Page 59 of Love Harder

She said he suffered from depression and anxiety, which he did.

“He uses you as a counselor.”

“Yes. He calls when something is wrong, or he’s anxious.”

She raised a brow. “You do not want that in a partner. You need someone who will support you. You’re not his mother. You’ve done enough of that in the past with partners. No more. Stop putting others before your own needs.

“It’s bad energy transfer. They suck all they can from you before there’s nothing left but a husk of who you once were.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“You’re moving to America. Have you met the older man with money?”

This was a lot to digest.

I just stared at her, mouth agape.

“I know you like men younger than you. You like the ones who are pretty on the outside. They know it, and they act on it.”

Meaning they were usually fuckboys, or fuckboys with training wheels.

She was right.

But how do you stop something which you know is going to burn you, but you want to touch…so…damn…badly.

“Show me a photo of the younger one you like.”

Dimples.

When I did, she shook her head once again. “He sleeps around. Please use protection with him. He likes you, but he is young. Don’t expect much from him.”

Which I already knew.

“Show me a picture of Brooklyn and Mr. J.”

I did.

She sighed.

By this stage, I was pretty sure she wished I never stumbled across her sign at midnight. But I knew that wasn’t the case.

I could see the compassion in her eyes, and all I could think was you won’t heal by going back to what broke you.

I don’t know where this came from. But the proverbial “epiphany” hit at that moment.

Whatever happened, I needed to remember the reason I left. The reason the men in my life were no longer an integral part of my narrative.

“Brooklyn is not in your future.” She didn’t elaborate, but I knew she meant business. “Mr. J…hmm…”

Hmmis never good.

“A blood tie binds you to him.”

I had no idea what that meant.

“Soulmate, twin flame, these are good things. A blood tie is not.”

No surprise there.

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