion, it took her breath away. “And as soon as we get with George and Dex, I hope we have more answers. In the meantime, we’re going to try a séance. I’ve had some success with them. Until then, I’m asking you to be patient with me. Can you do that?”

She could think of a lot of things she could do—especially to him.

Stahhhp behaving like a horny teenager, Ralph.

Why was this happening in her life now? Where had a guy like him been when she was alive and capable of going on a date, sharing a meal with a prospective suitor?

Maybe this deep pull she was experiencing was the result of the trauma of her death—like trauma bonding. Or maybe she was just long overdue for a little…

Ahem.

Straightening, Ralph cleared her throat, nodding. “I promise to try, but I have to say, I hope you’re right. Hell was terrifying. It made me glad I was such a goody two-shoes all my life. But I do wonder, how did a guy as sweet as Darnell become a demon? Hell feels all wrong for a nice guy like him.”

Darnell leaned across the table, planting his big forearms on the surface and grinning at her. “Long story, but the short end of it is, I sold my soul to the devil.”

Oh. Ralph blanched.

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