Page 4 of Shattered

~3~

Sara

“How many times have you talked to him, Alexa?” I shouted, unable to control the rising octave of my voice.I tried to coax myself down from the ledge the whole time I drove home, doing my best to convince myself my best friend did what she thought she should.But the fact of the matter was…she betrayed me.She handed me off to the wolf with no regard for my emotional safety.

Since I had no idea who Alek really was, she also put me in physical danger.Who the hell knew what he would have done to me, given the right, or wrong, circumstance.In reality, did I think he would ever harm me?No.But I’d been wrong about him so far, so I couldn’t trust my own intuition when it came to him.

Thankfully, nothing happened from our little surprise encounter, other than him getting smacked, of course.While it should have made me feel good to lash out at him, it made me feel worse.He had reduced me to someone who I didn’t recognize.I wasn’t that person.I didn’t purposely hurt people, emotionallyorphysically.

But when I was around him, all sense of my true self flew right out the window.

With my hands on my hips, I crowded Alexa’s personal space.Advancing a single step in her direction caused her to fall down on the couch.She looked up at me with regret and sadness in her eyes.She knew she fucked up, but I still wasn’t going to let her off the hook too easily.

“How.Many.Times?” I repeated.

I’d never seen Alexa Bearnheart back down from anyone before, but she knew enough about my state of mind to not mess with me.She was playing the role she should, of a friend who did me wrong.

Looking down at her lap, she answered.“Only a few times.”When she heard me gasp, she snapped her head up to look at me.“I swear, Sara.I never meant to go behind your back.It’s just…”

“Just what?”

A long sigh fell from her lips.“He sounded so lost.His voice cracked when he was begging me to put you on the phone.I swear to Christ, Sara, he sounded like he was going to cry, and although it shouldn’t have, it broke my heart.”

Alexa reached out to snag my hand in hers, but I moved away.I loved my friend, but right then I would end up smacking her if she touched me.

So many emotions dueled inside me.It was as if I wasn’t even in my own body, the feelings I was experiencing so foreign to me.I wasn’t even over the feelings Alek evoked from me and there I was, dealing with Alexa’s betrayal.Maybe I was overreacting a little, but I didn’t care.She had to know how much she hurt me.

The last thing I wanted was to feel as if I couldn’t confide in her.I had to know that what I told her would be kept between us.That she had my back, no matter what.

“Your loyalty is to me, Alexa.Not him.What you did was wrong.”I took a seat next to her on the couch, still keeping a safe distance.“I know you think you were only trying to help me.But you have to let me deal with this on my own terms, in my own way.OnlyIwill know when the time is right to hear what he has to say.”My anger slowly waned, the look on her face making me want to comfort her.But I didn’t.She had to know I was serious.

“I’m so sorry.I swear I’ll never talk to him again.”Her nervousness had her biting her nails, a habit she had tried to break over and over again.“I merely thought if I could arrange for you two to meet, to talk, you would resolve this issue and get back together.I mean, come on, Sara. If there’s no hope for the two of you, then what chance doIhave?”She attempted to smile but faltered, her grin never truly reaching her eyes.

“Alexa, I have no idea why he has all those freaking pictures of me.For all we know, he could be some kind of crazy, psycho stalker.”

“You know, deep down, he’s not.Although, he’s not making a good case for himself right now.I get it.But you won’t know until you give him a chance to explain.”She moved closer and grabbed my hand.I let her.“I love you.I only want what’s best for you.I thought if you would hear him out and give him another chance, you could get the hell out of this funk you have yourself in.”Squeezing my palm in hers, she said, “But I’ve learned my lesson.Trust me.I won’t interfere again.Do you forgive me?” she asked, looking hopeful I would say yes.

“I suppose.” I shrugged.“But if you go back on your word and talk to him behind my back…I won’t forgive you again.”

“I promise.No more. I won’t even say his name.”

“Good,” I said, desperate to change the subject.

After we were done talking about the latest gossip at her job, I decided what I needed was a nice, long, hot shower.

The spray of the water did nothing but wash away a tiny amount of tension from my body.Did I really think a hot escape would do the trick?Maybe.A little.

I should know better than to hope for such things.

As my head hit the pillow and my eyes became heavy, I prayed for my dreams to give me some reprieve.Ever since I ran away from Alek, my nightmares had come back in full force.

Or should I say memories?

I didn’t want to do it. I willed my mind to go somewhere else, but it didn’t listen.As I drifted off into an uneasy sleep, the recollections of long ago rushed forward with a vengeance, wrapping their harsh, ugly hands around my soul andsqueezeduntil I’d given in.

For the first time in almost eight years, I’d let myself drift back to the day I was taken.

~4~

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