Page 80 of Royally Drawn

It killed me to see her so upset. It made me feel worse that I had something to do with this.

“She says you’ll leave me in some state of repetitional ruin. And, maybe you will discard me?—”

“I would never just discard you, Ingrid. You’re not an old shirt. You’re a beautiful, lovely human. I could never do that.”

“But what is the longest relationship you’ve ever managed?” She asked.

I brushed her cheek with my hand. Her skin was so soft. “I haven’t been fortunate in love, Ingrid. Admittedly, my twenties were… not great. I’ve also been out of the country quite a bit. It’s not easy to date a pilot. I don’t have much beef with any of my exes. I don’t think I’ve been abadboyfriend, but I struggle to let people in.”

“Why?” Ingrid asked.

I could tell her the truth—one I loathed and rarely shared—or I could hold it in and make a joke. Most women would have probablyaccepted the latter at this stage. I sensed Ingrid might find it disingenuous and immature. I wanted to be honest with her—obligated by her trust in me to be honest. I always asked her to trustme. Now was my time to trust her.

“I have a lot of baggage that… hurts,” I said, voice emotional. “Losing my dad and becoming the man of the house—a fucking duke before puberty—was awful. And I know it was far worse for you, but… it fucks with my head.”

Ingrid sat up. “Odette always says it’s not good to compare trauma. It’s not a fucking competition. That’s her experience from years of therapy.”

“That’s wise,” I said.

“Your feelings aren’t… they aren’t hard to relate to. It’s why Alexandra’s words hurt the most. Because she’s all I have—my protector and my advocate. And if she’s against me…”

“I don’t think she is. I think she wants to protect you the best way she knows how. She’s probably a bit sus about me. That’s fair.”

I squeezed Ingrid’s hand. “My aunt said it the other day when I explained why I liked you so much.”

“You told your aunt?”

I nodded. “Yeah. We’re close. She worries about me—like Alexandra does about you. I told her that I end things before they have a chance to percolate. I end them because I think I am doing someone a favour. I think it’s usually for the best. Most people struggle enough with my title and job. Fewer still would ever see me as more than broken.”

Ingrid looked at me lovingly. In a sweet voice, she said, “I don’t think you’re broken. I think, like me, you use humour to deflect when you’re hurt. You worry about people accepting the sadness you sometimes have. Like Alex, you probably carry a load that most people couldn’t understand. That doesn’t make you broken or less worthy. It makes you human, and it means you’re compassionate.”

“I dunno. My stepbrother still wants to strangle me.”

“He will calm down,” she said. “He’s been all over that countess from wherever.”

I snickered. “I think he thinks he’s getting back at you.”

“I am only interested in you, so it’s foolish if that’s his plan. The point was you came clean and tried to do it right.”

“If I did it right, I wouldn’t have even said a word to you?—”

“That is stupid. You’re allowed to like me, Keir. Why does all of that bother you so much?”

Looking into her eyes, feeling vulnerable, I considered the why. She drew me in once more. This time, the feeling wasn’t lust. I thought for a moment. It was safety. Her words made me feel seen and accepted. No one other than my mother or aunt hadevermade me feel so cared for. I didn’t see this moment coming. I started this as a fling, wanting to satisfy her and my curiosity. Now, as she looked up at me so sweetly, I couldn’t help but want a lot more. This wasn’t just attraction. For the first time, I felt drawn to someone in this pull I could not drop. I loved this woman.Reallyloved her.

“I don’t like you,” I said.

Her face twisted in confusion. She went to stand, but I held her by the wrist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I… I think I love you, Ingrid. And that’s… that’s the issue. I didn’t realise it until now.”

She teared up again. “If this is some sort of sick game, I swear to God?—”

“It’s not, Ingrid,” I said.

“You probably say that to everyone?—”

I took her face in my hands and kissed her forehead. “No. I’ve never said that to anyone.”

Sensing she needed space; I pulled back slightly. Surprise spread across her lips and eyebrows. She was beautiful, but I adored this delicate sweetness to her the most. I didn’t expect anything in return. I didn’t think she would reciprocate. That was fine. But if I said anything else, it would be a lie, and I would never lie to Ingrid.

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