Page 20 of Love Harder

I also didn’t want to waste time because he was leaving. So when he asked for my number, I gave it to him without wondering if I would wake up in a bathtub of ice with a missing kidney.

I remember one of the first things he said when he called me. “Hi, I’m Switzerland. I’m your new boyfriend.”

And it just stuck.

I called him my boyfriend, and he called me his girl.

We were two human beings who gravitated to one another. It didn’t feel as though we had met as strangers. It felt as though we had known one another forever.

I went to his house, and he showed me his setup. Switzerland was a very talented DJ. He was moving to better his career since he had accomplished everything he could here.

I admired his decision and found him to be so brave.

We spoke for a very long time until Switzerland told me we were going into his bedroom. He wasn’t presumptuous or crass; he was bossy, but in that sexy alpha sort of way that I like.

I followed, not really sure what to expect. The first time with someone is always an exciting but scary experience. Willthey live up to the hype in your head? Or will they be a huge disappointment, leaving you wishing you’d stayed home instead?

However, the moment he hugged me, everything became still and safe. He appeased my heart and mind, but because of Ghost, I had my walls firmly affixed into place.

But it was hard not to soften when Switzerland cuddled me and kissed my neck. There was perhaps apprehension to his touch. I liked that.

He was tender but wild.

Bossy but kind.

Being with him was different from Ghost, so I surrendered. From the first moment we kissed, I knew he was about to change my world.

I didn’t know how or why. I just knew he made the pain go away.

He didn’t smother me.

He didn’t expect anything from me.

He just wanted to be with me. And I felt the same way about him.

We spent hours with one another. We lay together, and he told me a story in German. It was by far the cutest first date I ever had.

I liked the way he spoke. He was articulate and clever. I liked the way he smelled. Being with him felt natural. You just know when someone is your person, and Switzerland was mine.

He was tall, inked, and had the most beautiful face I had ever seen. He was incredibly expressive, something I don’t think he is aware of. His smile made me smile.

I love hand tattoos, and Switzerland’s were incredible. A tiger on one hand and a clock on the other.

The thing about Switzerland is that he was so incredibly humble. I didn’t realize how talented he was until I asked afriend who fanboyed when I told him we had kissed. He gave me the lowdown on who he was in the music world, and I suddenly liked him all the more because he never hinted at his success. I didn’t like him for his successes, however. Admired? Yes. But I liked him more because of how humble he was.

We had a second date a week later.

It was even cuter than the first.

Switzerland always made lots of eye contact with me. When engaging in conversation, he always held my attention.

There is something about a man who can hold his own.

The more time I spent with Switzerland, the more things I saw and liked. Honestly, there wasn’t one thing that I didn’t like.

He was so kind to me.

I felt comfort and affection in his presence, and when we lay together, I was at peace. The simple things with him provided me with a warmth I hadn’t felt with anyone else in a long time.

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