“You kn . . . know what I meant,” he garbled.
Kena and I walked through the house until we reached the front door. As my fingers circled the handle, my sister tapped my arm once more.
Are you sure you want to let him in? If you really don’t want to see him, I’ll tell Jagger to take him away. Your choice.She stood back to give me space, gifting me with a sympathetic look. She knew I was torn up over Ryder because I’d confided as much after a few glasses of wine the other day.
“May as well get this over with.” My sister nodded. I pulled open the door and was almost hit in the face. Ryder had his fist raised, ready to pound the wood when I’d suddenly appeared.
“’Bout time,” he grumbled before entering our house, not a care in the world that I’d told him to go home moments prior. “You got anythin’ to drink?”
“You’ve had enough,” Jagger and I said simultaneously. Grinning, Jagger kicked the door closed behind him before grabbing Kena’s hand, leading her back to her room and leaving Ryder and me alone, standing in the middle of the entryway just staring at each other.
After neither of us spoke, I flipped the deadbolt and turned around, heading toward the couch. I doubt he’d be able to make it much farther, so the sofa seemed like the best idea.
Planting myself down, I folded my arms over my chest, much like I’d done at his place right before we started arguing about him not opening up.
“What do you want? What couldn’t wait until a decent hour?” My eyes raked over him as he leaned against the wall, no doubt needing the structure’s support to hold him up. His dark eyes were glazed over and droopy but he was still coherent. He looked scrumptious, even while inebriated. His dark hair was sticking up on top, the result of him tugging at it I was sure. His teeth captured his bottom lip while he contemplated his answer. “Well?” I prompted.
“I wanna see ya.”
“Why? You made it perfectly clear you don’t wanna let me in. That we’re nothin’ more than just fuck buddies, so why the scene? Why all the dramatics?”
He pushed off the wall and slowly put one foot in front of the other. The look in his eyes was definitely predatory. Drunk or not, Ryder had a way of making me feel all hot and bothered with a simple glance.
Damn him, and damn my overactive hormones.
“Stop right there,” I warned. “We’re not doin’ anything. You can sleep on the couch, but then you have to leave in the morning. I’m not staying out here with you, and you sure as hell aren’t coming to my bedroom.” I made a move to stand, but he was on me before I could get my feet underneath me.
His hands wrapped around my waist and as he crashed down on the couch, he spun me around and hoisted me on top of him. It happened so fast I had no time to fight him. The only thing I could do was plant my hands on his hard chest to ensure I didn’t fall over. I straddled his lap, and he wasted no time leaning in and trying to kiss me, but I dodged his advances before his mouth could connect with mine. While I wanted nothing more than to give myself to him, he’d only hurt me. One way or another.
“Stop it, Ryder. I mean it. You can’t just wake me up in the middle of the night, barge into my house and have sex with me. It doesn’t work that way.” I struggled to get off him, but his hold was fierce. Not painful but definitely strong.
“I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” He didn’t answer me right away, so I tilted my head and repeated, “You can’t what?”
“I can’t get you out of my head.” He leaned forward, his warm breath lapping over my collarbone. The smell of beer would’ve been overpowering had his other scents not filled my nose as well. One of leather, the outdoors and his natural male scent.
“So you said.”
“I’m not foolin’ ’round here, baby.” He raised his head and his mouth was millimeters from mine, his tongue wetting his bottom lip and turning me on like he normally did. I hated my body’s reaction, and the last thing I wanted to do was give in to this type of behavior, but I feared my heart and hormones were going to win the battle against my brain.
“Really? ’Cause I thought that’s all we were doing.” I arched my brow, leaning back so our faces weren’t so close.
“I didn’t mean it,” he confessed. “You just got me all twisted up inside.” He threw his head back against the top of the couch, his hold on my waist still ironclad. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about you. All I do is worry.”
“What do you mean ‘worry’?” I knew the answer as soon as I asked, but thankfully he didn’t remind me of the supposed threat.
Again I tried to move and again he held me to him, my thighs on the outside of his muscular ones. If I sat in the same position for too long, I’d start to cramp up, and then he’d have to let me up. Unfortunately I was probably close to ten minutes from that situation.
And a lot could happen in ten minutes.
Bodies could become one in ten minutes. Then again, hearts could be crushed in ten minutes as well.
“Can’t you forgive me?” he asked, that time looking directly into my eyes. I studied every facet of his face, like I’d done many times before, only this time there was a sadness and vulnerability laced behind his stunning browns that I hadn’t seen before. Maybe he really was all twisted up inside like he’d said.
“You never apologized,” I reminded him. “Not once did you say you were sorry.”
His hands moved from my waist and traveled up my body, finding their place on my cheeks. He pulled me close, his mouth practically touching mine when he said, “I’m sorry, baby. Please forgive me.”