Page 165 of Cashmere Cruelty

“Will you just SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”

Petra reels back as if slapped. It’s not the first time I’ve yelled at her, but it’s the first time I’ve raised my voice like this. The first time Imeantit.

And then I follow her gaze towards the door—and I see Yuri and Grisha staring at us.

How long have they been here?I ask myself.How much did they hear?

“Fine,” Petra grits, humiliated. “You know what? Fine. Go marry your fucking whore or whatever. I’ll do it myself.”

“Petra.”

“I’ve always done it on my own!” she bursts out, too far gone for a dignified exit. “I’ve always had to pave my own way, so what’s new? I’ll makevoron my terms. I’ll do it all by my own damn self.”

And she storms out.

I know I should try to stop her. It would be the smart thing to do. But those words—go marry your fucking whore—are still ringing in my ears, making my hand twitch for my gun.

So I don’t stop her.

I watch my last hope go charging out the door… and I don’t say a thing.

51

APRIL

“You don’t understand, June—Icompletelyforgot to tell him!”

This is a disaster. Total, utter chaos.

Because the day of the Mallard Expo has come, and I still haven’t managed to tell Matvey.

It’s not that I didn’t want to. It’s just that there was all that awkwardness before. All those silences.And after…

Well, after, I just kind of lost track of time. And space. And anything that wasn’t Matvey’s hands, or his voice, or his?—

On the other end of the line, June clicks her tongue. “So what? He’s not your keeper or anything, is he?”

I wince. “He… kind of is.”

Not only am I wracked with guilt about this, I’m also in a complete panic. I grabbed the first dress I could find—thefirst dress!For a fashion expo!—and now, I’m turning the closet inside out to find the shoes that go with it. Why is it that, as soonas you’re in a hurry, everything you need is suddenly located in another dimension?

“Besides, we’ll have Pyotra with us?—”

“Petra,” I correct distractedly as I throw yet another pair of wrong shoes behind my shoulder.

Great. Not only have I lied to him, but now, I’m also trashing his place.

“Whatever. She’s got hired muscle, no?”

I bite my lip. “Well, yeah, but I’ve been trying to reach her all morning and she hasn’t replied to a single one of my texts. Maybe something came up and she can’t make it?” I give up on finding a pair of coordinated shoes and just go with the black ones. When in a pinch, always go with black.

“Maybe she’s driving there as we speak.”

“Please,” I snort. “Petra? Driving herself? Pigs will fly sooner.”

“Now, I’m even more curious to meet this mystery woman.”

Not only did I forget to tell Matvey about today, I also forgot to tell Petra that June was coming. It was a spur-of-the-moment invite. I really hope she won’t mind.