Page 20 of Surviving the Darkness

“A man? I don’t know who else would want to see me but send them in, I guess,” I tell her because I’m truly curious as to who it is. I don’t think anyone knows I’m here besides the guys, and I know the nurse won’t fuck that up again. The last time they were here, I went into a full-blown panic attack and had to be medicated. So... yeah... It’s definitely not them.

The nurse comes back with a tall man, maybe five-foot-ten, with dirty-blond hair styled to the side. His eyes are bright green; he’s wearing designer jeans, a henley shirt, and loafers. Everything about the man screams wealth, and I recognize those eyes, but my mind can’t picture where from. How do I know this man and why is he looking at me like I hung the fucking moon?

“Hello,” I say politely, though I want to be anything but.

“Hey, lightning bug. It's been a long time,” the stranger says with a sexy British accent.

Holy fuck… Ethan? It’s Ethan!! It has to be. He’s the only person to ever call me lightning bug.

“Oh my god!!! Ethan!” I screech as I get up and rush toward him. I give him the biggest hug I can manage, and when my face hits his hard chest, I start crying.

All the emotions I’ve bottled up inside me break free as I hug this man. The man I cared for so deeply before he moved away, and I never heard from him again. Sobs wrack my body as Ethan holds me tight. This is the first time I’ve willingly let another person touch me since I was taken, and it feels so good. He smells like whiskey and cotton; the mixture intoxicating, and I could smell him all day.

Ethan holds my head against his chest and pets me softly as he moves us toward the bed. We sit down together because I refuse to let go of the man I never thought I’d see again. The nurse laughs and walks away, leaving us to our reunion. I haven’t seen this man in years, and it looks like time has treated him well. Ipull my face away and wipe my tears with one hand while the other is still wrapped around him.

“I-I don’t understand-d,” I say in between sobs.

“What don’t you understand?” Ethan asks.

“How are you here right now? How did you know?” I ask.

He pulls back slightly, and a sheepish smile adorns his face. “The guys called me, told me you were hurt and needed me. I was on the next flight out of London,” Ethan says.

“Wait, Knox called you? That doesn’t make sense...” I reply in confusion.

“We can talk about all this later. I just want to hold you right now, if that’s alright,” Ethan says.

I just nod my head. We can discuss everything later. Right now, I just need to be held by this man. We lie together on my bed for a little while in comfortable silence. I’m sure there are probably rules against this, but I assume at least a few of the employees here are on the guys’ payroll because the nurse hasn’t been back to check on us. I’m not complaining if it means I get to spend time with my long-lost best friend.

“You’re the first person I’ve let touch me since everything happened, you know,” I whisper as I lie across his chest.

“Well, I am honored, and I’m thankful you approved me to come see you. I know it’s been ages since we’ve seen each other, but the moment I got the call, I knew I had to come see you,” Ethan says in a hushed voice. His deep voice helping me relax.

“Thank you for being here. I honestly thought I had no one, and I’d have to go through this alone,” I whisper.

“You will never be alone again. I have you now,” he states, his expression serious.

The thought of never being alone again fills me with immense joy, the kind of joy I’d not felt in a very long time. But I'm afraid it won't last. Nothing ever lasts.

My mind begins to spiral into panic and remind me that I’m not worth having around. I’m useless, why would anyone want to keep me? My breaths turn into heavy pants, and I feel like I can’t breathe. The voice in my head won't shut up about how worthless I am, and I can’t stop the panic from taking over.

“Baby girl, look at me. You are okay. I’m not leaving you. I’m here. I’ll always be here from now on. Just breathe with me, okay,” Ethan says, taking a few exaggerated breaths for me to match.

I try to pay attention to him to ground myself, and once I see the love and care shining in his eyes, my lungs heave in a full breath that then makes me cough uncontrollably.

“I’m so sorry!” I cry out.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. Now tell me what happened, so I know what not to say right now that may trigger it,” he says.

“Umm, it’s not what you said; it’s where my mind went. When I was down in the basement, which I assume the guys told you about since you are here. The guy who captured me constantly reminded me I was useless, worthless, and that no one wanted me. That’s why I didn’t get rescued,” I whisper. Ashamed that he knows what happened to me.

“You are loved beyond words, Meadow. I’m so sorry that happened to you, baby, but I will prove to you every day that you’re worth everything,” he says with conviction and kisses my forehead. His lips linger on my skin for a minute before he pulls away.

I thought I was getting better, but having him here makes me realize I’ve only been masking my feelings. I guess I’ll need to talk to Storm about it because I want to be worthy of the man who flew halfway around the world for me. I need to figure out how to live up to his dreams while still accomplishing my goals. How the fuck am I going to do both?

Chapter 21

Ethan

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