Page 60 of Love Harder

She went on to ask about his family history, and I was amazed when I answered yes to most things she queried about. She said our bond was strong, and sometimes, we’re fated to the wrong people. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad.

It just means that sometimes, shit happens, and life doesn’t work out the way you want.

I’ve learned to accept that.

But the tie I had with Mr. J, it did make me think that there is a reason we keep coming back to one another. I never wish to paint him in a bad light. He just didn’t want what I did. Yes, he is frustrating, but one cannot condone him for feeling the way he does.

He never intentionally set out to hurt me. Unlike Ghost, who had a chance to make things right. But he chose to be a chickenshit about it. Mr. J just didn’t want a relationship. How could I be mad at him for that?

We gravitated back to one another because our connection, our chemistry, wasn’t the issue—it was all the other stuff in-between.

And now that Psychic mentioned some supernatural tie as such, I felt like he and I were always meant to be in each other’s lives in one way or another.

I spent two hours with Psychic. She said some things that are too personal to share. I believed what she said because she just knew too much. She spoke about a trauma in my childhood that I only recently faced. She then spoke about my work and then the inevitable—the bad luck I have with men and why that is so.

We also spoke about my latest book. She congratulated me for being so vulnerable. She knew what it was like for people to look at you funny because you’re one of the “weird” ones. We really connected.

We spoke like old friends, and in the end, she told me a lot about her past. Of how she came about to where she was.

Her mother was Bruce Springsteen’s spiritual adviser. You can look this up. It’s all true. She told me about her family history, and it read like a novel. I was so intrigued by her. I like to think that when we meet someone, we take a piece of knowledge away from that meeting; something that we didn’t know, perhaps.

And with Psychic, I felt nothing but love and warmth from this exceptional woman.

I don’t know why we met, but I’m so thankful for it.

She had another client, so it was time to say goodbye. But she asked me to come back tomorrow. Our time together wasn’t done.

When I’ve told others this story, the first thing they’ll say is how much did she charge? They instantly assume that Psychic was in it for the money. She wasn’t. What she charged me is less than what I’ve spent on lunch.

She hugged me and promised that good things are ahead.

Those things, however, didn’t include Brooklyn.

I went for a long walk after seeing Psychic. I needed to decompress. It was…a lot.

Brooklyn called. He wanted to know how things went with Psychic because although he wasn’t a believer, it seemed curiosity got the better of him.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said about him. Were our days numbered? When would be the precise moment things turned?

I decided to leave out those details but told him the rest. I could hear he was impressed. He then asked where I was. I told him Central Park and that I was going to go for a run tomorrow morning.

He was horrified and concerned for my safety because it was dangerous to be running by myself in the dark. I was touched by his concern. He reiterated he didn’t want me doing it because he was worried.

I swooned.

We spoke for hours as I explored. Although I have been to Central Park many times before, I always find something new. And I loved exploring Brooklyn’s home ground while talking to him. Being with Brooklyn was effortless. There never was an uncomfortable silence. We always found something to talk about.

But in the back of my mind, Psychic’s words played over and over. Not to believe her meant all the other things she had predicted were wrong.

I was so torn.

But what’s new?

New York City is my spirit animal.

I’m convinced I lived here once upon a time. I never feel like a stranger when walking the streets, and I always find my way to where I want to go. To someone who gets lost regularly, this is something.

I caught up with friends.

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