Page 82 of Proof

As incredible as what was happening to us felt, the reality of how close we’d come to losing this moment, this life-changing moment, was terrifying.

JJ’s dick was pressed between our bodies. It hadn’t softened in the least and my body was on fire with need. I could have reached between us to start jerking him off again, but I couldn’t make our bodies separate even the little bit it would take for me to slip my hand between us. His eyes were luminous when he broke the kiss. He wrapped both his arms around my neck as his ass cheeks began riding my dick hard. I kept up the pace as I maneuvered his legs so they were on either side of me. The move had our bodies completely lined up from neck to hips.

I replaced JJ’s hand with mine to keep my dick inside his crease, making sure it was deep enough that the shaft slid over his hole with every thrust. I kept my other arm around his waist to support him as I took over giving our bodies what they bothneeded. I began fucking JJ hard even though I wasn’t inside of him. It made absolutely no difference. My dick didn’t care, and based on the pool of pre-cum sticking to my abdomen, I doubted his did either.

“Love me, Cass,” JJ demanded as he clung to me. He buried his face against my neck and cried, “I need you to love me.”

“Look at me,” I ordered gruffly. My breath was seesawing out of me as I continued to ride JJ’s crease. He immediately did as I said. There was no fear or uncertainty in his eyes.

“Always,” I promised before I angled my head so my mouth could completely consume his. Just like our lower bodies were doing, our mouths made love, each one giving and taking.

JJ broke the kiss and whispered against my mouth, “I’m close, Cass. I need you to?—”

“I’m going over with you,” I finished for him. I couldn’t remember ever having come at the same time as any of my previous hookups, but it was impossible for JJ and me not to come at the same time. That was how in sync our bodies were.

“Harder,” he demanded, his lips brushing mine as he spoke. “Faster!”

I did as he said but as the orgasm crept up my spine, I knew I didn’t have much time. “Come with me, sweetheart,” I said. Like his had done, my lips brushed his in the lightest of caresses with each word.

JJ couldn’t speak but he nodded harshly and then buried his face into the crook of my neck and held on tight. I pumped my dick along his crease once, twice, and then he bit down on my collarbone as his body took control. I could feel his hot juices soaking my abdomen with every jerk of his body. I was surprised I’d even noticed that much because like JJ had wanted, we’d come at the same time. I still had my hand holding my dick against his ass when the orgasm hit. I made sure the head of my dick was just beneath his asshole when the orgasm struck. Everytime my release hit his hole, his body jerked and hot cum slid down my body. The give and take seemed to go on forever and even when our dicks were spent, the aftershocks kept hitting us.

When my body started to feel both boneless and heavy, I moved my hand and let my dick slide from JJ’s crease. Streams of thick white cum slid down his crease and dripped onto my spent dick.

“I had no idea,” I admitted even as I clung to JJ. “I had no idea it could be like that.”

JJ had once again buried his face in the crook of my neck. He wasn’t moving at all, but his lips pressed soft kisses against my neck in between his short, heavy breaths. I covered the back of his head and said, “Look at me, baby.”

He lifted his head so our lips were just inches apart. His eyes immediately locked on mine. “This was our first time together,” I told him. My voice sounded gruff and demanding, even to my own ears. “This,” I said firmly. “This wasourfirst time. Do you hear me?”

“Our first time,” JJ agreed. His smile told me what I needed to know. As intense as our sexual encounter in the shower of the cabin had been, that moment had been muddied up by the presence of the old JJ’s ghost. What had just taken place had happened with JJ, the man clinging to me like there was no other place in the world that he was supposed to be. There’d been no ghosts, no memories that weren’t equally shared, no regrets, and no confusion afterwards.

Just me and JJ making love.

Justus.

Me and my JJ.

“I love you,” I whispered.

JJ’s eyes shimmered. He no longer doubted thathewas the one I loved with everything I was. I didn’t care if his memory of our time before the shooting ever returned. We’d already madeso many new memories that the old ones paled in comparison. I would treasure them for what they’d been, but the man trembling in my lap was the one I would be spending my future with.

“I love you so much, Cass.” JJ fell silent as he stroked back a lock of damp hair that refused to be anywhere but brushing over my forehead.

He continued to toy with my hair as he continued speaking. “My dad, he used to talk about my mom and how much he loved her, but I never really got it. I thought I did but I didn’t. Now,” JJ said as he gave up on taming my hair and dropped his eyes so he was looking at me, “now I get it.” He nodded in slow understanding, looking like he’d stumbled onto some profound discovery.

“I get it,” he repeated and then kissed me sweetly. “So, um, what date was that because I’m pretty sure we hit the fast-forward button somewhere along the way.”

“That wasn’t a date, JJ. That was…us,” I said with a light chuckle because there was just no other word for it.

As I maneuvered our bodies under the covers with JJ already asleep on my chest, I came to a stunning realization. All the holes that had been punched through my soul in the past two years had been filled in, and for the first time in my life I felt something I hadn’t believed possible.

Whole.

I was finally whole.

CHAPTER 26

Jj

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