Page 141 of Ten Mountain Men

Chapter 47

Goldie

Ichecked into the Wilderness Haven Retreat and Lodge, but only because I was too upset when I left the mountain to drive far. I was also too upset to remember that my gas tank was almost dead empty and I couldn’t go any farther if I wanted to.

I’m supposed to be at the spa, relaxing, trying to forget about everything that’s happened. But all I feel is this ache. A bone-deep misery that no amount of steam rooms, facials, or massages could rub away. I actually burst into tears when offered a mud mask. Mud is going to forever remind me of Luke.

I lie on the plush, pristine bed with the bajillion thread count sheets that smell like eucalyptus and lavender. I miss the mountain air, the scent of MAN. The sheets are silky smooth, too perfect, too clean, too curated. I miss the feeling of being wrapped up in something real, somewhere lived in.

God, I feel so lost.

I roll over and grab my phone. Before I can talk myself out of it, I dial Winnie. She picks up on the first ring, her voice instantly familiar and soothing.

“Golds! Girl, where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick! I was afraid I was going to have to come rescue you! Then I realized I don’t even know exactly where you are.”

I manage a weak laugh. “Sorry, Win. There was no reception up on the mountain.”

Which reminds me, I need to call Mother. I’m surprised I don’t have a thousand calls and texts from her. She probably already has me on some missing person’s list.

“Tell me everything,” Winnie says. “What’s happened with the documentary? How was camping? Did you find the Bigfoot of your dreams?”

“No.” I sigh, staring up at the ceiling, willing the tears not to fall again. “I’m giving up on that. I’m at this place called the Wilderness Haven Retreat and Lodge.”

Winnie goes quiet for a moment. “Okay, something’s up. Spill your guts, Golds.”

And so I do. I tell her everything—about the brothers, about the cabin, the sex and the friendship that turned into way more, about the cameras. About how I messed up, how Luke wanted me gone from the start, and how, in the end, they all sided with him. How they made me leave. I tell her about the heartbreak, about how I lost them.

“Wait, wait,” Winnie interrupts, her voice incredulous. “You’re telling me you fell for not one, but ten mountain men? You’re kidding me, right? Making this whole thing up to see if I’m gullible enough to fall for it?”

I heave a sigh. “I wish I was.”

I can practically hear her brain working, trying to make sense of it. She knows me too well. The old me would have laughed at the idea of being in love with multiple men at once. Well, except in her case. Because she and the Hammer brothers are the real deal. But everything is different now.

“Goldie…that doesn’t sound like you,” Winnie says, disbelief lacing her tone. “What happened to ‘it’s impossible to fall in love fast’ and ‘you can’t love more than one person’? Those were your words, not mine.”

“I know, I know. But…something about them, about being with them, it felt like…home. Like something I’d been looking for my whole life, and I didn’t even realize it until now.”

Winnie is quiet for a long moment. “So…you’re in love with them? All of them? Like, in love love?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then why aren’t you with them? Why are you paying to be miserable at some frickin’ overpriced spa? I just Googled.”

“Weren’t you listening? I’m not with them because they made me leave.”

There’s a heavy pause on the other end of the line.

“Goldie…” Winnie’s voice softens. “It sounds like you’re going through a lot of changes. Like…changes that are blowing my mind, so they have to be blowing yours. But the Goldie Locke I know and love doesn’t let anyone make her do anything. That better not have changed. You march back up that mountain and go get your lumberjacks!”

“I can’t, Win. I can’t go back. Not after all the damage I’ve caused.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt them, Golds.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” I say, which is so bloody basic, but I can’t even think of a decent quote.

“I don’t give a hot damn about the road to hell. I care about the winding path up that mountain to a certain cabin door. Which your ass needs to be climbing up right about now.”

I sigh. There’s no going back. But I can’t stay at the Wilderness Haven Retreat any longer. I need to get back to the city. Figure out what’s next, because moping forever isn’t an option.

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