Page 40 of The Try Line

"It had nothing to do with you," I lie, because Janel turning up pregnant was exactly why everything happened the way it did.

It probably would have happened eventually. I can't imagine Mik would have traded me out for my sister and flaunted our relationship to the world. He’d just gotten his first taste of something new and exciting. The novelty would have worn off, and then things would have been awkward. He’d have turned into yet another ‘straight’ guy that wouldn't be able to look me in the eye in public when he was done experimenting and realized the realities of an out gay relationship.

Especially in this small southern town, I got a lot of looks and bullshit for being out and kept mostly to myself. Mik knew that. Hell, he'd thrown more than one punch at an opposing teammate or random homophobic asshole in my defense. Just because he defended me doesn't mean he'd want to live it. And when the shit hit the fan that morning, and I sat down to think about it, I knew I couldn't handle watching him pretend we were nothing. I was already afraid that he'd change his mind, but once Janel dropped that bomb, I knew he would.

"Well, something happened. If it wasn't me, what was it?"

"It's complicated." I don't have an answer for him other than that.

Jase drains the rest of his beer and crosses his arms over his chest, thumbing the label on the bottle. Just when I think he's given up, he looks up at me with a penetrating gaze that I'm pretty sure was handed down by my ancestors. It's a genetic trait that my grandma passed down to my mother, who passed it to my sister, who apparently passed it to her son. The gaze that makes you feel like they can see through you and read all your thoughts.

"Because you were in love with him."

It's a statement, not a question. A probe into my inner secrets that dares me to lie to his face. His face that looks so much like Mik's at his age, with the exception of that damn glare burning into my soul. I feel certain he can see the truth, so I try to find an answer that will satisfyhim.

"They didn't need me complicating things," I say, forcefully peeling my gaze away from him. I grab a fresh beer and crack it open, looking into the depths of the bottle like it can save me from this conversation.

"Whatever happened back then doesn't matter. What matters is that you are loved so fucking much, and not one person regrets you coming into our lives. Your birth changed everything, yes, but in a good way. Everything is exactly how it's supposed to be."

Jase doesn't look impressed by my declaration.

"Except he was in love with you, too."

I snort and nearly choke on my beer but try to play it off like I think it's funny. "Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

"He doesn't join us on our calls, but he listens in and thinks we don't notice. Whenever anyone talks about you, or when we watch your matches on TV, he pays such close attention you'd think he had a vested personal interest. He makes a point to show how little he cares, but it's so obvious that he's trying to cover up just how much he really does care."

"None of that means anything. We had a past. He was my best friend. We did everything together, but we drifted apart. It's happened with a lot of friends that have gone the family route. They leave us bachelors behind."

"Just admit that you were more than friends.”

I rub my hand over my face, trying to think of a way to change the conversation. Entertaining this conversation with my nephew, of all people, is insane. "Jase–"

"Don't patronize me, Uncle J. I'm not an idiot."

"Even if it were true, even if any of this had merit, what makes you think it matters? The past is in the past. Mik is a married man, and your father. He's married to my sister."

Honestly, it's a reminder I needed to give myself. The way I acted last night, the anger and jealousy I felt seeing him cozied up on the porch swing with Janel—it's fucking stupid.He's a married man.

"And he's fucking miserable!" Jase snaps a little loudly.

I'm thrown back at his tone. I cut my eyes towards everyone else to see if anyone noticed his little outburst. Janel and Mom have retired into the house to get the side dishes ready, and Dad is filling a plate with grilled chicken. Mik holds the plate, watching us with furrowed brows.

"Can you keep it down? You're being ridiculous."

"They aren't right for each other. I think it's always been obvious, but it's not until the past couple of days that I've figured out why."

My eyes lock with Mik's again, as he passes us on his way into the house with the plate full of food. My dad calls for me and Jase to come eat. I stand up and head their way, grateful for an excuse to put this conversation behind us.

"You're still in love with each other," Jase calls out behind me.

I spin around and shush him, looking around to see if anyone heard him. It's unlikely, considering we're outside and the back door is shut. It was a knee jerk reaction. I panicked.

By the knowing smirk on my nephew's face, I’ve all but proved his theories.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You're still a kid, Jase."

"I'm legally an adult, nearly the same age Mom and Dad were when they had me. I'm also not blind."

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