Page 85 of Utah

Utah’s eyes glassed over. “You want to name him after me?”

“Of course. You’re his father. And you’re the strongest, bravest man I know.”

“Paul.” He sat with it for several seconds before nodding. “Thank you.”

“And if you don’t mind, I’d love for his middle name to be Matthew, after my father.”

“Paul Matthew Kingsley,” he said. “That’s a great name.”

“Kingsley?”

“Yeah, that’s my last name,” he replied, as if I’d forgotten.

“I know that, but I was gonna give him my last name, Grayson.”

“Why?” If he frowned any deeper, he’d have a permanent crease in the middle of his forehead.

“Because we’re not married. And I’d like to have the same name as my son.” Utah stared at me for a moment before he handed me the baby and walked toward the chair in the corner of the room. “Don’t be mad, I just think it would be easier—”

The rest of my words evaporated when he spun around to face me, opening a small black box. He was next to me before my lungs took in enough air to ask him what was happening, even though I already knew.

“How about we all have the same last name?” He slid a gorgeous square-shaped diamond ring on my finger. “I’ve been carrying this around for months, and the only reason I didn’t propose before today was because I thought you might think it was too soon. But I don’t want to waste another minute.” The love shining behind his eyes made my heart soar. “Will you marry me?”

There wasn’t a second of hesitation before I answered.

“Yes,” I said emphatically as my vision blurred. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

As he leaned down to kiss me, sealing our destiny together, I wasn’t only saying yes to his proposal but to a life with a man whose strength inspired me.

Yes to a future with someone who cherished me as I did him.

Yes to the person I wanted to grow old with, raise our son with, and deal with life’s ups and downs.

My heart swelled with love as I looked from our baby to his father.

The man of my dreams.

My future husband.

I told you he’d do something that would make you love him more.

“Hey, buddy. You want me to break you out of there?” I moved toward my son’s crib with my arms outstretched.

The second he saw me, he spit out his pacifier and reached for me. “Dada.” I made a funny face, and he laughed. “Dada.” I’d never get tired of hearing him say that. The other word he was fond of wasNo, which disappointed Ria because she wanted him to sayMama. I was sure he’d say it soon, but for now, I’d reveled in the temporary special bond my son and I shared.

As soon as I picked him up, he rested his head on my shoulder and tugged on my beard.

“Do you know today’s your first birthday?” The inflection in my voice rose whenever I spoke to him. If anyone had asked me a year ago if I could see myself using baby talk and volunteering to change diapers, I would’ve told them they were crazy. That wasn’t me at all. I wasn’t sentimental. I wasn’t overly emotional, other than when it came to Ria. But ever since Paul was born, something inside me shifted, and I let go of a lot ofmy demons. Some still resided, but I’d buried them so deep, they didn’t bother me as much. I turned all my energy to my fiancée and my son. They were the two most important people in my life, and I’d waited for them forever, even when I didn’t realize it.

“There you are,” Ria said, rushing into the room. “Hi, baby.” At first, I thought she spoke to me, but then she kissed the top of Paul’s head. “Can you zip me up?”

She took the baby from me and turned around. She was ecstatic the pale blue sleeveless dress she had in her closet finally fit her again. After I finished, I playfully smacked her ass. She looked at me over her shoulder and winked.

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

Some weeks we struggled trying to find time for sex. Either she was exhausted from taking care of Paul or he was fussy. My one-year-old cockblocked me more times than I cared to count.

“As long as he goes down for his nap after the party, I’ll be good to go.”

---