Page 2 of Surviving the Darkness

Doc comes out of the room, his face an ashen color, his eyes misty. Walking over to where we are sitting against the wall, he clears his throat.

“Brace yourselves for what I am about to say. It isn’t good news, gentlemen.”

Nodding my head and taking a deep breath, I prepare for the news I know will shatter my world. I look over to Knox and Phoenix; they look like they are preparing for the news. Knox’s fists are balled tightly, his knuckles turning white. Phoenix keeps tapping his legs in rhythm, trying to stay calm. I know he wouldrather workout right now, but he is at war with his need to release his anger but not leave Meadow. I can’t say I blame him. The need to beat the shit out of a heavy bag is strong, but I can’t tear myself from her side either.

The doctor explains his findings, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Her injuries are extensive. She has lacerations over most of her body; she is malnourished; her fingers and toes were broken; she had a dislocated shoulder that wasn’t set properly, and it seems she was raped repeatedly. There are signs of trauma to her vaginal canal. I don’t know what she endured, but whatever it was, it was severe. There is a good chance the woman you knew may not be the same one currently in the room. You will have to be patient with her. I want to run further tests because I think she also may have broken ribs, but I can’t be sure. If you can get her down to the office for x-rays, the images will be able to tell us more. I am sorry to tell you this, but she may need more help than you three can provide.”

Raped… my mind can’t get past that word. Someone dared to touch our woman. I don’t hear the rest of what he says. I’m reeling from the bomb he just dropped on us. The woman we love may never be the same again. Meadow is in there somewhere; we just have to get her back. We’ll have to prove that we still want her and love her. We’ll show her that we aren’t going anywhere.

The doctor leaves us sitting on the floor, and my heart shatters for the girl on the other side of the wall. What happened to her? A tear trails down my face, and I wipe it away, only for another to follow its path. How are we going to help her through this? The girl we love is broken in more ways than one. I look at Knox, hoping he has the answers.

His eyes glisten with tears, and he looks utterly distraught. Looking back at me, I see his pain behind his eyes that mirrors my own. The man is barely holding on and, unfortunately, thereisn’t anything I can do to make it better. Clearing my throat, I stand on unstable legs and make my way to the girl I love.

Entering her room seems like an invasion of privacy after what the doctor told us, but I can’t stay away, no matter how much I know she probably needs it. When she wakes up, her life is going to change. I don’t think she realizes she is safe now. I know we failed to protect her before, but I will do everything I can to protect her now—even if it’s from herself.

Staring at the skinny, broken girl in front of me, brings tears to my eyes. It appears she showered while there, as there isn’t caked-on dirt, but there is dried blood on her body, and her hair is greasy. She looks too thin now, her ribs showing, not protruding but noticeable. Her thighs are skinnier than I remember, and her stomach is caved in a little. Her captors clearly wanted her alive but didn’t care to feed her much. I walk over to her and lift her frail body into my arms, so I can wash everything off her.

Heading to the bathroom, I notice Phoenix helping, but Knox is nowhere to be seen. He’s taking it the hardest; he thinks he failed her. We all do really, but we have her back now, and that is all that matters. Phoenix gets the bath water ready, and once he’s done, I hand her to him, so I can strip down to my boxers, then lower myself in the water. After I settle, Phoenix hands her back to me, and we all soak in the tub. I hold her while Phoenix washes her body, tears running down his face with every pass he makes across her skin with the towel.

The water is dark brown by the time we are finished. Phoenix grabs her from me and wraps her tiny frame in a towel as I step out. My thoughts are muddled by what I saw. Someone carved ‘mine’ into her back and their initials on her chest. She is still as beautiful as ever, and the kidnapper may have thought he could take her from us, but he was wrong. Meadow will always be ours. I can’t believe the asshole had the nerve to mark her beautifulskin with lies. If he wasn’t already dead, I would have enjoyed torturing the fuck out of him.

We work together to get her settled back in bed with some fresh clothes, and she finally starts to stir. I’m surprised she hasn’t woken up before this since we spent fifteen hours in a car and another two hours waiting for the doctor. The woman has been out for almost twenty-four hours.

Meadow wakes with a gasp, her eyes frantic as she looks around, searching for something or someone. Her eyes land on me, and she sits back up on the bed, her back against the wall. She moves as far from me as she can and wraps her arms around her legs to protect herself.

The look in her eyes breaks my heart; she’s afraid of me now. I would never hurt her, but with everything she’s experienced, she doesn’t seem to agree. I’ll just need to prove to her that she’s safe, and I won’t harm her. No one ever will again. Her eyes never leave me as I slowly raise my arms showing her that I mean no harm. “It's me Aidan. I won’t hurt you, Meadow. You are home. You are safe,” I tell her.

“No, you aren’t here. This is some fucked-up nightmare or something. You aren’t real!” Meadow cries.

“Baby, I assure you, I am real, and this isn’t a dream. We found you and brought you home,” I explain as calmly as possible.

“Why?” Meadow asks.

Her question leaves me utterly confused. I tilt my head, trying to find answers in her stare. What does she mean? I don’t understand what she is asking, but I don’t want to be rude and make her feel worse than she probably does. “I am sorry, sweetheart, why what?” I ask.

“Why did you come for me? You should have left me there to die.”

My jaw drops, and I am stunned silent. What the actual fuck does she mean? Leave her there… Um not a fucking option. Iknow Meadow has been through some shit but, Jesus Christ, she can’t be suggesting what I think she is. What the actual fuck?

“What the fuck do you mean, princess, by leaving you there? We were always going to come for you. We spent the entire time you were gone frantically looking for you. Not once did we stop searching!” Phoenix says, anger laced in his voice.

I’m not sure if he’s angry with her or the situation. I’m just utterly fucking shocked right now. I wish I could speak, but no words come to mind. Sighing, I gingerly make my way to her side, moving slowly enough not to scare her. I sit on the edge of the bed and ask for her hand. She looks at me like I am insane, so I just stay put at the edge of the bed. I want nothing more than to comfort her but, right now, she sees me as the enemy.

With another heavy sigh, I rub a hand down my face and try to figure out how we can convince her that we are her home. We always have and always will be her home. “Meadow, I need you to look at me when I say this. We spent months searching for you. You are the love of my life, and I’m sorry we failed you, but these past few months were the worst of my life. We didn’t know if you were alive, or what condition we would find you in. Hell, westilldon’t know who took you! The moment we got news of where you were being held, we headed straight for you. So don’t ever say we should have left you there!”

I need her to see how much pain losing her caused me. She’s my entire fucking world, and I couldn’t protect her, no matter how much training we had, in the end, it didn’t fucking matter. The three months she was missing were the worst I’d ever endured. Feeling selfish for thinking about myself, I can’t imagine what she went through. Fuck.

My blood boils every time I look at her, and I try not to show it. My anger isn’t directed toward her, but when I see the hurt in her eyes, it makes me murderous. I should hit Jace up to go hunting, but I’m pretty sure he’s dealing with the aftermath ofSkylar being kidnapped. I’m not sure what she went through, but I know it wasn’t as bad as Meadow. Not saying her feelings aren’t valid and that she didn’t go through shit because she did. Huffing out a breath, I stand from the bed and head toward the door.

I need space before I say something stupid out of anger. If I stay in this room and stare into the eyes of the girl I love, only to receive fear and loathing when she looks back at me, I will lose my shit, and she doesn’t need that from me. Meadow needs strong support right now. Phoenix is still in the room, so he can offer her comfort or something that resembles it.

Looking back at Meadow one last time breaks my heart. She is so fucking tiny and broken. I just wish I could hold her and tell her everything would be okay. Fucking breaks my heart because I had just won her back before she was taken, and we were finally in a good spot. Now, I fear we are all back to square one. Meadow will need to learn to trust me again, trust us again. Making her fall in love with us for a third time will be difficult but not impossible. We’ll just have to erase and replace her memories of what that monster did to her. Showing her how much I love her is easy, but proving I mean every word is going to be rough if she isn’t ready to hear them. I know that everything is on her timeline, and I will be ready for her whenever she’s ready for us.

Chapter 3

Meadow

Lying in this bed feels wrong. The mattress is too soft, and the comforter is too warm. Everything right now feels foreign. Waking up with Phoenix and Aidan in the room feels like a fucking nightmare. I want to wake up, but the reality is, I know I’m already awake. I’ll just have to figure out how to escape. They don’t want me here. They just feel bad about leaving me all those months ago, however fucking long it was. I was getting used to my life in the basement. D didn’t punch me anymore, and I was starting to get food on a daily basis. I even got to shower twice a week, so my stench wouldn’t turn him off.

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