Page 3 of Shattered

It was as if there was an imaginary electrical current passing between us whenever we shared the same space.

Spinning around slowly, I chose to keep my eyes closed longer than normal.The more seconds which passed where he didn’t infiltrate my world, the better.I knew I was being ridiculous, but it worked for me.

I eventually opened my eyes and there he was, standing not two feet away from me.

Dressed in one of his designer suits, he should have looked impeccable, but instead, he appeared disheveled.His hair was behaving in the unruly way which made him look sexier, even if I hadn’t wanted to notice as much.But it was his face which displayed all the hurt and agony he was going through.Still the most handsome man I’d ever seen, he looked beat down.And ragged.There were dark circles splayed underneath his eyes, no doubt from lack of sleep.His posture was one of defeat, portraying a heartbroken man to anyone who cared to pay attention.Inoticed, simply because I shared the same affliction.

Was it merely a coincidence Alek had been waiting outside the same bar where Alexa and I had agreed to meet?Had she set the whole thing up?Had they been in contact with one another?If so, how often had they been talking behind my back?Too many questions raced through my mind, but there were no answers.None which would have calmed me down, at least.I was beyond upset.I knew she was only trying to do what she thought she should, but it didn’t stop me from being pissed at her.We would surely be having words as soon as I arrived home.

Seeing him again brought everything back to the forefront.

The lying.

The betrayal.

The heartache.

Realizing being so close to one another wasn’t a good idea, I turned away and walked briskly back toward my car.

His car.

Whatever.

I’d only agreed to keep his extravagant gift until I purchased my own, but since we weren’t together anymore, I wanted to give it back immediately. I tried, numerous times, making Alexa follow me to his house to drop it off in front of his gate, but he kept returning it.So I gave up until I found a way for him to keep it for good.

I didn’t make it far before he was right on my heels.“Sara, please stop.I need to explain myself.Please, just give me a chance,” he pleaded, reaching out and gripping my elbow.His hold threw me off-balance, allowing him to whip me around so we were face to face again.

Our whole situation quickly replayed in my head, from how I felt when I was with him, to our lustful nights together, to the discovery of his secret.So many emotions plagued me.But unfortunately, none of them were going to save me from what I was about to do.

Or should I say…save him from what was about to happen.

Before my brain could shut down the impulse, a quick rush of air broke the silence between us as my palm connected with his cheek.

I wanted him to hurt the same way I did.

My hand instantly started to throb.Surprisingly, he stumbled back a step, actually having the decency to look ashamed. “I deserved that,” he muttered.He kept his eyes locked on me, waiting for something.Anything.Waiting for me to speak, or maybe waiting for me to strike him again.

I did neither.

We stood there for what felt like an eternity, eyes locked on one another.I couldn’t help the sappy emotion which chose to take hold.I missed him.Missed looking at his face which I loved so much.Missed his smell and the feel of being held in his arms.I missed talking to him and sharing stories.Hell, I even missed arguing with him.

But no amount of missing could obliterate the feeling of hopelessness which wrapped around me.And if I didn’t do something about it soon, it would swallow me up and never let me go.

He was the first to break the uncomfortable silence.“Can we go somewhere more private so I can fully explain myself?”His dejected gaze pleaded with me to give him the chance he needed, but I couldn’t do it.Not right then.

“I can’t,” I said softly.I wanted to yell and scream at him, but what good would it do?“I don’t have anything to say to you, Alek, and quite honestly, I don’t care to hear what you have to tell me.”I looked down at my shoes.“I need more time.”

If Alek had been a sensitive man, I would have thought our situation was weakening him.His eyes were glassy and red, indicating he was going to cry.But that wasn’t him.He was strong and unwavering, passionate and dominant.Yes, there were glimpses of sensitivity I’d seen during our time together, but it was mostly during the intimate times we’d shared.The far-off look which would take over his features as if his feelings toward me were too much for him.

But I knew he was only doing his best to not get caught.What I’d thought were genuine feelings for me were simply disguises for the secrets he held close.

He sucked in a ragged breath and straightened his spine.“How much time?I can’t bear to be separated from you.”He never broke eye contact, pulling me in with his steadfast gaze. “You have to believe I was only looking out for you, trying to keep you safe.I swear it.”He advanced toward me, reaching out to try and touch me.I backed away.When he saw I was ready to leave again, he uttered the words I’d only dreamed about.“I love you, Sara.I love you so much I can’t breathe without you.I would never, ever, do anything to hurt you.Please…”

Feeling as if someone had gut-punched me, I stumbled backward, thankfully catching myself before I hit the pavement.Why did he have to tell me he loved me for the first time under these circumstances?Why couldn’t he have gifted me with his words after a night of making love?Or just during any of our other encounters?I would have even accepted them during one of our heated arguments.But not there, not like that.I found I was still affected by them but not as much as I would have liked to have been, due to our unraveling relationship.

“If you loved me so much, you should have been honest with me about whatever was going on right from the beginning.”Realizing I couldn’t torture myself any longer, I turned back around and continued on toward my car, trying to escape the hurt emanating from every pore of his body.

Thankfully, he didn’t try to stop me.

---