Page 83 of Proof

Ifoolishly assumed that I’d hate fighting with Cass now that we were a couple, despite hearing rumors that the make-up sex that came afterwards was more than worth it. The idea of great sex after a fight made no sense at all to me.

Until today.

The heated words had started flying the moment the issue of visiting Cass’s grandmother had come up. His need to see his grandmother had been undeniable, especially after our conversation about his father’s potential involvement in what had happened to me. Cass, being Cass, had ordered me to stay on the houseboat until he got back. I, being myself, had told him I was going with him and if he tried to leave me behind, I’d find my own way to get to the Ashby estate.

Now, our words were just running together to the point that neither one of us was really saying anything. The heated argument had started in the master bathroom as Cass and I had been getting dressed. We’d remembered to keep what would have normally been a full-on shouting match toned down enough that no one outside the houseboat would hear us. By the time we’d made it downstairs to the kitchen, the fight had onlygotten worse. I’d always been good at playing mediator during domestic squabbles, but when it came to Cass, I didn’t have the filter I used to have. I gave as good as I got, and either one or both of us had gotten in the other’s personal space. It turned me on. Something about fighting with my obstinate man stirred up the always simmering lust inside of me until it was a full-on inferno.

“God, you’re such an ass,” I snapped impatiently as Cass continued to talk over me. I turned my back to him so I could temper not just my anger, but my growing hard-on. “Look, maybe we just need some time apart?—”

That was all I got out before Cass spun me around and crashed his mouth down on mine.

“No,” he growled and then he was kissing me again. His hands roamed all over my back until they settled on my ass. He gripped my ass cheeks hard, lifting me at the same time that he forced me back several steps. I realized he’d taken my words about spending time apart literally. I had absolutely no desire to end whatever it was we had between us, but even if I’d wanted to clarify that point, Cass made it impossible because his mouth feasted on mine, leaving me breathless. His strong fingers didn’t ease up at all, even when my back hit the edge of the kitchen table. By the time he lifted me so I was sitting on the table, I’d forgotten what we’d been fighting about in the first place.

Cass practically ripped my shirt off me as he dragged it over my head and threw it to the floor. My socks and shoes were gone in a flash and then my pants and briefs were being dragged off my body, leaving me completely naked while he was still fully dressed.

For a second, I thought the whole thing had been a setup so he could escape me, but when his heavy hand pushed me down so I was flat on my back on the table, I knew it wasn’t a game. If I’d needed any further proof that Cass was as lost to the throesof passion as I was, I got it when his big hands wrapped around my ankles so he could lift my legs until I was spread wide open for him. I should have been horrified, scared, and humiliated as he set my feet down on the table, leaving me completely exposed and vulnerable.

I wasn’t horrified.

Or scared.

Or even humiliated.

Not with the way Cass was looking at me. His dark eyes were burning with lust but there was something else there too. Something that had me spreading my legs wider and lifting my hips to give him a better view instead of trying to hide from him.

Cass let out what sounded like a snarl and then grabbed me by the hips and yanked me forward until my balls were pressed up against his hard-on which was still confined behind his jeans. I could see my pre-cum streaking the denim.

His expression remained hard and hungry, but when he ran his palm from my neck down to the point just above where the head of my dick was bobbing up and down, his touch was deliciously rough because of his calloused hand. Yet it was also achingly gentle, and no part of my upper body went untouched. I arched my back as the pops of electricity beneath my skin followed the touch of his hand. When Cass tortured me by running one finger down the length of my sensitive cock, I had to turn my head so my moan wouldn’t be overheard by any potential neighbors. My position made it impossible to see what came next.

Though I didn’t have eyes on what was to come, hearing the sound of spit was a familiar one and truth be told, it did scare me. Cass’s spittle landed in random spots on my dick and groin. Despite my fear, my dick twitched with each drop that made contact with it. My mind and body warred with one another as each bit of saliva hit my sensitive skin.

The guys who’d fucked me at Tank’s had usually foregone real lube and had merely spit on my hole and the tips of their dicks before they’d rammed themselves into me.

It had never felt good.

What Cass was doing… itdidfeel good. Really good. And he was doing it tomydick, not his. I levered myself up onto my elbows so I could see everything he was doing to me. I was just in time to see a gob of spit leave his mouth and land on my balls. It was all I could do not to come on the spot when Cass lazily swiped his finger through the spit, mixing it with my lightly furred balls. His touch was gentle, tender even, his eyes curious.

Until he lifted them and saw me watching what he was doing.

“On your back,” Cass growled. He held my gaze while I remained unmoving because I was torn between obeying him or ending this whole thing. It finally hit me that what would or wouldn’t happen came down to one thing, and it was the one thing that was the hardest for me to give. Harder than even my love.

Trust.

From the moment I’d seen Cass again for the first time, I’d made sure to tell and show him repeatedly that Ididn’ttrust him; thathe’dstolen my ability to trust in anyone. Despite where we were now and all we’d done to get here, I still hadn’t spokenthosewords to him.

This encounter might have started out because of verbal sparring that had gotten out of control, but it hadn’t been the words themselves that had driven us tothismoment. Notthismoment where I was flat on my back, completely at Cass’s mercy. I could tell him to stop, and he would do exactly that. Except this wasn’t about me saying yes or no. It was about me not saying anything at all. It was about letting my mind, not my heart make the choice.

At first, I thought Cass just wanted what the men in all those bars and clubs had wanted—complete control so they could take their pleasure. Cass did want control, but not like any of those men had. He wanted me to trust him enough to hand that control over to him.

Despite everything I’d let complete strangers do to me, ithadbeen my choice. I’d never been forced or drugged. I might have been too drunk at times to give consent, but I’d chosen to toss back all those shots with one goal in mind. I’d chosen which guy I wanted. Or guys. I’d chosen to let them do whatever they wanted to do to me. I’d chosen to let them call me names and degrade me. It had all been part of the game. Everyone who went to a place like Tank’s knew that. I hadn’t been there by accident.

Cass had been right when we’d first seen each other again and he’d forced me to accept that night after night, I had put some element of trust into the hands of men who could have taken my life if they’d wanted. Squeezing my neck for just a little too long during rough sex with the wrong guy and that would have been it. Yet I’d given every single one of those men the chance to do just that because I’d trusted I’d come out the other side both breathing and feeling the relief that addicts felt. Chasing the dragon. That was what they called it. I’d been chasing that same kind of high every time I’d gone through the door of Tank’s, and just like any other addict, when the high had faded too quickly or hadn’t been there at all, I’d pushed every encounter to a whole new level.

Things had been different in those days, though. Trust hadn’t cost me anything. I’d been living a life that hadn’t been mine anymore anyway, so giving my body over to a stranger to use as he pleased hadn’t mattered.

Nothing had mattered.

Cass did, though.

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