Page 30 of Conflict

“What’s wrong? Is it Jo, the baby?” I’m racing down the stairs taking them three at a time to get to her, she’s ashen and looks like she might collapse. “Is it you, are you hurt?” I’m mentally taking in all her vitals and coming up with nothing.

She shakes her head, her hand resting upon her chest as she reaches out for me with her other hand. “It’s Scarlett, she’s okay but she’s been in an accident.”

My world falls apart. For the second time.

“Jamie, she’s okay but she’s at the hospital. Rachel just rang, she couldn’t get hold of you. Is your phone switched off?” I can hear her speaking and I can see her mouth moving but none of it is registering. The only bits I heard are accident and hospital.

“Where are your keys?” frantically, I push my feet into the trainers I’d left at the bottom of the stairs and grab my jacket. “Keys, Mum!” I shout at her. “I need to go, I need to see her,”

Mum shrugs her arms into her coat, and pulls her car keys out of her pocket. “You’re not driving, I’ll take you.” She ushers me out of the house and locks the door behind us. “You’re in no fit state to drive.” She says as she unlocks the car and jogs around to get in. When I haven’t opened the door to get in, she reaches across and pushes the passenger side open, “Jamie, are you just going to stand there or are we going to the hospital?” It’s all I need to get me moving.

When we pull into the hospital car park ten minutes later my blood pressure is through the roof. There’s a ringing in my ears and I feel sick. “You go in, I’ll pay the parking and come find you.” I leave her rummaging around in her bag looking for change for the machine as I race across the road and onto the hospital grounds. As the doors to the emergency department slide open, the smell of disinfectant hits me hard. There’s bile in my throat and I’m pretty sure I may pass out.

Rachel appears at my side in a flash. “She’s okay, a few cuts and bruises but she’s okay,” her hand rests on my back as I’m bent double in the doorway. “She was asking for you. Can you come in to see her? Or do you need to stay out here?” Her voice is strained, I’m not sure I believe that Scarlett is okay. I need to see her, but taking the step across the threshold into the hospital is proving far more difficult than it should. “Don’t take this as me forgiving you for being a prize twat. There’s still a chance I could kill you with my bare hands,” she says as she slips her arm around my waist and helps me to stand and regain some composure. “You’ve been a bastard to her, and we will have that conversation, just not now.” I’m grateful for small mercies, but right now I need to pull myself together and see Scarlett. I nod in agreement. She needs to have her say, I know that. “Ready?”she asks sternly, then she almost marches me through the door. “One foot at a time,” and I’m inside the hospital. “Focus on the end of this corridor, she’s just down here in a cubicle.” I lift my gaze and find a sign on the wall to fix my eyes on. With my mind set, I begin to count the steps, one, two, three, four… when I reach twenty Rachel let’s go of my arm and pulls open a door. When I look up, Scarlett is sitting up on a gurney, a hospital blanket rests across her lap and she has a dressing on her forehead. “Fuck me, you look worse than she does,” Rachel scoffs from behind me and I manage to give my head a shake.

“Can I come in?” I ask as I grab the doorframe to ground me. “Please?” The urge to storm over to her and scoop her up is strong, but somehow, I know that’s not how this needs to go down. There’s a moment of contemplation that I see in her eyes, it’s almost defiance on her part, but then I see her break. Her shoulders drop and she takes a deep breath as she nods. And I’m across the room in a flash, my hands grip the sides of her head, angling it so I can assess her for injuries. Her eyes look bright and glassy, her lips are moist and cheeks are pink; these are all good signs. My hands skim down her neck, feeling for any abnormality as I go, once I’m satisfied she’s relatively okay, I pull her into my chest and hold her steady.

There’s a cough from behind me and Rachel speaks up, “Right, well, I’ll just be right here, just outside the door. Scarlett, shout if you need me, and you,” Rachel raises her hand and points a finger at me, “You hurt her and they’ll be finding a bed for you. We clear?”

“As crystal,” I mutter before Scarlett wriggles free from my hold. “Babe, what happened?” I’m holding her at arm’s length now but I can’t bear to let go fully.

“It was on the big roundabout near Rach’s, I pulled onto the roundabout and the other car side swiped me, then I spun down the road and hit the big sign for the motorway. The car’s a rightoff!” She sobs. “I just didn’t see it; I’d turned the radio up after I ended your call and put my foot down. I just wanted to get to Rachel’s, it was all my fault.”

The reality of what she’s said hits hard.

This is my fault.

She could have died, and it’s my fault.

“Baby, this isn’t your fault at all. I shouldn’t have called; I should have left you alone. You wouldn’t be in here if I’d left you alone.” Guilt runs through my veins like iced water. But my soul searching is cut short when Scarlett’s parents burst through the door.

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing here? I told you to stay away from my daughter,” Jack marches over to me and pulls me away from Scarlett. I don’t have it in me to fight him, I’ve caused the Wood’s too much heartache as it is. Julia offers me a sad smile before she begins to fuss over Scarlett, and I turn to leave the little holding room. I’ve no option now they’re here. But there’s no way I’m leaving the building until she does. I don’t care if I have to sleep on the corridor floor.

“Dad, stop it!” Scarlett’s words halt my steps and I turn to look at her, “I asked Rachel to call Jamie. I want him here,” she holds out her hand for me to take and I go willingly. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be now. Friend, lover, partner, call it anything you like, but if she wants me here, I’m staying. We can define the parameters later. It’s then that we’re saved by the doctor who taps lightly on the door before he enters.

“My, you’re popular, Scarlett,” he gives each of us a brief nod but continues to speak to Scarlett. “I’ve checked all your x-rays and tests, there’s no broken bones and no signs of any internal bleeding so the nurse can get you stitched up and we’ll see about discharging you in a couple of hours. I’d just prefer to keep an eye on you here for a bit, if that’s alright?”

“Thank you,” We all speak at once but it’s Rachel who rescues the situation. “Jack, why don’t we go get everyone a coffee from the machine? Julia can stay with Scarlett, and supervise Jamie,” She slips her hand around the old man’s arm and guides him away from me. He visibly bristles but doesn’t argue, and I sigh with relief as the door clicks closed behind them.

“Give him time,” Julia says before I have chance to speak. “He’s still grieving, but he’ll come round. I’m sure,” I take my place, standing by the side of Scarlett’s bed and grip her hand tightly. She squeezes gently, offering what comfort she can and I feel ashamed that it’s come to this. I should be the one comforting her, yet all I’ve done is escalate the situation.

Scarlett rests her head against my arm and I drop a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “I’m tired,” she says quietly.

“Just close your eyes, try to rest until they come back to stitch you up.” My thumb rubs circles along the back of her hand. Julia’s eyes light up when she sees Scarlett snuggled into my side. “I know I’ve messed up, but I know what I need to do to put it right. If she’ll let me, that is,” I tell Julia. She’s about to answer but there’s a brief tap on the door and a nurse enters pushing a trolley.

“Can I stitch the cut for you, Scarlett?” she asks as she’s gloving up and I step aside to make room for her. “Thanks,” she says as she inches closer to Scarlett and examines her forehead. “Won’t take me long, you can stay if you want to.” The nurse says nonchalantly and Scarlett reaches for my hand again.

I guess I’m staying then.

CHAPTER 43

JAMIE

It’s been two days since Scarlett’s accident. Jack drove her home once they’d discharged her, he wouldn’t let me in the car with them, though. Thankfully, Mum had stayed at the hospital waiting for updates, so she drove me back behind their car. Jack only let me in the house because he didn’t want to upset Scarlett any more than she already was. I needed to see her home and safe before I could rest. But I made sure not to outstay my welcome even though it broke my heart leaving her. Baby steps are what’s needed now. Not only do I have to win back Scarlett, I have to prove myself to Jack again. I think Julia’s on my side though.

“You know we have to talk about the elephant in the room, don’t you?” Scarlett turn’s her face up to look at me. “I know I asked Rach to call you and get you to come to the hospital but that doesn’t make everything alright.” She distances herself a little from me, so I can see she means business. We’ve been watching Netflix all morning while she rests, her ribs are sore from being thrown around in the car, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m being a little overprotective. I’d arrived on their doorstep less than thirty minutes after she responded to my good morning text, my arms laden with freshly baked pastries and a largelatte each. “You broke my heart, and we can’t just pick up where we left off. There has to be a discussion and boundaries set. I will not let you hurt me again.” She wriggles to sit up a little straighter, wincing as she gets comfortable again, and the she lifts her water bottle to her lips. I’m not sure if that’s to quench her thirst or allow her time for composure. “I need to know you’re in this for the right reasons, and I’m not just a replacement for Tom,” I open my mouth to reassure her but she gently places a finger on my lips to silence me. “We jumped in very quickly and I’m worried we’re trying to force something that isn’t there already. Relationships need to grow organically for them to be successful. And I want this to last. If we’re doing this, I’m all in, but that means you have to be, too. You cannot decide, when you’re having a bad day, that I’m not worth it; that we’re not worth the effort to work through things. I’m not asking for much but I do deserve to be let in; to be allowed to hold you and help you work through the panic attacks and flashbacks. I want us to find a language that we can both speak.”

There was a moment, not that long ago, when I thought my life was over. A time when there was nothing but darkness, but then she brought the light. She helped to put me back together. But that’s not why I’m in love with her. I fell in love with Scarlett a lot of years ago, if I’m being honest, on a cold and rainy autumn day, when she fell running across the road to greet Tom and I. We’d come home for the weekend on leave. The jeans she was wearing ripped at the knees and the gravel tore into her skin, making it bleed. I picked her up and carried her inside, where I carefully cleaned all the dirt from her wound and put a dressing over it. She’d thrown her arms around my neck as I carried her indoors, telling me I was the best. That was the moment I fell in love, I didn’t realise it then, but man, I know it now.

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