Page 23 of Surviving the Darkness

“Hello, Meadow. I’m glad to see you using my open-door policy. I’m surprised you brought someone along with you, though. Can you introduce us and tell me why you’re here,” the doc suggests.

“Thank you for having me back today. This is Ethan. He’s an old friend of mine, who I haven’t seen in a long time, and he wants to help me when I’m discharged. Also, there are some things I want to tell him, but I wanted you present, so he can help,” Meadow says.

“Absolutely, I’m glad you’re trusting someone to help you with your trauma. This is a big step toward healing. Just tell him what you’re comfortable with, and I will add input when needed. Other than that, I will stay silent,” Doc says.

Meadow nods her head, takes a deep breath and exhales. I can feel her breath brush my cheek before she turns fully to look at me, prepared to tell me what she needs to.

“Okay, so just bear with me and don’t interrupt,” Meadow says, and I nod, not wanting to speak until she tells me to.

She takes my silence as an okay to start speaking. “Five months ago, I was taken from a restaurant while I was out with my best friend. The person who took me was my stalker, and I never imagined he would go so far as to actually grab me. Clearly, I was wrong. I was unprepared for what happened next. At first, I tried to escape but quickly realized I needed to save energy. I waited until we’d stopped somewhere, but when I tried to make a break for it, I learned he had a friend. The friend stopped me, and they took me to a basement where they held me for months.” Meadow takes a shaky breath before continuing.

“I fought as hard as I could the first few days, and my kidnapper hated my fight, so he stabbed me. I stopped fighting after that,” Meadow says quietly as she tears up.

“You’re doing really well, Meadow. Take a moment before the memories overwhelm you,” Doctor Storm says, and Meadow nods her head, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing.

“Thanks, Storm,” she says, a watery smile on her face.

“When they wanted to play with me, I was chained to a hook, and there was only one dim light in the room. I wasn’t even allowed to use a toilet; I was forced to use the corner of the basement and a bucket. They barely gave me food or water, just enough to keep me alive, so they could continue their torture. The mental torture was worse than the physical torture. I spent every day hearing how worthless I was, that no one wanted me. I was just there for them to use and nothing more,” Meadow continues, her voice flat.

Tears form in my eyes, and my stomach turns at the thought of what she went through. I know I need to keep it together for her, but how can I? I fucking hate what she endured, and she hasn’t even told me everything. I’m not sure how she survived the things she did; I’m not sure I would have, if I had been in her position. I bat away my tears, steeling my emotions, so she can continue. She shouldn’t need to stop because I can’t control myself.

“He raped me. I don’t remember when it happened the first time. I think it was after he stabbed me. Every day he came downstairs and used my body for his sick pleasure, not just my holes but carving into my skin as well. I really thought I would die down there when my stalker finally told me his name. Damon. He had a blade he used while violating me and marking my skin, ensuring no one would want me again. I was able to block out a lot of the pain. I went into this state where everything was blank, and I’m grateful for that, so I didn’t have to live through every second of the torture Damon came up with that day,” Meadow says as tears stream down her cheeks.

I want to wrap her in a hug and reassure her I’m here, but I don’t know if that will help Meadow or make things worse. I look to the doctor to see what I should do here. She looks at me and encourages me to comfort her. Slowly, I move closer to Meadow, giving her the chance to move away if she wants,before wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into my body to comfort her the best I know how. She wraps her arms around my waist and lays her head on my shoulder as she cries out all the pain she’s been holding in. As I hold her on the sofa, I can smell her hair; the shampoo she used has a flowery, clean scent, and I inhale as much of her as I can to calm my emotions. Meadow is safe in my arms, and nothing is going to happen to her again.

She pulls away slowly, and I reluctantly let her go, so she can sit up straight. I wipe the tears from her cheeks and kiss her forehead, needing to comfort her and let her know I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I know there’s a lot more to the story, but it can wait. She’s already told me so much, and I don’t want to push her. I wish I could take her far from here so she could take a nap after reliving what she went through. I know I’m exhausted just listening to her story, and I’m not the one having to tell it.

“Why don’t you tell me the rest another day? I’m so proud of you. We can schedule another trip to Doctor Storm. I’m sure she will have her door open another day for us. Isn’t that right, Doc?” I say.

“That’s correct. I’m proud of you, Meadow. Why don’t we call it a wrap for today. I’d like to talk to Ethan alone for a minute if that’s alright with you,” Doc asks her.

Meadow nods her head and leaves the office after telling me she’ll be waiting in her room and to find her when I’m done. I nod and watch her leave. Damn, she makes hospital attire look so fucking good. I turn my attention to the doc to see what she has to say.

“Thank you for being here for Meadow. She has been through so much in such a short time. Being with Meadow and helping her isn’t going to be easy. She will have good days and bad days. I know you care for her; I can see it with my own eyes. She needssomeone to be strong for her. I hope she has that with you. If she does, and our next meeting goes well, I will consider letting her out early with the stipulation that you help her through this,” Doc says.

“I love her. I’ll do everything I can to protect her, even if it’s from herself. She’ll live with me when she gets out. I moved back to the States for that woman. I promise that I’ll be whatever she needs,” I tell the doc.

“Good. Now, I would like to see you here again tomorrow for Meadow to finish telling you the rest. I hope you have a good night, Ethan. It was very nice to meet you,” Doc says as I stand up and shake her hand.

I like her. I think Meadow found a good one here, and I’ll need to ensure she keeps seeing her once she’s released from the hospital. I walk back to Meadow’s room to say goodbye, but when I walk inside, I find her fast asleep on her bed. I don’t want to startle her or wake her up, so I quietly shut her door and head for the exit. Before I take off, I ask the nurse to let Meadow know I went home and that I will be back tomorrow.

Chapter 23

Meadow

I’m startled awake, looking around to find out where I am. A layer of sweat sticks to my skin as I take in my surroundings, heart beating out of my chest. Dizziness sets in, and my eyes blur until I can focus on where I am. I’m in my hospital room. I’m not in the basement. Relief fills me as soon as I realize that. My heart rate slows, but I can’t stop the memories from assaulting my mind. Flashbacks of Damon’s torture replay in my head.

I didn’t take my sleeping pills after the session with Storm, and I’m regretting that decision. I thought I was only going to take a nap but, apparently, I slept through the night. Yesterday's eventsflash through my mind as the effects of my nightmare wear off. I never even asked why Ethan was here; I was so shocked to see the man from my past that I didn’t even question his presence, not really anyways. If he shows up today, I’ll have to talk to him about it all.

I stand and stretch my limbs, feeling the tightness of my skin from the scars that litter my body. I fucking hate the feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin. I know it will take time, but I still fucking hate it. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted, but that's exactly what Damon wanted when he did this to me. Even from the grave, he haunts me.

I wish I knew the reason behind his stalking, but I never had the courage to ask because I didn’t want to make things worse for myself. Sighing heavily, I walk to the bathroom and use the toilet, then wash my hands before going to the nurses’ station to ask for food. I missed dinner last night, and I’m starving. I can finally eat solids without a stomachache, and I enjoy some flavor now too. My body slowly remembers how to be a human again, instead of a prisoner fed only a few times a week.

I’ve finally gained a little bit of weight back, and I’m happy about it. I never thought I’d be happy to put on the pounds, but here I am. I’m not an idiot. I know my recovery will take a while, and I finally see the error of my ways, but I still don’t want to see the guys because of what they put me through. But I know that I could have gone about it in a different way; at least that's what Storm says.

“Hey, can I get something to eat? I think I missed dinner and breakfast, and I’m starving” I ask the nurse sitting at the desk.

“Hey, yeah, I can call for a tray to be sent up. Meadow, right? My name is Minnie. Once the food is here, I will come in with your medicine. It’s nice to meet you,” Minnie says.

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