Page 55 of Love Harder

Our talk never really delved into the “heavy breathing, what are you wearing” kinda vibe. We discussed what we liked in the bedroom, and I was relieved to hear we were on the same page.

It was a match made in fuckery heaven.

Brooklyn and I got to know one another inside and out for weeks, and I honestly can say he is the first guy to ever do that. Hewasdifferent.

I thought Ghost was a good communicator. But Brooklyn ran circles around any man I was with prior. But my heart was perpetually scarred due to being obliterated by men who promised they were different, only proving to be worse than their predecessors.

So I was wary.

I wanted to believe he was everything he said he was, but there was a catch.

There had to be.

So…I waited.

And waited.

But each day, Brooklyn was there, just how he said he was going to be.

My heart and brain were forever battling the other because this was unheard of, a man who actually was who he said he was.

My bestie and cosmic sister Mötley, who was by my side throughout every relationship, liked Brooklyn. She knew my ex-husband. She knew MR. J. She was there when I cried over Ghost. She had snacks and a bottle of wine in hand when Switzerland left.

It was she and I andthenDimples, as she often said,wehad to remember he acted the way he did when things went wrong. It was neveryouhave to remember; it was alwayswe. And I love that regardless of her troubles, she always opened her heart to comfort me when I sank low.

She helped me wade through the tears to find my laughter again. We would play voice message ping-pong, consisting of nothing but laughter. The type of laughter where no sound comes out ’cause you’re laughing so hard.

No one would understand the stuff we laughed about and that’s the best kind of laughter. When just a look can trigger an onslaught of laughter where words are replaced with pure hysteria, that’s the best kind of medicine for the soul.

I highly recommend it because laughter with my besties is what saved me from drowning in the sea of tears.

So it goes without saying, Mötley approving of Brooklyn had me falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. He spoke to my friends, humoring them because they are my friends after all.

He edged his way into my world, and for once, I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t guessing if or when he would reply. I knew that he would because he proved himself time and time again.

When he didn’t, he would apologize and explain why.

Once upon a married time, I had this. I had a man who made me feel safe. A man who delivered on his promises. A man who didn’t play games. So I knew what it felt like. I knew what it felt like to like someone and have them like you back.

Brooklyn’s messages soon became such a normal part of my days that we fell into this “situationship” without even really discussing it.

I made it no secret that moving to the US wasn’t a pipeline dream. He asked where I wanted to move. I told him California. He was happy with my choice, and it was decided he would move with me.

Things were simple with Brooklyn, and after having complicated for the last…forever, it was a nice change.

He wasn’t a romantic or a sweet talker. He was a realist. He was also extremely intelligent. He had a bit of a temper which Iliked because he didn’t take shit. He was old-fashioned in a lot of ways. But he also admitted he was a little brat.

He sent me a reel one day about people who get angry quickly. It really touched me because it detailed that beneath their fiery exterior was a soul filled with compassion that was quite sensitive to emotions. They feel both highs and lows intensely, so their anger is a protective shield. They love wholeheartedly. They invest so much emotion in their relationships that they can feel frustrated when they feel undervalued or overlooked.

I fell a little bit harder for him because no man had ever sent me something like that before.

Was he attempting to allude that this explained him? If so, I was hooked.

He didn’t shy away from conversation and shared so much with me about his past.

The good.

The bad.

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