Page 32 of The Accidental Ghost

Nina cackled at her reaction. “It’s true, but it was all bullshit, and one of these days, when we don’t have to have a fucking séance to contact your new damn friends, we’ll tell you all about it.”

“A séance,” she mumbled. “Do they really work?”

Shamus stuffed a forkful of scalloped potatoes into his mouth with a nod. “Sometimes. I’ve done a few successfully for ghosts who’ve contacted me and wanted to speak to their families. It’s an easy way to relay messages to them from the afterlife without them thinking I’m a complete whack.”

Wanda nibbled on a buttery dinner roll. “But how do you convince them their family members contacted you? Don’t they think you’re trying to bilk them out of money?”

Shamus nodded. “They sure do, but typically the ghost has given me some kind of sensitive information only they’d be privy to, and I share that with them. Plus, I don’t take any money. Also, It’s not something I do often. Mostly, people contact me for the reasons Nina did. They want me to rid them of an unwanted ghost.”

Ralph made a face. “Did you call me unwanted, Vampire?” she teased.

“Damn straight, I did. How the fuck did I know you were a mild-mannered school teacher who owns a damn bookstore? We deal with a lot of crazies. I’m just lookin’ out for my own, and I knew somethin’ wasn’t right here. Now I know why, Glow Stick.” She winked.

She giggled, wishing with all her heart she could have but a taste of the delicious looking fried chicken Arch had made in copious quantities. “Point for the vampire.”

“Anyway,” Shamus continued. “If I can get at least one ghost to show up who might know something, maybe we can figure out what’s going on up there.”

“Will they be able to tell me why I was in Hell?” Simply saying that made her stomach somersault.

“Speaking of Hell, did the person who grabbed you say anything? Did you see anything? Can you give us even a small clue as to where you were within Hell. There are levels, you know. It might help to know which one you were on,” Marty inquired, wiping her mouth with a linen napkin.

Ralph, once more, was gobsmacked. “You’ve been to Hell, haven’t you?” By now, she should be numbed to the fantastical events these women had been a part of, but Hell? C’mon.

Marty nodded, her perfectly highlighted blonde hair shiny under the chandelier above the table. “Yeah. Not a great time. It involved Wanda’s sister, Casey. She’s a demon, too.”

No. Not now. No more paranormal adventures for the moment. She wasn’t equipped for the brain overload after a trip to Hell.

Wanda reached over and tried to pat her hand, without success. “I think Ralph needs a break from our shenanigans. How about we talk about what happened,” she pointed to the floor, “down there.”

Ralph told them what she saw, and what the man who’d tried to choke her said.

“Any idea what part of Hell she was in, Darnell? I don’t know if that shit’s gonna make a difference, but it can’t hurt to know.”

Darnell set his fork down. “The bad part. Where it’s dark, and the scum of the Earth go to be even scummier.”

Ralph gulped, but she remained silent.

Marty nibbled at her nail. “He said you couldn’t shut up that night either? I’m banking on it being the guy who unalived you. It makes sense. Can you remember anything about your death, Ralph? Anything at all?”

Pausing, Ralph shook her head. She’d really tried to remember what happened that night for days now, but it was all one big blank, black slate. One minute she was unpacking boxes, the next…nothing.

“I’ve tried. Believe me, while I was floating around here this last week, I tried hard. I can’t remember anything.”

“What about his voice? Did you recognize it at all, Ms. Ralph?” Darnell asked before taking an enormous bite of a crispy drumstick.

“Nope. Nothing. And when he grabbed me today, I only saw him briefly. It was a total flash of a blur.” Ralph shrugged, feeling a little defeated. “Maybe I’m a different kind of traumatized than Shamus thought. Maybe, being that the category of ghost I am is so confounding and rare, so are the symptoms? Maybe I am traumatized, but not in a way you’ve ever experienced?”

Shamus planted his arms on the table. “Maybe that’s true. There’s a first time for everything, I suppose. I’m hoping we’ll at least have some answers after the séance. For now, that’s all I have.”

Marty slapped her hand on the table with a smile. “So, a séance it is. Nina, get the candles and the sage! We have some ghosts who have some splainin’ to do!”

Chapter

Eleven

“Are you fucking serious, Ass-Sniffer?” Nina flicked her fingers at Marty’s head. “Quit bein’ such a damn dingbat.”

Marty batted her hands away, giving her friend a saucy grin. “What? You don’t like my turban, Vampire?” She smoothed a hand over her colorful turban with a jaunty peacock-blue feather sticking out on the side. “I dressed for the occasion. So sue me.”

---