Page 68 of Utah

“I swear to God, this better be an emergency,” I grumbled as I reached for the handle. I swung open the door and spoke before registering who stood on the doorstep. “What do you want?” The shock of seeing him erased the residual sleepiness. “Will, what are you doing here?”

Both of his eyes were black and blue, and he had a thick bandage over the middle of his nose. He looked more like he’d gotten into a terrible car accident than beaten up by another human being.

“Can I come in? I’ll only be a minute.”

“I guess so.” I stepped out of the way so he could enter, but he stood frozen in place.

“Ishe here?”

“No.”

He crossed the threshold but stood near the door.

“Do you want something to drink?” I didn’t know what the protocol was for this situation, so I blurted the first thing that came to my mind.

“No, thanks. I won’t be long.”

I pointed at his face. “Is it as painful as it looks?”

“Not as long as I don’t move any part of my face.” His attempt at a joke fell short because neither of us so much as smiled afterward. “I was lucky it was just a broken nose.” He pointed to his mouth. “Two cracked teeth and a busted lip.”

“I’m so sorry. But I’m happy you’re gonna be okay. I was worried.” Everything between us that happened aside, Will didn’t deserve what happened to him.

He shifted from one foot to the other, his nervous energy bringing on a bout of anxiety on my end.

“And I’m worried about you, Ria. I admit that I misinterpreted your feelings for me, saw something that wasn’t there, and I shouldn’t have taken the liberty I did the other night when I kissed you. I was embarrassed that you didn’t feel the same, and I didn’t handle your reaction well. I’m sorry about that. But your guy came after me like he was punishing me for attacking you or something.” His voice was riddled with apprehension. “Right before I blacked out, I saw how scared you were. And I don’t think your fear was entirely because of what was happening to me. Am I wrong?”

His words hit me hard, and even though I tried to think of a response that would contradict his accurate assessment, I didn’t have enough mental energy left to lie.

“You’re not wrong,” I said, holding up my finger as if the gesture could convince him of whatever came next out of my mouth, “but Utah wasn’t himself. I didn’t recognize that guy. He’s never flown off the handle like that before.”

“And when he does it again, what are you gonna do? It’s notjust you anymore, Ria. You’re having a baby. What happens if he hurts—”

“Stop. He would never hurt me or our baby.” I placed my hand over my belly, believing my words, but a wave of doubt squeezed my heart.

As Will took a step closer, his eyes filled with pity, like I was the one who’d been beaten. “If you want me to pursue charges against him, I will. If that’s what will keep you safe.”

“I am safe.” A need to defend Utah crept over me. “But you do what you need to. For yourself.”

I wanted to plead with him not to pursue charges against the father of my baby, but what Utah did was uncalled for. A singular punch would’ve been out of line, let alone beating the hell out of him. In the end, this entire situation was out of my hands.

“Okay.” I wanted to ask him whatokaymeant but kept my lips sealed. “That’s all I wanted to say.” He stared at me a beat before turning and walking out of my house.

I closed the door behind him, replaying every detail of the encounter, from the damage to his face to the concern for me in his eyes. I was happy he was going to be okay, but I couldn’t get over the pang of reservation his words caused regarding Utah.

Was I scared of the man I loved? If I was being honest with myself, my answer would be 99 percent no. It was that pesky and alarming 1 percent that held me hostage to the thought that perhaps, given another perfect storm of circumstances, Utah could lose control again. I couldn’t predict the future, but I sure as hell could do everything in my power to structure a safe one for me and my baby.

“You’re being dramatic,” I mumbled to myself. “Utah wouldn’t hurt you or his child.”

Hearing my words out loud helped a little, but I believed only time would convince me fully. How well did we reallyknow someone anyway? Everyone had secrets. Everyone also had triggers.

A knock at the front door pulled me out of my head, and for a moment, I thought Will had come back again, but when I looked out the side window, I saw Utah’s truck in the driveway.

The second I opened the door, I chastised myself for thinking anything negative about the man standing before me. The downturn of his mouth and the lines etched around his eyes were filled with heartache and regret.

“Can we talk?” he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and keeping his distance so as not to crowd me.

“Come in.” The tiniest smile graced his mouth right before he stepped inside. I gestured to the couch, and we both took a seat—this time next to each other. “Before you say anything, there’s something I should tell you.” I’d learned my lesson the hard way. No more secrets. I wrestled with one deep breath, then two. “Will came by about twenty minutes ago.” A flicker of anger resided in the flare of his nostrils, but otherwise, he didn’t react.

---